INTIMACY while still Married
Intimacy in marriage is important and something you need to fully understand. Due to the world making up its own rules, and then teaching and indoctrinating them into our minds through media, we are suffering greatly. Remember, this is why your husband has been tempted and succumb to his sin. The only way to help him out and find true restoration is to know and follow HIS word, renewing your mind, replacing lies with the truth.
1. If your husband consents to remain with you (which is going to happen if you follow the principles of not resisting divorce and find that Love of your life), you must not send him away, but consent to live with him.
1 Corinthians 7 verse 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.
2. While you are still legally married (whether you are separated or not and whether or not he is involved with someone else), the Bible says, God says, you must continue to be intimate at your husband's request.
1 Corinthians 7 verse 4 The wife does NOT have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
1 Corinthians 7 verse 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time.
3. ONLY if God chooses to allow a divorce to go through is when you must refrain from intimacy afterwards. But if you are still married, it is important that you remain intimate. In Erin's testimony, this is one of the key components that her husband said made him realize his mistake, turn back to the Lord and come home.
Erin remained intimate even though her husband was living with the other women. If people knew, no doubt they would have warned her about being "used" and also about contracting a STD. However, she was trusting the Lord who told her that IF she was going to contract something, it would have happened before she even knew her husband had been unfaithful to her!
Then when God allowed Erin's divorce to go through, she told her husband they could not be intimate, not even kissing since it was difficult for her (since he had someone to go home to and she, of course, didn't). After her husband was back home, he said (like many men would also) that remaining intimate had a huge effect on him, and so did not having it after he divorced, which is what made him long even more for Erin.
This means that God's plan may be to allow the divorce (which is why we also say not to get in the way of it Psalm 1:1 or try to slow it down). Like with many men, it very well may be the lack of intimacy that your husband had previously enjoyed with you as his wife, that leads him to see his mistake. It can be extremely hard to lose intimacy when many husbands realize their mistakes and will plead to get their wife back.
And NEVER discuss this with your husband either. Don't quote scripture, and don't share anything that he would deem some sort of plan to get him back. You should NOT be trying to get your husband back, instead, you simply need to LEARN and apply the principles we were never taught to get our marriage and lives back on track.
Restoration only takes place when you know and follow these verses (above). To sum up:
1. While you are still married you need to remain intimate (or regain intimacy) at your husband's request. Don't try to seduce him, but instead be a loving, understanding, quiet and gentle wife, which will naturally lead to intimacy.
2. Next, should your husband divorce you, (which you should not stand in the way of), you then MUST refrain from intimacy afterwards.
* If you do, a proposal will soon follow. We have seen it countless times.
3. Never leave your husband or withhold intimacy, which can happen once he wants you back and you have since found the Lord and He becomes the love of your life.
1 Corinthians 7 verse 10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband.
4. Also understand that once you are free from fear and possibly free from your marriage, you are never free to remarry. Your only choice for marriage is to be reconciled to your husband, which we strongly suggest you allow God to do if you have minor-aged children from this marriage.
1 Corinthians 7 verse 11 she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband.
God's given you a HUGE advantage, take it and run with it!
“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win”— 1 Corinthians 9:24