Women, Encourage
the Younger Women

Older women . . . teaching what is good,
That they may encourage the young women
To love their husbands, to love their children,
To be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind,
Being subject to their own husbands,
That the word of God may not be dishonored.

—Titus 2:3–5       

When young women have questions regarding marriage, childbirth, child training, and in keeping a home they either seek their peers or the “experts” for help. For the most part, these young women have already rejected the notion of being stay-at-home moms and being submissive to their husbands. They have also rejected many other areas of the Bible that describe the duties of a godly woman. They unknowingly are dishonoring, even blaspheming, the Word of God by their actions since the Bible tells us that women should strive to be “discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:5 KJV).

Are the young women to blame? Let me ask you: Are there older women in your life who will encourage and teach you so that you are prepared for your roles as a wife, mother, and homemaker? Probably not.

Our ministry is hoping to remedy this dilemma since God has called all of us, even you, to help guide, encourage, and teach what we know is true. No matter what your age, you are an older woman to someone. Even if you are in your late teens or early twenties, you can influence a girl in her early teens or young girls who would look up to you if you would only look around, then take the time to encourage them.

We all know that if we do not take the time to encourage and teach these young girls, what else can they do but to seek out the world’s view and standards through the so-called “experts” of our day? Those
“experts” who will undoubtedly lead them down the path that is the wide road to destruction!

“Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it” (Matt. 7:13).

Many of you are encouraging and teaching younger women in your life—and you do not even know it. You are teaching them by your example. Young women at your place of work, in your church, your neighborhood, and family members (your cousins, nieces and younger sisters)—they are all watching you. What do they see? Are you an example of a godly woman or a woman who claims to be a Christian but is not living a life according to what the Bible says, but what the world is already screaming at them?

Second Corinthians 3:2 states, “You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men.”

Second Corinthians 3:2, KJV, states it this way, “Ye are our epistles written in our hearts, known and read of all men.”

Your life is an epistle or letter, which is being read by women who know you, as well as women whom you may not even know, but who know and watch you. Is your life bringing glory to God? Is your life teaching them things found in Titus 2:4–5 that says, “That they [older women] may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed”?

What to Teach

There are many things that we could teach the younger women. However, before we run off with some of our own ideas; first, let’s see what God says. Does God give us any guidance or directions so we know what we are to teach the younger women? Believe it or not, God does not tell us to teach them our favorite subjects or our passions. The Bible clearly gives us a specific outline. But before He ever gives us His list, He sums it up right in the beginning with, “Teaching what is good.” Isn’t that wonderful? Each time we teach or encourage younger women, we must simply make sure that what we teach is “good”!

Then, He goes on to explain this first prerequisite within this list found in Titus 2:3:

teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women . . .

to love their husbands

to love their children

to be sensible

pure

workers at home

kind

being subject to their own husbands

[so that] the word of God may not be dishonored.

Know—Live—Speak

Whether or not you want your life to speak to others—we have no choice. Our lives are our letters “known and read by all men.” I don’t know about you, but I want my life to show Jesus. People are not impressed with your Christian bumper sticker or the fish on your car. They are not impressed with the cross you wear around your neck or the Bible you always carry with you. They are looking at your life, your attitude, and your love (or lack of love) for others. It is my prayer that these verses have brought conviction to your heart and that you will take the next step toward a life that whispers and later shouts “Jesus.”

To change your life, you will need to do these three things in this order:

Know the Word of God.

Live the Word of God.

Speak the Word of God.

Know It

“Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Tim. 2:15, KJV). Until you know something, you cannot live it. If this is your first time through this book, you have seen how learning the truth has set you free in many areas in which you were once bound. This is not the power of this book—it is the power of His Word.

Dear friend, you have already taken the first step toward a life that will encourage younger women. By reading this book, you have begun to study the Word of God as it relates to women and to the issues that women face. Most of us, if not all of us, built our houses on sinking sand. Our opinions and lifestyles were not a result of knowing what God thought, but instead, we ignorantly accumulated teachers that tickled our ears (2 Tim. 4:3).

After you know the truth, you simply need to replace your old thoughts and old opinions with the truth. As you read through this book, if you have been making the 3x5 cards as I have suggested, then you are well on your way to a new life that will change the lives of others.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” (Rom. 12:2). God’s way of changing us is simple and perfect. He tells us in this verse that by renewing our minds, we will be transformed. On top of all that, we also prove, by our lives, what the true will of God is for a woman—that which is good, acceptable and perfect! Hallelujah!

How often have we TRIED to change ourselves? Every time we try, we are defeated again and again. Then, we add more defeat to our lives as we turn our efforts over to changing other people. This always fails. God’s ways are different—His ways are far above our ways and our reasoning.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts” (Isa. 55:9).

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” (Prov. 3:5).

The only way for us to change ourselves is to renew, or make new, our minds. The only way to change the people in our lives is to live with them in a loving manner. We must begin, by being patient and kind.

As I mentioned earlier, using the 3x5 card method works. I know because in my mind are hundreds of Scriptures that have replaced my own thoughts and the worldly way I used to think. Without any effort on my part, my life started to change because of the Scriptures that I read over and over again. Hundreds of women have told me that this method changed their lives. In addition, many write to tell me that they have literally worn out their books, reading them over 50 times! Putting that much of God’s Word in your mind will undoubtedly result in a totally transformed and new life!

Live It

Once your mind is renewed by the principles that have been sown in your heart,  your life will naturally begin to reflect the change. In addition, we must also be willing to make the changes necessary and not compromise the will of God that has come to reside in our minds. The changes will appear in the ways that we act and react to events, the priorities in our lives, and even our desires or goals. All of these will begin to reflect our renewed minds. However, if we try to hang onto our old habits or friendships that do not fit in with our newly transformed minds, we will fall into the trap of double-mindedness.

“But let him ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways” (James 1:6–8).

When we continue to associate with people who are not like-minded, we tend to hold onto our old bad habits and doubts and confusion enter our minds. We begin to doubt the validity of the principles that we have learned. Instead, we must not hesitate to take the next step by making the changes in our lives that we have been prompted to make by the Holy Spirit.

Unfortunately, too many women make the mistake of hesitating to obey the leading of the Holy Spirit by not making changes in their lives. It is in the midst of this hesitation that we find ourselves in the very dangerous state that the Bible refers to as double-mindedness. This unfortunate state is where, I believe, most Christians today live. It is why they do not receive abundant blessings from God and they do not live His abundant life as He promised. God tells us that those who are double-minded should expect nothing from God (as we read in the above verse). Double-mindedness begins with knowing the truth, but then failing to live the truth.

We see it often in RMI members. When someone finds out the truth about trusting God in a particular area of her life, through the renewing of her mind, she becomes convicted. Yet, because of fear, rebellion, or apathy, she fails to line her life up with her conviction. Soon, there is a pattern of failure, and confusion follows: the “double-minded” man principle is activated.

The time to make the changes in your life is now, before you marry, and then be absolutely sure that your future husband shares your convictions. We actually have A Wise Man that every young man should read. It is basically this exact book. The subjects are the same, but it speaks to men who also have distinct duties that the Bible is careful to teach them—if they, too, would only put their spiritual well-being ahead of their career, entertainment, sports, or their physical strength. This is the same thing that way we are asking the women to do.

Knowing these principles, and then choosing to marry based on your spiritual compatibility will mean a successful, long, and happy marriage. Most women are not as fortunate as you are, they were already married when they get this book and learned the principles in it. They must deal with how to live their newfound convictions when their husband does not yet share these convictions. This is when the principles in “Won Without a Word” must be followed—which, as you know, are very difficult to do!

You must be careful not to manipulate. You have to stop trying to get your way in your relationship with your husband. You must shown him your gentle and quiet spirit, and you must be willing and eager to follow his lead—even when you know he is heading in the wrong direction!

Women who are married have to do all that, and often wait for a crisis to arise, for her to be able to share her newly found conviction with her husband—all because of the gentleness of her spirit. However, some men choose to live their own lifestyles that seek after the things of this world, rather than the things of God. So, my dear, choose your husband wisely.

Speak It

Once your mind is renewed and your life reflects this renewal,  God will begin building your ministry to women. One of the greatest needs today is for women to minister to other women. There are many young women who are going into seminary to become female pastors. Personally, I am not interested in what these educated women pastors have to say. I am interested in a woman who has lived the life that I have been called to live (as a mother and a homemaker) and has come through it victoriously despite obstacles. I do not want someone to point the way; I want them to have built a bridge over the deep rivers and valleys that they have personally crossed.

When I had to face caring for my father who was dying, I looked to an older woman who had cared for her bed-ridden mother. I knew that she knew what I was feeling and the hardship that I was facing. Knowing that she had done it and that she had not only survived but was greater for the experience was what gave me the fortitude and the example to accomplish this difficult task. I cannot tell you how many times her example helped me to go on, not only to make it through caring for my father, but again while I was caring for my dying mother. There are very few who will live a radically different life, a life that whispers, “Jesus.” Those who do are the ones who change the course of the entire world.

God will begin your ministry, most likely, in the confines of your family, friends, church, workplace, and community. Later, if you continue to grow, God will expand your territory. Who would have ever dreamed that the Lord could take a heart-broken person like myself and allow me to minister around the world? Certainly not me!

Second Chronicles 16:9 tells us, “For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.”

God is looking for you; He wants to use you. Just one person like yourself can change thousands of lives if you just search for the truth, get outside of your area of comfort, allow the convictions to change you from the inside-out, and begin to line your life up with your newly found principles. God will do the rest.

I do not know about you, but I want God to ask the devil to consider me like he considered Job. I want God to take this frightened woman who is hiding behind this computer, and make her a “mighty warrior” like Gideon. I want to have such faith that I could be like Abraham and to be a friend of God. I want to be after God’s own heart like David and walk with God, as Enoch had the pleasure of doing. I want to have the Wisdom of Solomon to minister to the women of this world. I want to be a leader like Moses to deliver God’s people from the bondage of the world and to lead them through the wilderness to the Promised Land. I want my life to be so pleasing to God that because of me, my children will be blessed like David’s children and lineage.

You may say “impossible,” but I know it is possible. God said it is and I believe Him.

“Jesus said, ‘With men it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God’” (Mark 10:27).

Fruits!

You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor figs from thistles, are they?” (Matt. 7:16).

“So then, you will know them by their fruits” (Matt. 7:20).

How do the younger women who need your help find you? They’ll find you by your fruits! When women look to me for personal help in training their children, I tell them to look for the ladies in their church who have well-behaved children. They are there, yet sometimes they are hard to find. These are the children who often sit in church with their parents rather than go to children’s church, but you may not notice them because they are not disruptive. You do not notice them because they are not running around with the other children up and down the aisles after church. Yet, when you find them, you know it.

Though I totally messed up in my marriage because of my ignorance of the principles of marriage (until my second husband left me and I learned the truth), I did quite a bit better with my parenting—thankfully, I have produced a lot of fruits. I am continually praised for my children and for their behavior almost on a daily basis by just about anyone who meets any of my children; many are complete strangers who are amazed by their character. These are my fruits in the area of children.

Young women need to see a happy woman for them to want what she has. This is a powerful evangelism tool. My older sister, who just recently became a powerful, on-fire Christian, told me that I was the greatest influence that led her to the Lord. She said quite frankly, “I wanted what you had!” She said that she saw my children, my life, and the blessings that I lived in and said, “Why not me!” Then, as I talked to her, she realized Who was at the center of my life and Who was the giver of these blessings. This is true evangelism!

So many women talk and lecture to their family members until they are blue in the face, and then are puzzled, wondering why their family does not want to accept the Lord or any of her counsel. If we are constantly whining and complaining, keep a dirty house or room, and act frazzled and unnerved most of the time—who in their right mind would want what we have to offer? However, if you live a godly life that is not free from trials (tribulations come into everyone’s life) and if you are a woman who praises the Lord in the midst of those trials—your life becomes a life worth wanting because of  the blessings that result form your obedience.

It does not happen overnight. It is a process. Personally, I began looking like a complete nut, a moron, a fool—but I turned out to be a “fool for the Lord!” God in His infinite wisdom “has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong” (1 Cor. 1:27). This is who I am—simply a fool to confound the wise.

I stopped debating or trying to make my family and close friends understand why I did what I did. They confronted me on the amount of children I continued to have, the way I disciplined them, my decision to teach my children at home (rather than send them to school) and especially when I “stood by my man” who was in adultery. It did not take long for me to see that I was not going to convince them or anyone else by what I said—I had to live these convictions long enough to produce fruits.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD and whose trust is the LORD. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit” (Jer. 17:7–8).

I love the way that verse reads when it says “who trusts in the LORD and whose trust IS the LORD.” If your trust is in Him, in His Word, and in His promises alone, then I promise you that in the end you will not be ashamed.

Fulfilling Your Call

When my fourth child was born, I was in my early thirties. This was my first daughter, Tyler, who would forever change my life. I knew that someday she would look to me and emulate me as she grew to womanhood. I knew I needed help. When I discovered the passage in Titus 2 about the “older women teaching the younger women,” I went to my pastor and asked him where I might find an “older woman” to teach me. His reply was simply, “I don’t know.” If a woman came to your pastor today, and asked the same question, what would be his response?

Unfortunately, most young women do not even know that the Bible tells them where they are to get help.  If they did know, would they look to you? It has been my heart’s desire ever since the day my house fell (when my daughter was just two years old) to be an older woman who helps younger women prevent their houses from falling. I made so many mistakes that could have been avoided had I just had a godly woman willing to show me what the Bible said and to love me enough to tell me when I was making a fatal mistake, as with my contentiousness, which resulted in my second marriage being destroyed. Today, to complicate matters, most young women do not want to listen to anyone about anything. They seek out “experts” or their friends who know just as little as they do about things like child training, rather than the woman who has the well-behaved children. They listen to talk shows to get marriage “advice” from other foolish, arrogant woman who are in the world, and then they follow that fatal advice in their own marriages.

I believe that this book is just one of the ways that the Lord has given me “the desires of my heart.” My ministry began by helping desperate women who had just found out that their husbands had been sleeping with their best friends, had moved in with them, or had just filed for divorce. For years, my heart has desired to be able to somehow prevent the pain and heartache that I had to endure. Rather than waiting for the problem to arise, let us all fulfill the call on our lives as the “older woman,” and invite women we know to study A Wise Woman with us!

Most groups are born when just two like-minded friends get together to go through A Wise Woman. Then, lo and behold, they meet another woman who would benefit from the information, and they invite her to join them. Their group grows by word of mouth, and the fruits are incredible: women are meeting Jesus, marriages are being restored, and women are leaving the workplace to care for their little ones. Soon, they find that they are older women ministering to the real needs of the women in their churches, neighborhoods, circles of friends, and many times, their own family members.

God’s way often does not happen through a board of directors or a vote, or through a college course or degree. His way begins with women, like you and maybe your friend, who want more of God in their lives. These women want their lives to be different, and they stumble on A Wise Woman, which is different from anything they have ever read or heard. Its message is difficult to accept, but soon after reading it, a “peace” sets in. They are forever changed by the power of God and by the principles and promises of His Word.

Has God placed a burden in your heart for the women in your life, church, and community? If so, then I would urge you to begin praying about opening your home to the women whom the Lord will send you. By simply opening your home (or meeting in your friend’s home once a week), you are about to begin changing the world around you. This is just the first step in your ministry to reach women with the gospel and to heal the broken-hearted in the church. Will you fulfill the call that the Lord has on your life?

I Shall Not Be Ashamed

God promises that if we look to Him, if we trust Him, if we follow His commandment about how to live and set our faces like flint, not allowing criticism and controversy to cause us to compromise what we know is true, then we, too, will not be ashamed.

“They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed” (Ps. 34:5).

“Then I shall not be ashamed when I look upon all Thy commandments” (Ps. 119:6).

“How blessed is the man [and woman] whose quiver is full of them [children]; they shall not be ashamed, when they speak with their enemies in the gate” (Ps. 127:5).

“For the Lord GOD helps Me, therefore, I am not disgraced; therefore, I have set My face like flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed” (Isa. 50:7).

It is not an easy road to walk as a powerful Christian woman today and to follow the teachings of the Lord and His Word. However, it is the most rewarding experience you could ever live, and it is a life that I highly recommend.

It is not about living a “religious” life. Being religious does more to run people off from God than to win them to Him. It is living a fruit-bearing life that comes from a renewed mind, followed by a life of dying to self. It is a life that whispers, and can shout “Jesus” simply by the way you radiate the love of the Lord and exhibit the fruits of a life devoted to loving Him.

It is about living the gospel, not just in word but also in deed. “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek” (Rom. 1:16). Will you join me?

“Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord,
Or of me His prisoner;
But join with me in suffering for the gospel
According to the power of God . . .”

—2 Timothy 1:8

May Your Life Encourage and Teach the Younger Women in Your Life!

Personal commitment to make my life a living epistle that will glorify God. “Based on what I have just learned from God’s Word, I surrender my life so other women will see Jesus in me. It is my desire to learn, live, and speak the truth to the younger women in my life; therefore, I will begin my ministry at home (beginning in my own heart) and move out from there as the Lord leads.”

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