“Love of My Life” TNT 💥

"Love of My Life"

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
With unfailing love, I have drawn you to Myself."¹

In the first chapter, you were asked to “Encourage Younger Women.” This chapter supplies the how: begin with our first love. Our hearts crave an everlasting love we can feel—one we can pour into our families and lean on when life feels heavy. Rebuilding starts here, on the Rock, with the Lord first in our affections and His love securing every brick.

We discussed the beauty of encouraging younger women, and in this chapter, we explore the “why” behind it all: when the Lord is the Love of our lives, every other love becomes sweeter, safer, and stronger. What we model flows from Who loves us. "We love Him because He first loved us."²

Never forget, encouraging younger women isn’t about perfect words; it’s about a life that overflows with love. When the Lord holds first place in our hearts, our homes feel it, our husbands feel it, and the younger women watching us feel it, too. This is where their courage—and ours—gets renewed.

Gentle invitations. If the last chapter asked, “How can we lift younger women?”, this chapter asks, “What lifts us first?” The answer is simple and beautiful: giving the Lord His rightful place. Being first. Becoming and being able to say, He is the Love of My Life. From there, everything else—marriage, motherhood, our very existence—finds its rhythm and in perfect harmony.

Anchored. Younger women need steady anchors, not more pressure. Putting the Lord first anchors our emotions, quiets our reactions, and softens our tone. From that place, our encouragement feels like a safe hand to hold, not another standard to meet.

Everyday Encouragement. The most powerful lessons aren’t on a stage; they’re in kitchens, carpools, and late-night texts. When the Lord is the love of our lives, our ordinary moments become giving courage, "encouragement"—showing younger women how to choose peace over panic and obedience over overwhelm.

"Who's First in Your Life?"

Is it your baby, your child, a friend, or maybe even your husband? Oh, how easy it is to let someone else slip into that special place meant only for the Lord! A void in our hearts and lives that only He can fill. Listen to the Lord, He said it so clearly: “If you love father or mother more than Me, you’re not worthy of Me. And if you love son or daughter more than Me, you’re not worthy of Me.”³ Later, He speaks to us so tenderly yet firmly: “But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.”⁴ The reason He's upset is because He knows— no one can love you like He can, and when anyone else tries, you're left hurt, confused, even broken.

Dirty Rags. Friend, let’s pause and really ask ourselves: Are the things we’re clinging to—chasing after—truly eternal? Do they build His Kingdom in us? Do they draw us closer to His heart? Remember, no matter how “good” our efforts look on the outside, our own "righteousness" or even our "goodness" is "nothing more than filthy rags compared to His goodness."⁵

So what is our Savior whispering to us? He’s saying: “Daughter, whenever you put anyone or anything ahead of Me—your relationship with Me—you’re settling for less than My best. You’re stepping out of the safety of My perfect love.”

Seek first. This is why He calls us to place Him first—first in our priorities, first in our day, and first in our hearts. He promises that if we “Seek first My Kingdom and My righteousness, all things will be added to you.”⁶ What a breathtaking promise!

Now let me ask you—what happens when someone else creeps into that first-place spot in your heart? The Lord, in His passion for you, will do whatever it takes to draw you back. Some of us, without realizing it, put our husbands (and many other people or things) above Him. And what did the Lord do? In His love, He allowed us to be separated for a time—so that our hearts would come running back to Him. In the Bible, the Psalmist sang it this way, “You have taken my companions and loved ones from me; darkness is my closest friend.”⁷

Now, let me make sure you haven't misunderstood what my heart and experience are saying. This does not mean we neglect our husbands or turn cold toward their needs, saying, “Well, I serve the Lord, not you!” No, no, no! God has given us a perfect balance in His Word: “Wives, be willing to serve your husband and look at his leadership because you are submitting to Me, your Lord.”⁸ “as is fitting in the Lord.”⁹

Why do we submit to anyone in authority over us? Because we love the Lord. Even when our husbands or other leaders may not seem worthy of our devotion—the Lord always is. Our obedience to Him is the highest act of love.

The Word of God is not Dishonored or Discredited. Sister, this gets serious, and so few realize how important this is. The Lord warns us that if we don’t honor and respect our husbands, we’re not just dishonoring them—we’re dishonoring Him and even bringing shame to His Word. Here's what He says: Wives, being subject to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be dishonored,” and in another version, “…that the Word of God will not be discredited."¹⁰

Do you see the balance? We honor the Lord by honoring our husbands. Our submission, being agreeable, isn’t about who “deserves” it—it’s about who He is.

Pleasing to the Lord. Here’s the beautiful secret: when we stop striving to please our husbands and instead set our hearts on pleasing the Lord, something miraculous happens. The Lord Himself causes us to find favor with our husbands. His Word promises: “When people’s lives please the LORD, even their enemies are at peace with them.”¹¹ Isn't that amazing?

And oh, how freeing it is to shift our focus! “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord. This woman shall be praised.”¹² And here’s the sweetest invitation of all: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”¹³

"Obedience Rather Than Sacrifice"

Obedience Opens the Door for His Peace. Sister, the Lord isn’t asking for bigger, flashier efforts—He’s after our simple, wholehearted “yes.” Obedience opens the door for His peace and protection in ways our striving never can. When we choose His way over our own, we step into the life He longs to give us.

Testimony: I used to fear becoming a “martyr”—tired, overextended, secretly resentful. And then, without realizing it, I became one. My husband would gently say, “Rest…leave it for tomorrow,” and I’d push past his words. I told myself he didn’t understand all of my responsibilities as a mother of seven, homeschooling them, and attending to our family business. But the truth? The Lord saw it all and had already placed my husband as a protection for me. Ignoring that protection wasn’t "strength"— it was rebellion—besides being foolish. When I traded sacrifice for obedience, the heaviness lifted. Obedience brought order, rest, and joy back into my life and our home.

Your Outward Appearance. Many women wear a head covering, skirts only, or other modest clothing. But modesty on the outside can’t hide a rebellious heart on the inside. The Lord sees beyond the look we present—He tenderly searches our motives. We can “sit down” outwardly while still standing up inside. That stubborn posture keeps us from the gentle, easy yoke the Lord offers. Let Him soften your attitude, not just your actions.

There is a story of a little boy whose father kept asking him to sit. He finally sat—but said, “On the inside, I’m standing up!” How often do we do the right thing with the wrong heart and then announce, “But I don’t agree”? Friend, that’s still rebellion—and it robs us of peace.

Hidden person of the heart. That's why He says, "but it should be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."¹⁴ "The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” "People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”¹⁵

Reap What We've Sown. If rebellion was a normal part of your past, it may feel familiar now. Perhaps you married someone with a similar inclination to do what is wrong. Maybe the resistance to authority has even grown. But take heart—what’s been sown can be exchanged for a better attitude— when you begin sowing kind obedience, simply being agreeable, today. New seeds mean new harvest.

And may I also let you know that many who resist authority are protecting themselves after suffering "Hidden Childhood Trauma" that He longs to heal, to help you trust Him. Take a look at the introduction to the Restore Your Life book and read a few of the testimonies, so you know you're not alone.

Nothing is Impossible. If you are married and your husband is far from the Lord, your gracious obedience (as you remember who you're doing it for, the Lord) can become a highway of grace in your home. God says you are one flesh; when you walk in step with the Lord, it creates space for Him to move in your marriage forward. Begin with your own “yes,” and watch how He works in places that once felt impossible.

The Lord Turns Hearts. As you obey, the Lord turns hearts—yes, even a husband’s. He can redirect what seems immovable. And remember, headship is His design, not a measure of worth. Don’t excuse your own disobedience because your husband isn’t a believer. No exception frees us from honoring the order the Lord set.

Suffering Unjustly. What if your husband is harsh? The Lord sees every tear. When you do what’s right and endure with a quiet, trusting heart, trusting Him, it is precious to Him. This isn’t about being a doormat; it’s about choosing the Lord’s way in tension and letting Him defend you. (If you or someone you know and love is in an abusive situation, we will be laying our hearts open in a later chapter. Let the Love of your Life know you trust Him, and keep looking more deeply into the message of this chapter.

"If You Love Me"

Once we’ve chosen to put the Lord first and honor those He’s placed in authority over us, there’s another step we can’t ignore. Sometimes we hear the idea that because we’re saved by grace, it no longer matters how we live. But love tells a different story.

Think about it—our lives reveal what we truly believe. Words alone aren’t enough if our actions don’t follow through. The Lord asks gently, “Why call me Lord if you don’t do what I say?”¹⁶ Real love shows up in the choices we make every day.

Grace is not permission to drift into what we know is wrong. Instead, it’s the gift that empowers us to live differently—to rise above old patterns. Faith that has no fruit is empty, but faith that acts is alive and strong.

So pause and ask yourself:

Do my choices reflect the One I say I love?
Am I using grace as an excuse or as more strength to grow?
Is my faith bearing fruit that others can see?

And if the honest answer stings a little, there’s good news—you can be made new. Confession, "confess your faults"¹⁷ "boast about your weaknesses"¹⁸ opens the door to healing. The Lord promises that when we open our hearts, He restores us and brings us back close again.

One day, every heart will be revealed. Some will hear Him say, “I never knew you.”¹⁹ That’s why today matters so much. Love is proven through obedience—not heavy, forced obedience, but the kind that flows out of a heart captured by Him.

"I Don't Believe in God"

What If I Don't Believe in God? Maybe we need to pause a moment to be sure you're with us on this "Love of My Life" thing because you may have wondered or even said out loud, "Do I believe in God?" or maybe "I don't believe in God?

Here's one of my favorite stories that I love to share that should help you see how simply, how wonderfully easy it is to meet the Love of Your Life.

When I was traveling all around the world, I cannot tell you how many times I found myself sitting in a cab, waiting for a train, or eating alone in a restaurant, when a simple conversation with a stranger would begin. Almost inevitably, the question would come: “Where are you from? What do you do?”

As soon as I shared that I had a ministry or that I was an author and what kind of books I write, the conversation would often take an unexpected but beautiful turn. People would lean in a little closer and quietly admit, “I don’t know if I believe in God…” or even, “I don’t believe in God at all.”

Oh, how my heart would leap with excitement in those moments! Because that opened the door for me to share what I am now sharing with you in this chapter—the hope and truth that changed my life and has changed so many others.

One of the most extraordinary experiences I’ve ever had happened during a trip to Brazil. I had been invited to speak at several churches, and at one of them, the church was packed with women who had been waiting for quite some time. On the way there, I learned that the translator who had been scheduled couldn’t make it. Another woman, a new mother with a nursing baby, had agreed to step in, and her husband had come along with her.

The moment I heard this, my spirit stirred. I just knew God was arranging something far beyond my understanding. I’ve learned not to get frustrated by delays or changes—God weaves everything together so magnificently—"all things work together for good" for the Believers who "love God and are called according to His purpose."²⁰ I had no idea what the "purpose" was, but I was about to find out.

When the young mother arrived, she was extraordinary. As I spoke, she translated every word into Portuguese with grace and clarity. While she spoke, my eyes often drifted to her husband, who stood in the wing just behind her, gently swaying their newborn baby in his arms. His face was full of expressions—curiosity, amazement, even skepticism—as he listened to every word.

After the service, I was hurried off to another location where the church was packed with women who had also been waiting for hours. But just as I was about to step into the car that was waiting, I heard my name called out—in English. I turned to see the young father standing there, this time without the baby.

“Excuse me,” he said, “may I ask you a question?”

I paused, signaling for those pulling me toward the car to wait. “Of course,” I said gently.

“You said something about talking to God. How can you be talking to God?” he asked earnestly.

I smiled. “Just like you’re talking to me now,” I said. “You simply talk to Him.”

He hesitated. "Ah," I said, "You don't believe in God.” “That’s okay,” I assured him warmly. “If you’re not sure, tell Him that. Get alone with Him—take a walk, sit in your car, step outside, or close the door to your room. Wherever you feel you can be alone and focus. Then simply say,

‘I don’t know if I believe in You, God, but if You’re real, show me.’

That’s all you need to do.”

And friend, that’s what I want to tell you, too. Once you do that—once you open your heart even a little—everything in your life begins to change. God will make Himself real to you, and He’ll reveal more and more of Himself, each time you call, again and again, until you cannot deny His love. At first, you might doubt, you might think, “This must be a coincidence.” But keep watching. He will reveal Himself to you.

The Lord, first and foremost, is a Gentleman. He never forces His way into your life. He knocks at the door of your heart and waits. All you have to do is say, “Come in. Make yourself at home. Show me who You are.”

I have shared this simple phrase, ‘I don’t know if I believe in You, God, but if You’re real, show me,’ with countless people around the world—men and women in trains, taxis, airports, and churches. And again and again, I’ve seen lives completely transformed. That young father in Brazil? I later heard back that not only did he encounter God personally, but his whole life changed. His love for his wife deepened, his heart overflowed with joy, and he became active in the church. He was not the same man.

And that’s exactly what I want for you.

It’s that simple. Open your heart. Speak to Him. Ask Him to show you He’s real. ‘I don’t know if I believe in You, God, but if You’re real, show me.’ And then watch as your life begins to transform in ways you never imagined.

Will you take that first step today? Will you dare to open the door of your heart and invite Him in? He’s waiting—just for you.

"Obedience to His Word"

Wisdom calls out to us every single day. It’s as if she’s standing right in the middle of the busiest street, raising her voice, asking, “How long will you settle for less? How long will you ignore the truth that could set you free?” The Lord longs to pour out His Love on those who will listen, but when His voice is pushed aside, we’re left to reap the fruit of our own foolish stubbornness.

But when we listen? We walk in peace. We live securely. We rest unafraid.

Obedience isn’t about outward appearances. It starts in the heart. The Lord sees past the surface and knows our motives. Real obedience may be tested, sometimes through fiery trials, but those tests refine us. They purify our hearts, making our lives shine brighter. “Do not be surprised at the fiery trials which sneak up on you for your testing.”²¹

When we choose to obey, we’re not just following rules—we’re declaring who our Father is and we are part of the family of God. Our lives testify that we belong to Him. But disobedience does the opposite. It actually celebrates to the very things that oppose Him. No wonder the prayers of a disobedient heart go unheard.

“When we go against what’s right, it ends up supporting what harms us.”
“Turning away from truth doesn’t just affect us — it encourages the wrong things to grow stronger.”
“Ignoring what’s right gives power to what’s destructive.”

The beauty of obedience is that it aligns us with the heart of our Savior. He Himself showed us what surrender looks like. Even in His hardest moment, He prayed, “Not my will, but Yours be done.”²² His obedience led to life, and ours can, too.

And here’s the secret: when we walk in obedience, we discover the Lord’s kindness and truth in every path we take. We find direction. We uncover blessings. We’re let in on His secrets—those precious treasures He only shares with those who walk closely with Him.

"Our Example”

The greatest example we can look to is the life of our Beloved Savior, Friend, and Love of our Lives. He showed us what real obedience looks like—obedience even when it was hard, even when it meant giving everything.

The Love of my life learned trust and surrender through what He suffered. In His most painful moments, He cried out to His Father, “Not my will, but Yours be done.”²³ That kind of humility and courage is what makes Him the model for us all.

Never once did He resist authority, even when it was unfair. Instead, He showed us the strength of submitting with grace. His path revealed that true freedom isn’t found in doing whatever we want—it’s found in trusting that the Lord’s ways are higher, and walking in them. “'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, 'says the Lord.' And My ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts."²⁴

And here’s the beautiful truth: when we follow His example, we discover the secret of lasting peace and success. Every path the Lord leads us on is marked by kindness and truth. For those who hold Him in reverence, He shares His wisdom and even His secrets. He says, "Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty and marvelous and wondrous things, which you do not know…things to come, things you could never figure out on your own, remarkable secrets…“²⁵ It's like living in a whole new world.

Sadly, many people argue and fight about what His teachings “really mean,” and in doing so, they miss the heart of it. Others chase after voices that only tell them what they want to hear. But the Lord makes it clear—wisdom is for those who are willing to obey, not just debate. "Wanting to have their ears tickled, they will find a multitude of people to satisfy their own desires, and turn aside to myths.”²⁶

If something in His Word feels hard to understand, don’t be discouraged. Real understanding comes only after obedience. When we take a step of faith and do what He says, the clarity and insight always follow.

The Lord has promised to stay close by us to help us. He gently leads us, helping us rise above the pull of our old ways, so that we can walk steady and strong. And part of that journey is learning self-discipline—choosing to live with understanding instead of being dragged around by our own impulses.

"Obedience Will Rescue Us from Trials"

When life gets tough, it’s often obedience—those simple, steady choices to do what’s right—that becomes the pathway out. Only those who walk with integrity find real liberation, while those who choose crooked paths eventually stumble. Wonderfully, He's made us a promise, “I will go before you, and make the crooked path straight.”²⁷

Our Beloved notices what we do. He sees the effort, the persistence, the choices no one else applauds, and He promises to bless us according to the effort and work we pour into it.

Yet, He also carefully cautions us—don’t keep turning back to the same old mistakes. His rescue and His peace are close to those who truly honor Him. Wisdom is what keeps us safe; it’s what helps us walk securely when everything around us feels shaky. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let anyone ask of God, the Father, who gives to everyone who asks for wisdom. The Father gives wisdom generously and without a lecture or finding fault. Just be sure you ask in faith, being loyal to your trust in Him, without any doubting. A person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord since their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.”²⁸

Those who dismiss the Lord’s Word miss out on its rewards, while those who respect it are enriched. Trusting only in our own hearts can lead us into trouble, but leaning on wisdom brings redemption.

And when we don’t obey, the Lord doesn’t simply look away—He disciplines us, to train us, not to harm us, and to bring us back on track, moving in the right direction. Even in the most difficult discipline, it can be embraced when we remember His heart is for us to live, to flourish, and to tell the story of His goodness.

He is faithful to what He has said. If we wander, He will correct us, sometimes firmly, like a personal trainer would do, but always with the goal of restoration. His love is steady, even in discipline, and His desire is always to draw us back to finding and living the abundant life.

Let’s pause for a moment and make this the prayer of our heart:

“Wash me clean from the things I’ve done wrong, and clear away the stains of my mistakes. I can’t deny my failures—they’re right in front of me. I’ve hurt You most of all, and I thank You for a fresh start in following You. Create in me a clean heart, and renew a strong resolve inside me. Don’t take Your presence away from me. Restore the joy of being with You and give me the strength to keep going. With that joy, I’ll be able to help others find their way [back] to You, too. What You really desire isn’t outward sacrifices—it’s a heart that’s humble, broken, and ready for change. That’s what I offer You today.”

And here’s a personal commitment you might make your own:

“Based on what I’ve learned, I choose to live every part of my life as if I’m doing it for the Lord, the Love of My Life. I’ll express my love for Him through my obedience to His ways and path, and I’ll let that obedience flow into how I treat my family and everyone around me.”

“May the Lord be with you as you grow to live in love, courage, and obedience.”

Closing the Chapter
“Love of My Life”

Once we understood our mission and what we were called to do in Encourage Younger Women, we discovered the beauty of pouring into others and walking out our calling. Then, in Love of My Life, we experienced what it means to be held by a love that never fades—a love that steadies us, secures us, and makes us whole.

Once we know the Lord is truly the Love of My Life, we no longer have to chase after approval, cling to shaky ground, or fear being left behind. His love becomes the anchor beneath us, the covering over us, and the joy within us. And now, with that foundation under our feet, we’re ready to rebuild—not on fragile ground, not on shifting sand, but on the One we can boldly claim as My Rock.

Open the Chapter
“My Rock”

Below you’ll find the same chapter, thoughtfully rewritten and revised, to help you see even more clearly the power of His love and the blessing of putting Him first in your life. While many parents share these versions with their children, countless mothers have testified that it also ministered deeply to them—bringing healing to wounds from their own past.

Book 1 My First Love
"Closer than a Brother"

Little knight rising his sword after winning a battle.

Book 1 Mighty Warrior
"Closer than a Brother"

ORIGINAL from https://hopeatlast.com/c3/day-2-chapter-2-first-love/

"Who's First in Your Life?"

“May the Lord be with you as you grow to live in love, courage, and obedience.”

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