Whoever slaps you on your right cheek,
Turn the other to him also.
When faced with divorce papers, which has become, for the most part, nothing about saving the marriage, but instead has become a financial and possession tug-of-war, most Christians try to give only what they believe is “fair,” or what they believe their spouse deserves—but this is unbiblical. It is not the way God treats us, nor is it the example Jesus gave us when He lived amongst mankind nor what taught us when He ministered here on earth. He said…
“You have heard that it was said, ‘an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you” (Matt. 5:38–42).
You cannot read this portion of Matthew and come to any other conclusion—we must give more than is asked of us. We are not to resist any evil done to us—but we must not stop there. We must turn the other cheek; give the coat when he asks for our shirt; and go beyond one mile—instead we must go two. And when your reward comes, it will (more than likely) not come from your spouse, but will, instead, come directly from God!!
When my husband told me he was divorcing me, he told me that he was leaving all our debt to me. Debt I knew nothing about and what came from his involvement with the OW. In addition, though we had young children, he emphatically and unashamedly told me that he did not want to pay any child support whatsoever. The first time I was so distraught when he said he wouldn’t pay, though praise God I didn’t fight it and the first time, he did pay out of conviction even though the court didn’t make him pay.
But, this time, rather than worry, I “enthusiastically” agreed to every one of his terms as he headed for his appointment with his attorney—but not before I gave him more than he asked for. Why? In order to follow the principle I just shared that Jesus taught us and this one in First Peter 3:8–9:
“To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.”
The only debt he said he was going to take was a car payment. We had two cars, one was paid for, and the other still had payments. So I offered to take the one with payments since that was all that was left to give that he didn’t already ask for. Several times he questioned me to be sure that was what I wanted to do, and then he happily agreed. I knew when he began that to agree to his terms was not enough, so as I was praying (while he was talking) to know what I could give as my extra mile, when, immediately, the car with the payments came to mind.
Shortly after my divorce that car was paid off and it has been such a blessing driving it because it reminds me of God’s goodness, faithfulness, and His love! Years later even my mechanic tells me this car is blessed and anointed, and seems to continue running supernaturally while it has become a classic other people admire. Yes, only by trusting God could this be true!!
As I mentioned, the first time my husband divorced me I was terrified at the thought of being an “accomplice” by signing the papers. But, since the terms of this divorce (the financial aspects) were so radical, as I said, my husband’s attorney explained that the judge would never grant it without my signing the papers.
When I signed the papers, I had no idea what my financial state was. I simply trusted God. I knew that whatever was ahead, He knew about it (even if I didn’t) and He would not only make a way through it, but the end would be a blessing!!
After I signed the papers, I realized that the amount of debt we had was really three times the amount that was stated in the divorce papers! From the time that my husband had become involved with the *AW our finances had begun to plummet that very month.
*I began referring to the OW as AW: The first time my husband having an OW hurt or “ouch” but this time due to the amount of His love I was able to feel, and knowing I was His bride, I was able to let go of fear and changed to calling her just “another woman” or AW.
Even though our church made a significant surge in new members and in donations early that year, a pile of personal and church debt began to incur! This is because this is a spiritual battle and His word tells us this:
“For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, and an adulteress hunts for the precious life” (Prov. 6:26).
Because I had never been involved with paying our bills, or any part of the financial side of our church, I had to become totally dependent on God to lead me to know how to pay back the debt to the church and also be able to pay the bills that we had, and wasn’t even sure if I knew what bills that had to be paid!!
Several times I got up in the middle of the night, when my children were asleep, so it would be quiet enough to seek God (and also so I was not interrupted), to begin to “seek and find” all the bills to get them into some sort of list, so I could get some sort of system to pay them.
My husband had a system all in his head; it was not in any organized fashioned, so I needed to search through our checkbooks (personal and church), search through our files (four drawers that were intermixed with other things he saved) to be able to even find all the bills so I could uncover all of our debt. To even know how to do this was a God thing! I really didn’t know where to even begin, and often was on the verge of tears due to frustration, not fear—and yet, when I called upon my Husband, He was always there to comfort and take over!!
He led me to simply make a list of everything: the total that was due, how much it needed to be paid each month, when it was due, and out of which account I should be paying it. The Lord gave me such amazing wisdom!!! God showed me many things: one huge revelation was that, many bills our family was paying, should have been paid by the church. By paying from the church account, it would, in the end, save us thousands of dollars in taxes, since our church is non-profit and doesn’t pay taxes, and the bills were for church related things.
—But this came only after God set me up to look like a fool, so He alone would get the glory!!
The first two bills I paid were tithes to our church, and the other was to begin to pay off a building project that we (as a couple) had pledged to our church. My husband was gone (he left to go be with the AW), so I went ahead and paid that week’s tithe, which caused us to be overdrawn in our personal account. The second one I paid out of the church account, that he told me, in anger, wiped out the donations we had received for a pledged project—he said the money was just not there and told me I was an idiot.
My husband was so angry that he kept telling our children that I was going to lose our house because I was so stupid. However, it was God who had set me up! Because of the accusations, I gained a greater dependence on the Lord to guide me and help me and to be my Lover. The results were incredible!!
God began to reveal so much financial wisdom to me, which totally blew my husband (and our children) away! Wisdom that could only be from God!! Rearranging who paid for each bill (church or family) was only the beginning. And, in addition, God surrounded me with favor wherever I turned— from that point on to the present!!
Favor like when we went to change the loan on the car into my name only (the one that I had used as my “extra mile” or as the “coat” He tells us to walk/give), the loan officer gave me a better rate, which dropped my monthly payments almost in half. My husband, who was there to sign the debt over to me, heard this and was shocked when the loan officer went onto say that I had a better credit rating than my husband did—only God could do that because I hadn’t worked outside the home for years!!!
Then, the Lord took that incident to a higher blessing, when I was led to ask about rounding the payments up to be an even number, which I said would make it easier to write out the check each month, to which the loan officer stated would be fantastic, and said that it meant I would be paying more on the principal and it would be paid off almost a year earlier. This question totally baffled my husband because he knows I am a fool when it comes to financial issues! God got the glory!
1 Corinthians 1:27 (KJV)—“But God hath chosen the foolish of the world to confound the wise.”
1 Corinthians 1:27—“but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong.”
When we were ready to transfer the title of the car, God set me up once again. The clerk we got ended up being a member of our church, who of course knew us (but not what was going on), and who ended up giving me favor again! Instead of it costing the $800 that it was supposed to cost to transfer the title, this woman wrote it up so it would cost me nothing!! Then she went even further and gave me two new license plates (one of our plates had been lost) and helped me pay for two years instead of one! Again, as I walked out—God got the glory!!
This happened over and over again over the next several weeks. Time after time the Lord would give me wisdom and surround me with favor! And it only got better after the divorce was final!! God was showing me, my husband, my children, and everyone else, how much He loved me (by how He kept blessing me) and that I truly was His bride and He was my Husband. Dear Reader, the same will happen to you when you accept the Lord’s proposal and become His bride ladies.
“For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the LORD of hosts; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth” (Is. 54:5).
But you must expect trials and more debt when you trust the Lord to provide! During these same days, while awaiting the final divorce decree, my car turned up with a “check engine” light coming on (not good). And once again, because of my “enthusiastic” giving to my husband, he offered to take the car in for me so I could keep my date with my children to go to a water park. Walking out these principles work dear reader!!
When my husband called he said that the mechanic found that I needed some servicing done, but that I did not need a repair (praise the Lord!). So my husband asked me what I wanted to do (he knew that I was in utter financial ruin and had no money to pay for anything). Though I had a “twinge” of fear that pricked my heart, I quickly sent up a “flair prayer” while he was explaining about the servicing needed (that I didn’t understand anyway!). God reminded me that He was my Husband now, and of course—He would pay for anything that I needed!
So I quickly answered, “Go ahead!” to everything that needed servicing (since my husband had been involved with the AW for months, and our finances were plummeting months, so he had to neglect things, like keeping the car serviced). Though he hesitated he said, “Okay” but I could tell again he thought I was making a huge mistake.
A few hours later, my husband called to tell me “some amazing news!” He said that the manufacturer of my car now provided a new service plan for cars built the year mine was built and the years prior, and that it would always be the same fee each time I had it serviced—no matter what was needed!! Not only was I shocked, so was my husband, whose car (the one that was paid for) just missed this new service plan. Ladies, this again is God!!
Our beloved Husband actually looks for opportunities to remind us (and even our earthly husbands or ex-husbands) that He is able to provide all of our needs!!! Don’t miss an opportunity to turn to your new Husband when a need arises so that you don’t miss any blessing!
And men, God says He is your provider too! You need to get a hold of this since too many men think they need to work hard in order to provide for their families. If you are in financial ruin, first be sure you are not in adultery, since this is ultimately the source of most financial ruin. This goes for pornography too since Jesus said clearly this is adultery in Matthew 5:28 “but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Men, if your heart is clear, then claim this verse so that God will provide everything you, your wife, and your children need:
Psalm 127:2 says clearly, “It is vain for you to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors; for He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.”
And Psalm 37:25 says, “I have been young and now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his descendants begging bread.”
If you are struggling financially it is either due to adultery, another sin, OR because you are trying to provide yourself, not looking to God to do it for you. And God wants to go beyond to supplying needs, but to shower you with blessings!
One of my absolute favorite blessings was how He blessed me with a new wedding ring, which is in the next chapter. But before I share that awesome testimony with you, let me share one more very important principle.
If you are ready to make a commitment to GOD to finish the course, by CLICKING on your JOURNAL you've agreed, and are ready to document this next step along your Restoration Journey in your "My Daily Journal" form. Take your time, sit down, grab your coffee or tea, and pour your heart into your Journal.
As an “Older women likewise…teaching what is good, that they may ENCOURAGE the young women…” (Titus 2:3) you will have the opportunity to speak to the younger women who are still single as part of your ministry.