Never Legally Married
but first 3 TESTIMONIES!
Marriage Restored AFTER a Divorce!!!!
I had to e-mail you and tell you that my husband and I were remarried last Friday!! NEW RINGS and everything!!!!!
Glory to our God Who ALWAYS leads us to triumph in Christ Jesus! Our God is able to deliver us from the jaws of the lion; I am fully persuaded that our God is able to do that which He has promised!
Thank you for your daily encouragement and for the wisdom and counsel of God that you have sown into our lives through all your books, videos, website fellowship and the preparation that you have shared through the Word and your testimony to prepare me for the days ahead. I am excitedly experiencing and expecting that the latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former! Our God is a restorer of more than all we had before. God bless Restore Ministries richly! Our God is truly a Restorer of the ruins, a Repairer of the devastation of our generations!
~Faith* in Nebraska, RESTORED
Marriage Restored After 5-Month Separation!
Thank you so much for being obedient and starting this ministry. It has truly helped me. All praises go to God our Father — my marriage was restored after only 5 months of separation!!! I put my wedding rings back on after I read the significance of them, but this time with the right focus of who I needed to focus on, Jesus!!!
Soon after completely letting go and making the Lord first, my husband called at 1 a.m., asking if I would have the garage door open, because he was on his way home!!!! It worked because now I am trusting God and applying the principles that I learned in all your books and videos!!!!
Thank you so much!!!!
~Kitty* in Wisconsin, RESTORED
Amazing Successes to Restoration and Thereafter!
I was desperate for years before finding Restore Ministries — since 1995. I found you through another ministry that listed RMI as an alternative. I learned and read and reread "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage." I realized that I had dishonored God by how my husband and our family was first. I was a true hypocrite because I was not a true lover of the Lord. That’s when I began to shut up. I wrote letters to all the people I had talked to and told them my own shortcomings and sins (not my husband because I knew my first love needed to be God and not impressing my husband). Instead of how I tore him down behind his back, I began to build my husband up in our daughter's eyes, and to encourage her to love her dad unconditionally.
I learned that all I ever needed was Jesus Christ. I also learned what a treasure my husband and family truly are (that God had given me, which I began to worship over the Lord). How true that you can win the whole world, but if the Lord is not first, then your family is not with you, it is a hollow fake existence.
Mostly, I realized not to deride nor ask questions of my husband and the reason was that it didn’t matter. I learned, through prayer, that God turned the situation the way He did to change me to wanting Him more. What a surprise that I did not have to beg, nor did I have to threaten, nor did I have to scream as I had been doing. I had to let go, be kind to everyone and pray (just talking and listening to God a LOT). There were very serious changes to make in me and God is still making serious life changes in me. Truthfully, I still have a long way to go.
As I started to change and my heart was clearly for Him, God turned the situation around. After my husband came back home, I had to visit the places and do the things he had done with her (the OW). I still was dying on the inside. It was very painful. Had I not had Be Encouraged videos, I would have cracked under the pressure.
I still have the videos, but most I have passed along to help other women (I began helping others which I believe had a lot to do with and when things changed in my relationships). A "Wise Woman Builds Her House" workbook just found a new home two weeks ago with a woman who was tearing her house down. All of these resources were so needed by others! The videos and "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" were vital to my restoration. My advice — "Get as much as you can!"
My husband has been home a little over a year now. It has been very difficult because the tests are harder and why He had to refine me as He did. Ladies, do not give up. I praise God because my husband sleeps with his arms around me and holds my hands and constantly says he loves me. I praise God because there was a time when he never said those things. And the more I fall in love with the Lord, the more loving and affectionate my husband is to me just as Erin said he would.
Here is another exciting detail — I have been married for 25 years now and I used to beg my husband to read the Word of God with me. After I fell in love with the Lord, I saw it happening to him!! He now wakes me up sometimes, and often insists on reading the Bible and praying with me. Now we read and pray every morning since October!!! He reads and explains the Word to me, and then seven months later (after I stopped going to church) the Lord led my husband to church!! He has been going now one year!!! I give all of the glory to God. I can only thank God.
~Kelly in New York, RESTORED
You were never
And Now More than Ever
You Feel Very Much Alone!
Maybe he said he doesn't love you, or you've found out he's involved with another woman or something else that may be even more devastating. Yet...
No matter How you Feel—
You must Praise God!
Even though you don't feel like it, did you know there is a book and ministry based solely on how our lives can turn around in an instant if we praise God for even for difficult and horrible things?
Now let me share something that's easy to PRAISE GOD for—you are actually in a MUCH, much better place than 99.9% of the women who come to our ministry—women who are legally married!!!
That means—Where you are is a GREAT place to be!
Though you would rather your boyfriend or fiancé was still living with you, his absence is going to give you more time to spend ALONE with the Lord. It also gives you time to STUDY so that your mind can be renewed.
Something else that is very important—separation gives your relationship time to HEAL. Healing is very, very important for a relationship—it's vital.
This is why we encourage women whose husbands have left or those whose husbands have asked them to leave NOT to contact their husbands.
If you want your relationship to HEAL, do NOT contact your boyfriend or fiancé.
Though there will be MANY reasons why you "feel" you must contact him via an email, a text, a short phone call, or even sending a message through someone else (like your child, friend, coworker or family member)— if you give in to the temptation it is like picking a scab!
A scab that is picked bleeds more and leaves a scar, which basically means your boyfriend or fiancé or father of your children will be left with a bad memory that is never forgotten.
Take this time of separation to study, read, and sit in the presence of the Lord so He can heal you and transform you.
God has given you a HUGE advantage, take it and run with it!
“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win”— 1 Corinthians 9:24
Here's another Blessing!
Though we realize you want to restore your relationship AND maybe even get married, you are the only group of women who still have a CHOICE.
So many married women tell us that they WISH and would LOVE to have the freedom to “move on” to someone else. But these women are in a legal contract that they made, that more importantly, God was witness to. This binding contract was ordained for their protection, and what prevents them from moving on. BECAUSE, for them to move on is adultery. As God explains in this verse:
“So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man”—Romans 7:3
The truth is, when women marry a second, a third or more times, God views them ALL as adultery. And adultery comes with long list of consequences that women suffer from and are forced to live with (and men will live with too) for the rest of their lives!
“Behold, I will throw her on a bed of sickness, and those who commit adultery with her into great tribulation, unless they repent of her deeds”—Revelation 2:22
If you were once married and were once living with this most recent guy, there is good news! Now that you are no longer living together, you no longer are an adulteress!! You no longer will suffer from the consequences that you once were subject to!
However, the main reason for explaining the consequences of adultery to you is to help you understand that when you marry there is a lot at stake. What it means is that marriage has to be entered into with the understanding that there is NO plan B.
No matter what happens, once you legally marry, you are NEVER free to move on and marry a new husband. Of course, many do, many remarry and marry many times, but they also live with the consequences. No matter whether they hide previous marriages or not, the consequences of adultery are there.
That’s why we are excited to say that you are in a better place than 99.9% of the women who come to our ministry who ARE or were legally married!!!
You actually have the FREEDOM to walk away from your current relationship and start FRESH and NEW!
NO, not to run off to find just ANY new guy, but to stop long enough to LEARN and STUDY and SAVE yourself for your future husband—the man who wants to commit to your relationship so you are protected both legally and spiritually.
Our goal is to make sure that you become such a prize that you will have YOUR pick of the best—the BEST could easily be the guy you were coming here to restore your relationship with!! God loves to give us the desires of our hearts!
"Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart"—Psalm 37:4
The key to getting the desires of your heart, as you can see in this verse, is when you delight yourself in the LORD. Make sure you don't miss this point since sadly so many women do and that's when they find themselves chasing men who use and abuse them. You deserve more!!!
We want to encourage you to focus on realizing just how special YOU are and that means —you should NEVER SETTLE for someone who is not good enough to deserve you!
And no matter what any of us has done in our past, His blood can cover all of our sins when we simply ask Him to forgive us. AND even more amazingly, He wants to use our sins to our advantage!
God has told us, “Speak kindly...And call out to her, that her warfare has ended, that her iniquity has been removed, that she has received of the LORD’S hand double for all her sins”—Isaiah 40:2
BUT this blessing will only happen IF you are willing to enter that narrow gate we have uncovered for you. To follow the Restoration Journey that we ask each and EVERY woman to do no matter if women are legally married, are already separated or even divorced.
"For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it"—Matthew 7:14
NEW BUT FATAL SOCIAL TRENDS
Women are running away from getting married. Some believe they don't want to be married while others simply choose to live together because the boyfriend doesn't want to get married.
This is one of the fastest growing trends in our society, which also has many catastrophic results. Though what has just happened to you seems like something really horrible, God is going to use it for GOOD!!
Like adultery, living as though one was legally married has many devastating affects—ALL that seem to fall on the WOMAN—and none on the man! Have you noticed that?
Basically when you live as though you were married, but without being legally married, it removes the built in PROTECTION afforded to women who ARE legally married.
Even though our ministry always centers our focus on the spiritual side of everything, very often we can see "in the natural" the same principles and their consequences.
For the most part, the built in protection you are NOT getting legally (by not being legally married), you are also NOT getting spiritually.
Let me give you an example to help you understand it a bit better. In small claims court in the U.S. today, the majority of lawsuits are filed by WOMEN who are looking for help or justice when her “partner” or live in boyfriend or fiancé takes advantage of her.
UNFORTUNATELY, in almost ALL cases the man walks out without having to pay any sort of restitution! It is because there is nothing legally binding and NO laws to hold him accountable to make him do what is right!!! Our laws to protect women are set up ONLY when a marriage becomes a legally binding “contract.”
Though we do not advocate or encourage, AND actually strongly discourage women from using the court system to bring about justice for her, we want to use it as a comparison. We found out this is WHY we saw so many relationships NOT improve with so many women—women who we later found out were NOT legally married. This is what led us to begin ASKING if women were "legally" married in our questionnaire and this lesson was written.
Though we also strongly believe that marriage should not be thought of as a legal contract, but as a heart condition, we know from years of intensely studying God’s Word that He set up laws, spiritual laws, that have the same effect, good and bad, when we choose to follow them or ignore them.
The laws in our country were set up in order to protect and bless those who choose to follow them. The same laws that people either choose to break or ignore (often due to not knowing about them), will cause catastrophic results.
The TRUTH is what will set YOU FREE!
Here is an amazing promise that we want you to embrace.
“If you continue in My Word...you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free”—John 8:31-32
Enter Through the Narrow Gate
Now it's time to for you to LIVE the TRUTH in order to fit through that Narrow Gate that is going to lead to your restoration!!
When going through Marriage Evaluations one thing that we see in women who were never legally married is that they call their partner their husband and their relationship a marriage.
Does it really matter?
Well, YES. In order to enter through the Narrow Road that leads to life and your restoration, it is very important that you begin to speak and write and think ONLY what is true.
Don’t say or pretend you are or were married. Because...
• You don’t deserve to have an imitation or invalid marriage. You deserve a wedding and a real wedding ring and a man who will be so worried about losing you he will hurry to the altar to marry you!
• You deserve a man who will appreciate you and treat you like the princess that you are!
• You deserve God’s protection and the "court's protection" the next time you enter into a loving and lasting relationship!
• You need to enter through the Narrow Gate to find the Restoration God wants to give you!!
1. Give God, and give yourself TIME for a spiritual makeover!
2. God wants to raise the bar so not just any guy will have the opportunity or will be able to measure up to eventually win your hand in marriage— AND to treat you like the princess God wants to make you into!!
So, take this time to study, read, and sit in the presence of the Lord so He can heal you and transform you.
REMEMBER what we said—God's given you a HUGE advantage, take it and run with it!
“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win”— 1 Corinthians 9:24