Day 19 God’s Makeover

THE ESTHER TREATMENT

In the Bible, in book of Esther, it begins with the story of Queen "Vasti" who is being removed  and he is finding a replacement because of her behavior that infuriated and angered the king. I am sure we can all find a familiarity with that when the men in our lives who no longer wanted us!

After removing Queen Vasti, the next step was for the king to find a NEW queen, which is when Esther comes into the picture. She was chosen to REPLACE Vasti as queen! 

Though you were once like a "Queen Vasti" (just as all of us once were) God is NOW calling you to be HIS NEW Queen and HIS bride! We can already see how He has been transforming you, and we suspected this was His plan when we read through your Marriage Encouragement Questionnaire.

God is the One who saw the change He needed to make in you. He wanted to transform you from a Queen Vasti who is not fit due to her insubordinate and contentious behavior. This is why the Lord "turned your husband's heart away from you." 

"The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes"—Proverbs 21:1

The next step (if that has not gotten your attention) is to remove him completely from your life.

"You [Lord] have removed lover and friend far from me; 
My acquaintances are in darkness"—Psalm 88:18

"You [Lord] have removed my acquaintances far from me; You have made me an object of loathing to them; I am shut up and cannot go out"—Psalm 88:8

Due to not being agreeable, you are now locked in an emotional prison.

"Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into [emotional] prison"—Matthew 5:25

Your husband turned away from you to the point that he may have actually begun to loath you, and in most cases that's when—he gets caught falling for another woman. She usually has been "smooth as honey" but this is only at first. Later she will turn out to be "bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edge sword."

You need to be transformed from the contentious wife you've been in order "To deliver [your husband] from the strange woman, from the adulteress who flatters with her words"—Proverbs 2:16

"For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech"—Proverbs 5:3

"For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner?"—Proverbs 5:20

The adulteress your husband is involved with is not only going to turn sharp and bitter, but also "For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, and an adulteress hunts for [and has stolen your] precious life"—Proverbs 6:26

Only the gentle and quiet spirit of YOU as his wife will be able to "keep [him] from an adulteress, from the foreigner who flatters with her words"—Proverbs 7:5

That's because "The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; he who is cursed of the LORD will fall into [this pit of destruction]"—Proverbs 22:14

HOWEVER dear wife, the ONLY way to fight this is NOT to continue to act like an adulteress woman nor stupidly try to warn your husband (this will set you back years!!). INSTEAD begin to stop acting as the adulteress woman...

"This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth, And says, “I have done no wrong”—Proverbs 30:20

Be willing to look at yourSELF and confess your faults. This will begin to transform you into having a "gentle and quiet spirit" and AGREEABLE spirit, which are what is precious in the sight of God!

"In the same way [as Jesus acted], you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

"Your adornment must not be merely external—[the way you look, fix your hair, or jewelry]— but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God"—1 Peter 3:1-4

HOW IS THIS TRANSFORMATION POSSIBLE?

Now that you're interested in doing things GOD'S WAY, it's time to let you in on what we see He is doing in your life. That way you can work WITH God on the next step of your Restoration Journey, which is VERY EXCITING!!

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but WITH God all things are possible”—Matthew 19:26 

Like all the women who experienced a restored marriage, the Lord wants to give YOU a complete MAKEOVER and He always begins by working from the inside out, the "hidden person of the heart"!

Your heart was broken when you came to us looking for encouragement, and we hope you will pursue becoming closer and closer to with Lord. Because if you do, your heart will heal and very soon SOAR with His Love that will spill over (and be evident) to everyone in your life—just as Vicky shared with us in her Restored Marriage Testimony!!

THE BEGINNING of the TRANSFORMATION

In the book of Esther we see how once Esther was selected to replace Queen Vasti. And right after she was CHOSEN, she basically went into complete SECLUSION to be pampered and bathed and perfumed until God was ready for HIS REVEAL to her king!

And only when He knew that not only was Esther ready to take her place as queen, but He knew that the king was also ready to accept HER ALONE to sit by his side. Only then did God reveal the NEW Queen Esther—AFTER Esther's transformation to a regal queen!

During her transformation neither she nor anyone else reported the progress of her transformation to the king—not one thing about what was being done to transform her. He had no idea how she was slowly but beautifully changing!!

Instead, her makeover was kept a secret from EVERYONE

Now let's focus on that man of yours for a moment.

STEP TWO: MEN will run if they are PURSUED

Almost ALL of the men who leave or want to leave are stopped or chased and pursued by their wives AND their girlfriends! Men were not created to be chased but to be the one to chase and pursue. Men were created as the hunters, not the hunted.

The other woman didn't chase him like you are foolishly doing, instead SHE SEDUCED him with kind speech and her smooth ways to get him. Yet this ends and is only temporary so DON'T YOU try something so foolish!!

What will turn your husband's heart is when GOD does His BIG reveal and a HUGE part is TIMING! If you have created nightmarish memories of things you've said or outrageous behavior, your husband is going to need some TIME to heal and have his memory washed clean.

It's time to hide away in your prayer closet and pray Psalm 9:6 "The enemy has come to an end in perpetual ruins, and You [Lord] have uprooted the cities; the very memory of [all of] them has perished."

Some of the most amazing testimonies have happened due to praying and trusting God for the promise in this verse! One I share on my Be Encouraged videos when my own husband said something amazing to me. After years of being argumentative, of being a contentious woman, he said, "Well, we've never argued!" Again, the reason he told me he left was because of our fighting! But GOD's word are His promises to us, and I believed God could wipe out all the past memories and He did!

Not only did he forget about how I used to be, but he later forgot all about the other woman after he got home. He honestly couldn't remember anything!

Similar testimonies have come in. Early after Michelle's marriage was restored she told me how squeaky clean her husband's mind had been cleansed of his past. However, years later she wrote to tell me that bitterness was hidden in her heart due to the pain her husband had caused HER. So she began praying this prayer for herself and experienced her memories cleansed!

BECOME A CHALLENGE—NOT "EASY" TO GET

Just look at how ALL men seem to have an obsession with sports and/or hobbies that captivate them. WHY? It's because of the challenge. If there were no challenges, just like they are experiencing in their relationship with us (who are often pursuing them), then they would become bored and lose interest.

As soon as our society began encouraging women to be the ones to pursue men, the more women began being treated as a harlot would—used and abused—and abandoned.

We know that GOD CREATED women to be a husband's helper and NOT his harlot. We want YOU to be cherished and NOT CHEATED on.

Unfortunately this will never happen until each of us knows and understands HIS PLAN for the way a woman should be, which makes us attractive to men. And this is why we want to teach you how to work WITH Him in HIS makeover of YOU!

And once your makeover is complete, get ready to step up to YOUR place of honor and get ready to be pursued!!!

"You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her HONOR as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered"— 1 Peter 3:7

Do I have a Man for You!

The only way for your husband to begin to pursue you and for you to be ready for WHEN (not if) the adulteress becomes bitter and cutting— is for YOU to be involved with another MAN.

NOW please don't run away, this is not just ANY man, but THE Man. He is known by many names, because He is a Man like no other.

 In Revelation 17:14 they say:

 He is Lord of lords

 the King of kings

 

In Isaiah 9:6 they say His name will be called: 

 Wonderful Counselor

 Mighty God

Eternal Father

Prince of Peace

 

In Isaiah 54:5 He tells us some more wonderful news:

"For your Husband is your Maker, Whose name is the LORD of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.

Why would this magnificent, perfect Man become YOUR Husband?

In verse six it actually explains why:

"For the LORD has called YOU, [yes, YOU!] ,
Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit,
Even like a wife of one's youth when she is rejected,"
Says your God.

God goes on to say in verse four,

"Fear not, for you will not be put to shame;
And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced;
But you will forget the shame of your youth,
And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more."

Amazing isn't it?

And how did He know this was how you felt? That this was what was happening?

Guess what? It's because He was watching and listening!! Read this from the Bible in the book of Malachi:

"This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and with groaning...Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth"— Malachi 2:13–15

The LORD had been a witness when you have been treated unkindly, unfairly and without love!  

Why Did God Allow this Unkindness to Happen?

Because He has been jealous of the person whom your husband has become in your life. 

"You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God"—Exodus 20:5

Husbands are not to be worshiped or served, but submitted to and respected—yet only as "Unto the Lord" meaning, you are supposed to be doing this with the Lord on your mind and in your heart!

• "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as unto to the Lord—Ephesians 5:22 

• "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord—Colossians 3:18

Not only is God jealous, since Jesus bought you with a price by dying for your sins. But He also created you for fellowship with Him. Yet what He is most concerned about, because it breaks His heart, is to see you USED and ABUSED because you continue to pursue this man.

“For their mother has played the harlot; she who conceived them has acted shamefully. For she said, ‘I will go after my lovers, who give me [what I need].

“Therefore, behold, I [God] will hedge up her way with thorns, and I will build a wall against her so that she cannot find her paths. She will pursue her lovers, but she will not overtake them; and she will seek them, but will not find them. Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my first Husband, for it was better for me then than now!’" —Hosea 2:5-7

Women who are desperate and cling to their husband "out of need" are the very ones that are vulnerable to being abused, used, and mistreated! Yes, our ministry is about restoring marriages, we want women to be WILLING to allow GOD to restore your marriage (remember that is the title the book you read—How GOD Can and Will Restore Your Marriage), but that is not the same as pursuing your lover when your FIRST love must be Him, the Lord your God.

Think about it this way...

Imagine a young girl who arrives in New York City by bus, and has no one and nothing. No one to protect her, no where to live and no money for food. Is she vulnerable to being used and abused? Of course she is!

But what if that same girl had a Father who owned everything? Not only in New York City, but property everywhere? What if this same girl had a Husband who was the Son of a King? How vulnerable do you think she would be to being used and abused? She wouldn't!

Now let's think about this...

What if this same girl had a Father-in-Law who was a King and a Husband who was a Prince, and yet she RAN AFTER a some lowlife man who didn't want her? Would you think she was nuts?!?!? Of course you would!

Have you ever had your husband hug or hold you but you either still HURT inside or didn't FEEL loved? What if I told you that when you asked your New Husband to hold you, you wouldn't (necessarily) feel it on the outside, but on the INSIDE where it mattered?!

What if I told you that you could call on Him without using a cell phone, day or night, and He would be there to LISTEN and speak kind and loving words that counteracted any nasty text, email or phone call from the man who said he wanted out of your marriage and relationship?

It's true because this is the way WE live!

Not only are we incredibly LOVED but many of us are provided for by our Husband and are not working for our "income." We can't even explain HOW but we do know WHY. It's because we are His Bride and because we have put our trust in Him, our hope in Him, and because we LONG for Him above all else and anyone else. 

"Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He WAITS on high to have compassion on you For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him"— Isaiah 30:18

YES, dear abandoned and cheated one. We are blessed and want YOU to be blessed too!

Sure, people would think we're nuts, IF we told them. Yet a lesson you will learn very soon is about discretion. About keeping things to ourselves rather than what most people do that bring about opposition. We have learned to ONLY share how we live with those who find themselves in the very same emotional gutter we fell into by making so many mistakes—the main one was to worship our marriage and husband—ignoring the Man who had been trying to get our attention for YEARS.

We were unfaithful to Him. We committed spiritual and emotional adultery for years and then were surprised when our earthly husbands were unfaithful to us.

Once we got a hold of this TRUTH and became His Bride, we began to be radiant with His love.

"They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces will never be ashamed"—Psalm 34:5

And once we looked and became radiant, the change in us caught the attention of our earthly husbands because we were different and glowing!

SADLY, it's very easy to fall for the same guy who once was mean and nasty to us. We see it all the time with our friends and we try to warn them. Once they have decided to let go, very soon, they are back worshiping the guy who doesn't deserve your friend, and all too soon he is even more cruel. Dear friend, this is you!

We care about you and have chosen to be HONEST with you when no one else would. Abuse, abandonment, cruelty and unfaithfulness is beyond an epidemic! GOD wants it to stop and the only way, THE ONLY WAY, is to take His hand and enter into His strong tower where we will be safe!

"The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe"—Proverbs 18:10

All you have to do is to call out His name in your heart and find Him right there with you!

Sure, God instituted the union of marriage, but not the way marriages are now! No, we can't change men, but we can change ourselves, and in doing so, God will see to it that we are given not just respect, but HONOR! Just think about that!

"You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered"— 1 Peter 3:7

But this kind of honor is reserved for only SOME women. No, not because you are beautiful or charming, but only if you put the Lord first!

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised"—Proverbs 31:30

The word "fear" is not really saying you are to be afraid of the Lord, but to be in AWE of Him. The word in Hebrew is יָרֵא yare' meaning to stand in awe of. And once you know Him the way we know Him, standing in AWE of Him is not only natural, but the only thing you can do—unless you fall on your face or are up dancing for joy!

But aren't you a RESTORATION ministry?
Aren't you trying to get marriages back together?

YES, exactly! But from the very first marriage that was RESTORED, the one that began this ministry back in 1991, women saw their husbands' hearts turning back to them once they wanted THE LORD MORE than they wanted their husbands back or their marriages restored.

Sure, there were a few who got restored in the flesh—their husbands and marriages were their main goal. But with these same women the only way to KEEP their husbands home was to take every bit of their flesh to keep him home and even more work to keep him happy!

The ONLY WAY is to go for the BEST Husband and stay faithful to HIM! And one more thing. Let me ask you a question to prove that God has already begun your Makeover...

Have You Lost Weight?

When women come to our ministry seeking our help one of the questions we ask is if they have lost weight. It may seem like a strange question, but it is actually a good sign we look for that indicates that the woman is indeed broken, and is open to our help.  

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise—Psalm 51:17  

So, when you first came here, and you answered ,Yes, you'd lost weight, we want you to know it is a VERY GOOD sign and it's actually very GOOD NEWS. It proves that God has begun His MAKEOVER on YOU!!

PROOF 

  The saying "A picture is worth a thousand words" is true. Take a look at these before and after pictures of a few women who submitted new pictures so we could watch the transformation while God did His makeover!

  This member said, "The first picture of me that I submitted, each time I saw it I could see the deep sadness in my eyes (as that was at a time before God completely transformed me), the new picture  is just recent and it does show God all over me lol."

  This member looks so completely happy now.  

This member is a new woman too. We can clearly see from her pictures that since she was not willing to get off the potter's wheel (she was homeless and asked no one but the Lord for help) can transform you not only on the inside but also what others see on the outside.