The Freedom of Letting Go...
but first a Restored Marriage Testimony
Once Unfaithful Now Has a New Heart!
This testimony began after a young woman and her husband had only been married a short time. They were both excited that she had become pregnant right away. Unfortunately, it resulted in a tragic miscarriage. Shortly after, she found she was expecting again; however, she only carried this baby two short months, then miscarried again.
She and her husband were living abroad since her husband was in the military. She said that it seemed to help them both so much during this time, to have a couple that she and her husband had become close to.
Only a few months later, she was again expecting. This time both were very hopeful since she was entering her second trimester.
Then, one night she fell asleep on the couch while their friends were visiting late. When she woke up, she became paralyzed with shock—there across the room was her husband and the other woman kissing!! The other husband had apparently gone home. Panic struck, and not knowing what to do, she decided to move around to alert the adulterous couple that she was waking up. Startled, they jumped apart pretending that nothing had happened.
That day, after her husband left for the base, she contacted her in-laws who were Christians and they began to pray. Suddenly her husband was transferred back to their hometown for more training at a local military base. God had intervened! She thought the whole nightmare was over, until she noticed an email from the other woman addressed to her husband. She was shocked when she read the love letter that included a plan for them to “run away together after the baby is born”!
Again she called her in-laws for help. This time they called Restore Ministries. Within two days, she and her in-laws had How God Will Restore Your Marriage and the women’s workbook in hand. Both she and her in-laws read and reread the books.
However, against the principles in the book, her father-in-law insisted on confronting his son about his behavior, but it only encouraged him to then outwardly pursue the woman he felt he was “in love” with. Again, they contacted Restore Ministries. We told them that with his blatant statement, it was clear that they would need a miracle.
The miracle came after much prayer. Her husband agreed to go to church with his parents. That night, he repented at the altar of his sin of adultery and stood up with a new heart.
Update: This woman and her husband have three little ones now! They had a temporary setback about a year after their miracle when the other woman resurfaced. The young wife confessed that she was the one who had “backslidden” and stopped following the principles in the book and workbook. The OW surfacing sent this young woman back to her book and workbook again with renewed vigor! She said for the rest of her life she committed to staying in the book at all times, which has caused her to walk the principles out daily to protect her marriage. To God be all the glory!
~Paige in Florida, RESTORED
Freedom of "Letting Go"
Our Team agrees there is no more IMPORTANT lesson than this determines RESTORATION or waiting forever for it.
Here is what Hilary, our Minister in Training from South Africa shares about what she learned about "Letting Go."
I can honestly say that when I experienced the truth about letting go it was one of the most awesome revelations that I have ever experienced from God. Would you believe that I even went as far as to test the principle? It wasn't that I was testing God, more to the fact that I wanted to make sure of what He was telling me and to wrap my heart around it, so that I could explain it better to others as a minister. I am a RMIOU Minister in Training, and hope to be a minister some day and help others experience a restored marriage as I have.
I first thought that letting go was not contacting my ex-husband, not asking him for anything, not complaining about the children, etc. I made sure, in fact, that I did none of those things and took all my problems to the Lord. I did not ask my ex-husband for anything. But of course, I still missed my ex-husband. I actually thought about him all day long and longed for him. I wanted just to phone him or have some sort of kindly contact.
It was during one of these days dreaming sessions that the Lord got my attention. He showed me in a kind, loving way that letting go is not a matter of NOT DOING anything but that it is definitely a matter of the heart. Thinking and dreaming of my ex-husband meant that my ex-husband was taking God's place in my life. Whether he was part of my life, living apart from me or not, whether he knew it or not— I had made my ex-husband the king of my heart, a spot which should solely be for My Lord.
When I realised this, each time I thought of my ex-husband I would apologize to the Lord, ask Him to forgive me and start thanking Him for being there for me, for loving me, for being the Lord of my life. In the beginning, it was difficult, because I had to really take hold of each thought and bring it under submission and then repent of making my ex-husband king again. I went before the Lord many times, but after a few weeks, it began to get easier.
I was having a particular battle with letting go one day, when I got a breakthrough and the love I felt for the Lord just enfolded me—it was such an awesome experience! Not long after I received a phone call from my ex-husband... would you believe he said he was longing for ME? He said he called because he just wanted me to know.
Hmmmmmm... so of course - being me, I was confounded by the fact that just as soon as I had my full focus on the Lord, not on anything I wanted Him to do for me, like work on my husband's heart, etc. the Lord turned my ex-husband's heart and put it in his mind to call me.
It was then that the Lord gave me the following Bible verse in Jeremiah 15:19-21 "Therefore, thus says the LORD, 'If you return, then I will restore you. Before Me you will stand; and if you extract the precious from the worthless, You will become My spokesperson. They for their part may turn to you, But as for you, you must NOT turn to them. Then I will make you to this people fortified wall of bronze; and though they fight against you, they will not prevail over you; for I am with you to save you and deliver you', declares the LORD."
I noticed specifically the part which says "... They for their part may turn to you, but as for you, you must not turn to them." I had no idea what this could possibly mean, so I asked the Lord to show me. It was then that He gave a revelation ~ Not contacting my ex-husband did not mean I had let go because in my heart he was still very much in a place which was God's given place.
I had to remove my heart entirely from my husband. In other words, I was not to pray for him for peace, for protection, for joy and happiness or that his day would be a smooth path—I was only to pray that "God's Will be done in his life." In fact, the Lord encouraged me to pray for my ex-husband in tongues, that some call "praying in the Spirit," so that I would pray totally as God directed me.
At first, I thought it was rather harsh because we all want to carry/cover our loved-ones in prayer, especially for protection and to help make life easier for them. It wasn't until I realised how really powerful letting go completely is, that I could TRUST God and actually be happy with not contacting, not praying, not turning towards my husband for anything, but instead placing God in the exact spot that I finally allowed my ex-husband to be in.
Like you, I had read How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book and had made a point of praying specific verses for my husband every day. I had been under the belief that I should be praying for him, and I am sure that had I heard this revelation in the beginning of my Restoration Journey, I might have scorned it, but because Restoration is a Journey, I was at the point where the Lord was showing me a much more powerful method of following Him. The method, of course, is simply to pray "Thy Will be done" and to leave the outcome to HIM. Once I got the message, it all began to turn around and very quickly too. My ex-husband started to pursue me with zeal. I could see how God was working in his life and how he had started seeing God in his own life.
Because I needed to grow and keep moving forward as the Lord led me, the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book helped in the beginning of my journey to build and strengthen me (by praying those prayers which you will find) and to get me to the place where I was strong enough to let go. Then I was able to move from having to pray to steady me, to being able to move completely to the point of TRUSTING and praying "Thy will be Done!"
Whenever I had God in His rightful place, I would have to run to stay ahead of my ex-husband (I am putting it like this so that you can visualise what I am trying to say...) but any day that I put my ex-husband first and did not let go, I would slow to a crawl and still not find my ex-husband anywhere near me.
It was then that the power of letting go really became real to me. When pursuing God, not for His Hand, but just for His love and awesomeness, everything came together over and beyond anything that I could ever imagine. In fact, I have started the letting go principle in other areas in my life and guess what? Uh-huh... The same thing happens!
I will definitely continue to apply this principle of letting go in many different areas of my life. In other relationships within my family and beyond. In the areas of my finances, my work, my dreams, my children... I have seen that when I let go and give it ALL to God, then things begin to happen. When I don't try to make things happen or pray for them to happen as I want them to and just pray that God's Will be done, then I see answered prayer. But not just any answered prayer, answered prayer that was answered in a way beyond anything that I could have imagined. I first had to lay it all down at the feet of Jesus though, before any result was seen.
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"—1 John 1:9
I confess that I still need to let go of certain things in my life, things that I haven't given completely to My Lord. Sometimes it is difficult to not worry or fret about something, especially in the line of finances. I don't let go and let God. This definitely limits His ability to move on my behalf.
Now for my "Letter to the Lord." (Feel free to pray this with me.)
My darling Jesus. Thank you so much for wanting to free me from all my burdens. You long for me to let go and to let you deal with everything in my life and sometimes I can do that but at other times, I tend to think I can do a better job than You. I am sorry for not trusting You enough. I am willing to lay everything before You, at Your feet, but I really need Your help as I can't do it on my own. I love You Jesus and I thank you for all the many blessings You have in store for me each and every day. Amen.
Different Stages of "Letting Go"
What the Lord showed us is that at every step of marriage crisis you must "let go" to prevent your marriage crisis from going to the next stage of destruction. Read below to see where you are:
A wife whose husband is in the home, but is not coming home on time, must "let go" of trying to police him through curfews, "20 questions" or the "silent treatment."
A wife who finds out that her husband is involved with another woman must "let go" by not following him or confronting him but using this time as a "wake up call" or she will push him into leaving or divorcing her.
A wife whose husband leaves her (or asks her to leave) and she continues to hold on rather than "letting go" will find that her husband will push and pursue a divorce—hoping that this will stop his wife's pursuits.
A wife whose husband has divorced her, who continues to pursue, will soon marry the other woman.
An ex-wife who is clearly still interested in her ex-husband, rather than finally "letting go" will often see her former husband in a strong second marriage AND commonly find him wanting custody of their minor children!
HOW Can I LET GO?
"Please help!! I've tried letting go but I seem to want my husband even more!"
When we TRY to let go, the opposite happens—it actually makes us LONG for that person or thing even more!
The way God explained it to me is that when we are trying to diet, all we can think about is FOOD. That's because when something is removed, rather than being replaced, then the craving gets stronger.
What you need to do is simply INCREASE your time and longing for the Lord, then you will quite naturally let go slowly but surely!
The most powerful experience I had in falling IN LOVE with the Lord happened long after my marriage was restored. You may laugh but it was due to a song that I listened to that began this Restoration Journey—restoring the PASSION I had for the Lord when my husband was gone in 1989 that I realized I didn't have as strong. The song basically asked where was that person, me, who used to believe strong enough to walk on water and stand before Goliaths. I wanted that, and in the course understood it meant I needed more of the Lord in my life.
The way I did this was to ASK Him HOW I could gain this. The first time I had this passion was deep in adversity but was there a way to jumpstart it without adversity, which could easily mean it would last long after an adversity was gone (and they always DO go, it only feels it will never go).
The Lord used a preacher who came to our church and told the same story I had heard at least 3 times and I was frustrated, not wanting to hear it "again." But this time something clicked, and I realized in this story laid my answer. I began saying several times a day, "Lord, You're ALL I need, You're ALL I want, You're ALL I live for."
Trust me, I did not FEEL those words at all, but then something happened! All of a sudden I began to FEEL what I was saying. I began to feel that He was ALL I needed or wanted and who I wanted to live for!
I found I was "in love" with the Lord like never before! It was like when your first boyfriend shows up in your life, but a thousand times more wonderful!!! The Lord, whether we realize it or not, was and will always be our FIRST Love, with all those feelings, even if we "thought" we were in love before. When we experience Him, by saying this over and over and over again, you will never be able to explain to anyone (except women like us who have experienced the same thing) how it feels!!
"Lord, You're ALL I need
You're ALL I want,
You're ALL I live for."
More Testimonies for help with "Letting Go": "Christmas Love Songs" written by ~ Michele in California
“EH & OW Unhappy”
Jesus is the sweetest “thing” in this world. He is the only Lover who can satisfy us and He is the only Healer who can really heal the deepest wounds we don’t even know exist. Yesterday when i was falling asleep He reminded me another area He show Himself so strong and i still did not write about.
When i was in USA, I found out that my EH and OW went for luxury vacation to another country for 10 days. These 10 DAYS was a problem for me. Such a long time and only them. It was not really jealousy, because I do not really desire something similar in term of place nor company, but it was more about the time spent with their daughter what my son never got. And as i reminder of this vacation i had a magnetic souvenir of this place on the fridge, so anytime i went to take something from the fridge i saw the holiday. And my EH did not even try to hide it.
I was talking to my Beloved and i told Him, how can i possibly forget all these things and how and why would i want to have restore marriage if there is so many things I have to rise up above them? He is the Best of the Best ladies!! This time He told me that I am constantly on vacation with Him. He is the Lover of my soul. He is giving me and my son something nobody can ever give. No earthly person. This satisfied me and brought perfect peace and from that time whenever i went to open the fridge, i did it with love, compassion and even smile on my face knowing that they can go anywhere in the world, they will never find what they are looking for. Peace and harmony.
Another small test came when we all, with my PIL visiting, went for a trip to the city, to a place my EH was with OW before. Again, he did not try to hide. He talked openly about places he was. So he took all of us to the same places to have a breakfast. I was sure I am eating something that OW ate. And surely enough we even stayed in the same hotel. This time i was not bothered or sad by it, but i felt so bored. Nothing was exciting for me. Even though we been there only three days my heart was longing for quiet time in the sofa only me and my real Husband. As i was going through the places, watching some shows, even though everything was fulfilling for my eyes, my heart was empty. And i was talking to Him and telling Him about it. And you know ladies what my Beloved told me? This is what all EH and OW (not only mine) experience. They are rushing from thing to thing, from show to show to find something what will make them happy, help them to forget what kind of life they have...only to find out that this kind of lifestyle is making them more unhappy.
Through these small trials, i can see how deeply loved I really am. Because three words of my Beloved “I love you” can do instant miracle within me. Before i did not understand but now i can testify - these trials are not to harm me, these trials are to make me strong, unshakable for this world around me. But not only this. These trials are helping me to rush to the arms of the ONE where I can find everything what I so desire.
~ Amalia in Poland
Are you exhibiting strength and dignity—smiling at the future?
“Strength and dignity are her clothing and she smiles at the future.”
If you'd like to take a huge step forward along your Restoration Journey in order to let go, take a moment to read about having a more discreet BNN Profile Picture, along with your BNN, then setting up a new email address. CLICK HERE to learn more about the power of letting go AND the incredible FREEDOM using a new BNN GMAIL.
Honestly, Do the Principles in this Lesson Really Work?
"Your testimonies also are my delight; they are my counselors"— Psalm 119:24
Restored Marriage Testimony—
The Best Thing I've Ever Done!
Praise the Lord! Boy, is He the greatest! I never thought for a minute that my marriage was ever going to get better. Thanks to my Almighty Lord and Savior, He has shown me how to come to Him with my situation, “and I will help you and wipe those tears away from your face ... and replace them with smiles.”
My husband left me six months ago for another woman. He told me he loved her and no longer loved me. I was devastated and didn’t know what to do or who to turn to. I would call my husband every day begging for him to come back to me. I even called the OW every day asking her how she could do this to my family. Let me tell you all I did was make the situation a lot worse. I thank God every day for the help of restore ministries and for my now gentle and quiet spirit!
I didn’t want to let go of my husband but I had to. Yes, is caused much pain and there was the crying myself to sleep every night at first. I had to let go and give him and my situation to the Lord. So I did. I stopped calling him and begging him to come back because I realized that it only made me look weak and pathetic. I stopped calling the other woman like a fool because that only made their so-called “love" stronger. I LET GO!
It was the best thing that I have ever done for so many reasons. First I found myself my own Lover, His name is Jesus and boy did that change everything. It is more than six months since my husband called and begged to move back in with me! And I allowed Him only because my new Husband said so. I give all thanks to the Lord for this (and, of course, following the principles in your books)!
Please let go, whatever you do. Start there and keep pressing into Him. Keep your faith and focus on Him and stop being unfaithful to Him because then, all things are possible! I went from being devastated that my husband left me for another woman to being an even stronger wife to the Lord as His bride, which is what the Wise Woman is about. I give thanks to God for preparing me for my husband’s return because it wasn't easy. When he's right there it's easy to fall back into that same frame of mind. But that's exactly when he stops pursuing me and treating me well. It's when my husband treats me like the harlot I am, but not to him, but to the Lord.
Please just give it all to the Lord. Don’t give up and turn to the world's ways. Your husband WILL be back very soon if you're following these principles, so be ready. YOU will be stronger and happier than you ever imagined and you'll make room for your husband to pursue God if you've trained yourself to pursue Him and not your husband. Take care.
Carmen in Maryland, RESTORED
I Stopped Pursuing!
I don't know if it is the same with all women on this journey, but with me, although I was very clearly taught the principle of letting go since the first time I read the RYM book, I could not put it into practice immediately. When I first learned about all the awful truth last year's May, I used a mix of tough love principles with I don't know what else. That drew my husband farther away from me. After he went back in adulterous relationships, I tried to win him back with pursuing him even more, with my "undying unconditional love" for him, I even bought him tickets to come here to Brasil for 40 days, I practically had to beg him for that. Sure, we had a good time together those days, but at the moment he put his feet in the USA again, he started to run away from me again.
Then one day, when he was working during a weekend and I called him, I think, 30 times, he simply ignored me. That was when the Lord told me, dear Marta, my child, come to me, and only me. I will heal you, I will be there for you. And indeed He did and is doing until now. I stopped pursuing my husband, I would only talk with him when he started to talk or ask me to talk. I spent almost all my time at home and any free time I had at work, I would spend with the Lord, being fed by His Word, having His grace and mercy and love poured out on me, and letting my husband into God's care. I even stopped praying for him! I would just tell God to use me for His will and I would be happy with whatever outcome He would decide.
From that moment on, my husband's heart started to turn back to me, and it was quick! It has been 40 days now that my husband asked, I think a better word would be begged, to come back to me, and he is in a desperate need to come back home. I don't say anything about his problems there in the USA, I don't give him advice, I don't talk about the future, I let all of this in God's hands, and my husband started to make wonderful plans for the future here in Brasil. He even is considering trying to find some work here, something that he always said he would never do. So my walk with the Lord got stronger, and although now I need some balance because my husband is very demanding of my time, I am sure God will provide this too! 🙂
Marta in Brazil, RESTORED
"Will I Let Go"
by: Sabrina in Georgia
Will I let go of the pain, misery, and sorrow,
Or will I trust the Lord knowing
There’s hope for tomorrow?
Will I believe or will I keep being deceived?
Will I press on or will I just keep settling for less?
You see I have promises, blessings, and an abundant life
that my Father wants to give me
So I can’t keep focusing on my past hurts that are stopping me
From being where I need to be.
Will I let go of darkness somewhere
That’s holding onto me
Or will I choose life
Cuz God wants to set me free
Will you let go?
I will let go now Lord in my heart
Now I know there’s hope for you and me.
Please explain again…must I actually stop COMPLETELY stop praying for my husband in anyway…?? It just doesn’t sound right..please help me as I am now very very confused….
Mercia in South Africa
"Thus says the LORD, 'Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart turns away from the LORD.
“For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes, but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant.
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD and whose trust is the LORD. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit'"—Jeremiah 17:5-10
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight"—Proverbs 3:4-6
The Lord has led you to us, where we have ongoing and many fruits of restoration. No, it doesn't sound right, not the way Christians believe, but look at the fruits in the church, DIVORCE, and remarriage even more than the world.
You have been unfaithful to the LORD, right? He has not been first and you not letting go of praying for your husband, which BINDS and keeps you tied to him, proves who is still first.
“You have removed lover and friend far from me; My acquaintances are in darkness”—Psalm 88:18
“You have removed my acquaintances far from me; You have made me an object of loathing to them; I am shut up and cannot go out”—Psalm 88:8
“She will pursue her lovers, but she will not overtake them; and she will seek them, but will not find them. Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my first Husband, for it was better for me then than now!’”— Hosea 2:7
"The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes"—Proverbs 21:1
If you love Him, you trust Him and you don't fear what you have turned over to Him, which should have long ago been your husband.
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love"—1 John 4:18
The Message Bible says it this way:
"God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment, fear of rejection—is one not yet fully formed and has experienced His love"—1 John 4:18
To continue to pray for your lover, your earthly husband, means you are not only unfaithful to the Lord, who took your husband away and turned his heart from you, but to continue to do so means you are double-minded.
“But let him ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways”—James 1:6–8.
“I hate those who are double-minded, but I love Your law” —Psalm 119:113
Women who keep praying, keep their husbands in their heart.
PRAISE Restored Marriage
After She Let Go!!
Overcoming by the
Word of Their Testimony
"Restoration in Progress"
In July we got a PR that said:
My Dear Sister's, today I want to share with you something very personal and to tell the truth I struggled for several days to write this-but I felt I must share it with other women who come to this ministry, and today after reading one of the encouragers (from Connie Wednesday, 7/11/12, Daily Encourager)
I came to the understanding how important it is to share not only our progress, but also our "falls"—and how God helps us to stand back up afterward and move along our journey.
I hope that today's Encourager will help you understand that we cannot influence Restoration by our "fleshly" attempts. Instead, we should give EVERYTHING to God, as: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." (Jer. 29:11,12).
It is now 8 months since my husband has left me for the OW. We were living in Moscow at that time and wanted to take our daughter to live with us (she was with my parents in Ukraine). After he left I went to live in Ukraine.
At the very beginning when I decided to divorce my husband because he was unfaithful, God stopped me and when I did that's when I heard Him say in my heart, also He told me in my heart that He will restore my marriage. But without knowing any principles of restoration I made a lot of mistakes—I begged him to come back, wrote him 10 messages a day, cried over the telephone, then became so upset that he didn't change then I changed my tactic and told him he can forget about me and our daughter, he is not her father anymore. I even wrote to OW!! It was such a mess, both in my head and my actions.
Then, he came home at Christmas and assured me that everything will be fine, that he will be with us—but as soon as he went to Moscow he disappeared again. And again I started to call, write, even quote scriptures. Oh my!!!
It did not help of course, and only made me feel horrible.
But, after I came to your ministry I changed my heart and behavior completely. The turning point for me was after I had realized (with the help of the lessons in RRR 30 day course) that I should let him go!! Yes, it was hard, but I did it completely. Right away he noticed what I did. And, the more I was using the principles, the better I felt. That's when my husband began treating me much better. After his last visit I was so happy—it looked like restoration was just here. But...
During the last 5 months I tripped up and start thinking that I should move back to Moscow to be near him; I even wanted to take our daughter there. It looked like a very nice plan "he will be able to see us" (not live in a city 1700 km.away). So I decided to go alone and then maybe take my daughter..HOW WRONG I WAS!!! I am now 3 weeks here, living only 4 km from him and I have not see him—not a single time!! After coming here he called me twice and that was all!!!
I wrote this for that women who may be thinking that they can influence their restoration somehow—but when we do the worst happens. The only way we can is being with God, being obedient to Him and letting go.
"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." (Prov.3:5) I hope my mistakes that I confessed help each of you to do what you should. Let go, don't try to make your restoration happen or you will make mistakes.
Glory to God this lesson was so painful—as I know God let me live through it—to help me make the right conclusions and let go completely. And ladies, I prayed a lot about it. Once I let go God blessed me here with a job, finances (my husband began paying my bills here). But I needed to try to understand that I should stay calm and stay focused on the Lord. I am the kind of person that God knows that needed to allow me to live through this mistake for my good.
Now I am leaving and looking forward to go home to my little daughter. I realized that God will make my Restoration at His timing not mine. And ladies, our Lord DOES NOT NEED OUR HELP:) He needs us to remain faithful to Him.
In September Vika submitted another PR:
Hello Dear Sister's.
I am glad to be a member of this fellowship, and I pray for each of you who come here. I am happy that I have an opportunity to share with you what God is doing in my life!
Rude, presumptuous, always right and all-knowing is how I was for years. My behavior injured my family and my friends...I had never thought how people felt after my words to them.
I could not talk about something with my mom or my father without quarreling. I interrupted them and did not want to listen to them. And not long after all this happened to me is when I finally realized that something is wrong with me. It was through this I wanted to change. It laid heavily on me. I live with my parents now, and every day I was in tension. I could not find peace. I wanted just one thing—to live alone with my daughter.
And for the first time I started to pray to God to restore my relationships with my parents. I realized that running from the problem would not help.
As I prayed God showed me all the pain that my words caused my mom, all those sharp words, my terrible behavior. It was a turning point. Today my relationship is different. My attitude to my family is different. There are still some problems, but I believe God will finish what He started in this and other areas of my life. I thank Him for His Word, which teaches me and directs my steps. My big desire is to be a woman of gentle and quite spirit, to reflect God and His words in my everyday life. To be the light to the world, and that is my prayer.
If you are not right with your family, you need to get this restored first. Read and think of this verse, "Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee." (De.5:16) KJV "Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king. Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward." (1Pe.2:17,18) KJV
"Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation."
(Rom.13:1, 2) KJV
These verses are the keys to my understanding of God's will for the relationships in family, and not only. I realized how I dishonored God by violating His principles of how I am to be with everyone, especially my parents. Now I am so happy that we serve God Who is always ready to accept and forgive. He is full of Love, He is Love Himself. Let all the glory be to Him.
Finally in Mid October we received this:
Hello Dear Sister's,
I became so happy in my God and i knew for sure that He is all I need, that i will be happy with Him no matter what. So when my husband called me the previous week and told me he was going to come see us (me and my daughter)—I was sure that he was coming to divorce me. He visited us a months ago and always comes to see us once in a 2-3 months as he lives 1700 miles away.
I was not upset or afraid because I knew everything would be for my good. So I asked God for the only thing—to help me to stay calm and to be faithful to Him. He was all I wanted. And yes I made a plans for how i would react (according to the RMIEW principles I learned).
When I came from my work my husband was there waiting for me. As I entered the room he began to hug and kiss me.!!! He bought me new shoes, food, shoes for our daughter and a lot of things for the house!!! He start by saying that he thinks about us, wants us to come be with him, and on and on . . . And the biggest surprise is that we were intimate for the first time of 10 months. I was shocked!!! In a good way of course 🙂
And to my surprise, there was of course nothing about divorce that I was prepared for and wasn't planning to resist 🙂
I wrote this PR to share with each of you how great it is to let go completely and when you do how God's plans will unfold... not our plans but His—GLORY TO HIM ONLY! What this ministry keeps telling us is true, when the Lord is in His first place, everything will be given to us! I see this truth working in my life and pray that everyone of you will see it in your own life when you let go and make Him first!!!
~ Viki in the Ukraine, who is currently in our first Rebuilder’s Course.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." (Jer. 29:11,12)
Surely, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD." (Isa.55:8)
I wrote this for that woman who may be thinking that she can influence their restoration somehow. But the only way we can, is staying close to the Lord, being obedient to Him and to the principles of letting go and "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding"(Prov. 3:5)
"Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him." Isaiah 30:18 NASB
"and our enemies will be the members of our household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it." Matthew 10:36-39
By the Word of their Testimony
"And they OVERCAME him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death." Revelation 12:11
"They TRIUMPHED over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death." Revelation 12:11 NIV
"And they have DEFEATED him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die." Revelation 12:11 NLT
"And they have CONQUERED him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death." Revelation 12:11 ESV
“And they were VICTORIOUS by the blood of The Lamb and by the word of his testimony and they did not love their lives unto death." Revelation 12:11 ABPE
"They won the victory over him because of the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony. They didn't love their life so much that they REFUSED to give it up." Revelation 12:11 GWT
We've added a few excerpts from several Restored Marriage Testimonies to help you overcome this very difficult hurdle but is the most POWERFUL—mentioned more than any other principle in Restored Marriage Testimonies
Kaylie RESTORED “Each Blessing Took the Hate-Wall Down Brick by Brick”
“I have to say that letting go is really powerful…”
Janine RESTORED "He Remarried the OW"
“Of course I relented in my heart to accept His will for my life and about four months later my husband was free of the OW (no longer married) and contacted me again. He began by explaining that once I left him alone (and let go), he was able to feel the pain of the mistake he made and his horrible decision to marry the other woman (that he said he knew even before he married her). He told me when I kept chasing him, calling him and following his every move on FaceBook (before I closed my account) he thought marrying her would get me to leave him alone. What he didn't know was that it wasn't him getting married, but it was me denouncing my following the standers creed and finding my HH.
"Dear friend, for any of you who are afraid to let go, I mean really let go, please walk away from what you're holding on so tightly to and trust God. It's fear that's making you hold onto what God wants you to let go of. You need to be willing to want HIS will over your own, whether that's to let go and live as His bride or if it's to accept His will to live as the wife of an EH or FH like He asked me.”
Judie RESTORED "Once I was Able to Let Go"
“Once I was able to let go, my EH approached me often.”
Pinar RESTORED “The Freedom to Let Go”
“I realized the need to let go of my EH because my attitude only helped to keep him away. I stopped sending messages, controlling his schedules, and delivered them to my HH. I started to apply the principle of Winning Without Words and Kindness on the Tongue, I didn't complain and ask my EH for anything.
“The turning point of my restoration was when I read the chapter “The Freedom to Let Go” and truly understood this principle. Until that moment I hadn't yet stopped sending messages, controlling the time of his arrival at home, but when I studied this lesson I realized that I was not applying this principle correctly, because my EH was still the first one in my thoughts and in my heart. When I realized that I was being unfaithful to my HH, I started praying and asking the Lord to empty my heart of everything that was taking His place. I understood that I needed to stop praying for my EH because my EH was in control of everything. It was very difficult to stop praying for him, at first I felt a void, but soon after, that void was filled by my beloved HH. How lovely!! The more I looked for Him, the more He filled me with His love and brought peace to my heart. It was then that my EH started to act differently, started to show regret, and treat me with love.”
Manon RESTORED “I Told Him, No, I Wasn’t Able to Let Go of My Lover”
“letting go, winning without words, and being humble were the principles that touched me the most. In the beginning, I was constantly tormenting my EH with messages, I watched his every move but when I read about the principle of letting go, I immediately stopped everything. It was harder to let it go in my heart, but with God's grace and mercy, I did it. “as I let go, I just held on even more to my HH and gave myself wholly to Him.”
Miranda RESTORED "WIN Without Words"
“When you let go, that's when God comes in and changes everything and rewrites the story.”
Violeta RESTORED "I Took Off My Wedding Ring; It Bothered Him the Most"
“The principle that was hardest for me was to LET GO….When I read the truth, about letting go, and stopped pursuing, he really began to think I didn't care about him and he began pursuing me!”
Elda RESTORED "I Started Letting God Fight my Battles!"
I think the biggest thing is truly understanding that God is in control of every situation. I always needed to remind myself of Exodus 14:14. I started letting God fight my battles so I could remain calm and keep my eyes fixed on my Heavenly Husband.
Yes, I could tell I WAS close to being restored because the closer I kept getting to the Lord, the more my earthly husband wanted to be with me. It truly happens when you let go of everything and let God work.
Alana RESTORED “The Day the Ground Opened Up and Swallowed Me"
“The best thing about learning to let go is that in the same measure that we let our EH (earthly husband) go, the more of our HH (Heavenly Husband) we get and then we feel loved, valued and desired again!”
“The turning point for sure was when I let go in my heart. I was living with my HH (Heavenly Husband) fully satisfied and told Him that I was willing to live with Him if that was His will because if I could choose, I’d choose Him. So very shortly after that my EH (earthly husband) came home.”
Hanalen RESTORED "Back Home a Whole Month Earlier Thanks to Pandemic"
“The turning point came when I finally let go of my EH. ... Just as Erin and all the people at RMI say, when you fully let go, that’s when my HH decided it was time to start turning the tides (I just never expected it to be so soon).”
Belina RESTORED “Like All Feminists, I Complained Because He Didn't Help Me”
I let go of my EH (earthly husband) completely in my heart! I truly delivered it to the Lord. Soon I no longer cared about the restoration of my marriage! I cared about my restoration with my Lover only! I just wanted my Heavenly Husband, in short, because my relationship with Him was pure and true, He was mine and I was His, that was more than enough for me. If this is not how you feel dear sister then this is what is in the way of your restoration and your happiness.
Dear friend, He loves you! HE wants the best for you and your family! Many may say that their marriage is hopeless (I hear this a lot), but don't believe me, believe Him that YOUR MARRIAGE can be restored. YES! God can RESTORE your marriage!!!! Just trust! Shut up! Let go! Let go of everything that keeps you from the Lord! Say to the Lord, "You are my refuge and my strength, my God, in whom I trust". Psalm 91:2 "God is my salvation; I will have confidence and I will not fear. The Lord, yes, the Lord is my strength and my song; He is my salvation!" Isaiah 12:2 Say, "Even if I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I would fear no harm, because You are with me, Your rod and Your staff comfort me." Psalm 23:4
Joy RESTORED “It Was Me”
“I begged Him to help me let go completely...Putting the Lord FIRST in my life and heart, for so long, was something I didn't know just how to do it. My flesh was weak and even then, my heart was not willing. I learned to keep asking and praying to Him to help me let go of my EH and restoration. The process of letting go was one I continually have to learn throughout my RJ and especially now that I am restored...It happened the very next day, my EH asked me what I never imagined he would, not after our conversation the night before, before I finally let go. My EH was asking me to go with him to his family reunion!! Only the Lord!! He changed things in an instant!! The instant I was willing and able to finally let go of everything!!”
Lastly, one of the best ways to let go—by experiencing the love your Heavenly Husband.