Audio: Chapter 10 "He Turns the Heart"
Chapter 10 “He Turns the Heart”
The king’s heart is like channels of water
in the hand of the Lord;
He turns it wherever He wishes.
Has everyone told you that your husband has his own will; therefore, he may “choose” not to return to you?
When trying to restore your marriage, you will be bombarded (as everyone else is who is trying to restore their marriage) by the onslaught of those who will tell you that it is your husband’s choice and his “free will” to choose to leave you or to be with another woman. Praise the Lord, this is not the truth!!
When I searched for the answers to this dilemma of the will of man versus God’s will, I found that the Bible continually referred to “God’s will” without mentioning man’s will.
Let me show you what He showed me:
It’s not man’s will but God’s will!!
“He does His will . . .” (Dan. 4:31).
“He bestows it on whomever He wishes . . .” (Dan. 4:25).
“God is able to deliver . . .” (Dan 3:17).
Consider Nebuchadnezzar. After his pride caused him to crawl like an animal, he said of God, “He does according to His will in the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of earth; and no one can ward off His hand or say to Him, ‘What have You done?’” (Dan. 4:35). Is this not the same God who still does according to His will? Is your husband greater than King Nebuchadnezzar?
Consider also Jonah. Jonah was unwilling to do what God wanted him to do, but God made him willing. “And the Lord appointed a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the stomach of the fish three days and three nights” (Jonah 1:17). God is more than able to make your husband willing!!
Lastly, consider Paul. “Now Saul, [was] still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord . . . Suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him . . . and Saul got up from the ground, and though his eyes were open, he could see nothing . . . ‘The Lord Jesus . . . has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.’ And immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he regained his sight, and he arose and was baptized” (Acts 9:1–18).
God is more than able to change your husband in an instant!! I have seen it done countless times, with my own husband and with many other husbands! If you say “But you don’t know my husband,” I would say—you don’t know God!! He changed you, didn’t He?
Turning the Heart
You will hear pastors and other Christians say that it is your husband’s will to leave you, divorce you, or be with another woman. We just learned in Scripture that it is not man’s will but God’s will.
It may be your husband’s will to leave you, divorce you, or be with someone else. Nevertheless, God can change his heart!
We don’t need to worry about his will. Instead, we need to pray for our husbands’ heart to be turned. “The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes” (Prov. 21:1).
Pray that God will give him a new heart and replace his heart of stone with a heart of flesh! “Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezek. 36:26).
The first step in turning your husband’s heart is to find God’s promises, His truths, and then meet the conditions of those promises. These are the verses that I memorized and used to turn my husband’s heart back to me.
“When man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him” (Prov. 16:7).
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Ps. 37:4).
“Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him and He will do it” (Ps. 37:5).
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you” (Matt. 6:33).
Remember, you need to put God first in your life; He never wants to be second place to anything or anyone. Once He is first, you will begin to be transformed into His image. That is when you will begin to see your husband’s heart turn back to you.
If you struggle with this principle of man’s will versus God’s will, you will need to renew your mind with the verses in this chapter to overcome the doubts of the “man’s will theology” and replace it with God’s focus, which is the heart!
Let’s look at the Scriptures that I found that tell us how God changed the hearts of men and even kings:
“He put this in the king’s heart . . .” (Ezra 7:27–28).
“He hardened the hearts of the Egyptians . . .” (Exod. 14:17).
“The Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart . . .” (Exod. 10:27).
“The Lord turns the heart wherever He wishes . . .” (Prov. 21:1).
In the book of Proverbs we learn wisdom. Proverbs 1:2–7 lists the benefits of knowledge:
To know wisdom.
To receive instruction.
To receive instruction in wise behavior.
Also instruction in righteousness, justice, and equity.
Prudence to the naive.
To the youth, knowledge.
Read Proverbs every day for wisdom! (Go to the “Daily Devotional” section of our website for the verses to read every day—just another one of our member benefits to help you restore your marriage.)
Husbands Who Are Unwilling
Not all husbands return home even after God turns their hearts. Many husbands, unfortunately, go against their hearts because their wives are the same women they chose to leave. Once again, God is more than able to turn your husband’s heart back to you. If you are still contentious, kindness is not on your tongue, you do not exhibit a gentle and quiet spirit, then once his heart turns toward you, the old you will cause him to harden his heart and make a mental decision rather than a heart decision!
Make sure you read and reread this book over and over again! Make sure you live in the Word. Make sure you spend hours daily with your face to the ground, seeking His face. You must be a new woman for your husband to want to follow his heart and come home! Remember, the reason your husband has left or has gotten caught by an adulteress is that your home was not built on the rock. It was divided; it was torn down by your words and your attitude—in other words, your contentiousness or arrogance.
Let’s look at Proverbs and some New Testament Scriptures:
Her own hands. “The wise woman builds her house but the foolish tears (or “plucks” in the KJV) it down with her own hands” (Prov. 15:25).
House of the proud. “The Lord will tear down the house of the proud” (Prov. 15:25).
House divided against itself. “Any kingdom or house divided against itself is laid waste: and any city or house divided against itself shall not stand . . .” (Matt. 12:25).
Yet it did not fall. “Therefore, everyone who hears these words of Mine, and acts upon them, may be compared to a wise man, who built his house upon the rock. And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and burst against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded upon the rock” (Matt. 7:24–25).
Built together. “. . . Christ Jesus being the cornerstone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, is growing into a holy temple in the Lord; in whom you also are being built together into a dwelling of God in the Spirit . . .” (Eph. 2:21).
Let no man separate. “And He answered and said, ‘Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh’? Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matt. 19:4–6).
God has promised to heal, restore, and create praise on your lips! “’Because of the iniquity of his unjust gain I was angry and struck him; I hid My face and was angry, and he went on turning away, in the way of his heart. I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will lead him and restore comfort to him and to his mourners, creating the praise of the lips. Peace, peace to him who is far and to him who is near,’ says the Lord, ‘and I will heal him’” (Isa. 57:17–19).
“For perhaps he was for this reason parted from you for a while, that you should have him back forever, no longer as a slave [of sin], but more than a slave, a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord” (Phlm. 1:15–16).
Seek the Lord to break and allow the Lord to change and transform you so that when (not if) God turns your husband’s heart, he will see a new you! (See A Wise Woman for help.)
Nothing is impossible for God!
The Lord turns the heart wherever He wishes!
Personal commitment: to ask God to turn my husband’s heart and not to fear the will of man. “Based on what I have learned in Scripture, I commit to trusting the Lord to turn my husband’s heart. I dispel the lie that my husband has a free will and the lie that therefore God will not intervene on my behalf nor answer my prayers. Instead, I believe that my ‘husband’s will’ will follow after God turns his heart back home.”
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