Arminda, how did your restoration begin?
I had what I thought was the perfect marriage. There were no arguments, no yelling, no nothing. Actually we didn't have time for that. I was too busy working outside the house. Plus the activities at home. You can imagine.
Suddenly I lost my job and felt my whole world had fallen apart with it. I felt all the responsibility of supporting my child (Who had an accident when she was 1 year old and has cerebral palsy as a result) financially and physically with her therapies, never taking into consideration that I had a husband. For some reasons, I couldn't count on him. Then he took advantage to tell me that I should visit my parents (Who live in another state) and so I did. I was supposed to stay there for a few weeks that became months. Just to come back and be surprised when my EH told me that he had met someone else, fallen in love with her and that he was leaving me. There are no words to describe the pain, shame and all kind of hurt feelings I suffered. And as most of you, I followed different advice from well-intended people such as my pastor, my parents, parents in law, etc, etc, etc. That only made things worse. All I wanted was the pain to go away, but nothing seemed to work until I met God in a way that I never had done it before because it's worth to mention that we were Christians, born in christian homes, both of us. My EH was the worshiping leader of our church, and I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw him acting like a complete stranger.
Around two months after my EH left, I have a friend who invited me to his church and gave a prophecy there and then prayed for me and a prophet told me that God was going to take me on a “trip” that I had very much desired. I cried because I was moved because the trip spoke to me. I thought the trip was one I had imagined hypothetically to go to some exotic island, but I never Imagined that He was telling me about my trip being a Restoration Journey. I knew the next day I went to my workplace and got on the computer and type the word “restoration” and instantly a site appeared, and I didn’t even know how I got on to find the RMI, but then, of course, I knew this was the trip that the prophet told me about. I cried and cried to see God's answer to my prayers and more than once I started reading the book How God can and will Restore your Marriage in Spanish. I think I read it in a couple of days and then later I started to apply the biblical principles that were set out there, and I could see these really working!
How did God change your situation as you Sought Him wholeheartedly?
As I read and apply the biblical principles, God began moving in my situation. First, He was changing me and changing the heart of my EH by tearing down the wall of hatred that my EH had towards me and my EH was softening his heart towards our girls (which happened first and then toward me), which was when he started to take care of us financially.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial?
They were both principles that I knew. But first I needed to really understand about unconditional love of God towards me and next that we are called to love in the same way that He loves us, and to also forgive the way that He forgives us. Also to cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit, which is highly esteemed before Him. I learned to value my EH and to be grateful for what he had done for me. Since I had not known anything about appreciating a husband, and to value him, and it is with shame admit that I had underestimated what he’d done for us.
Later I also learned my mistakes, believing women should be independent, having a profession and working outside the home to have our own money. Like most women I thought it would mean I could spend on what I wanted and to give to others without having to give an explanation to anyone. And this meant leaving my two girls in the care of others.
I also learned that I'm not one to control my body and that I should not decide how many children I wanted. I trusted an IUD contraceptive device before rediscovering it is God who closes and opens the womb as He wishes, and when we are blessed with a child we should never worry about the obstacles that we think a new baby will bring us in any way, much less in economic concerns, which if given, certainly He will give to us to be able to support a blessing He gave us!
And also to understand the principle that man is the head of women in all aspects, also as the spiritual head, and that by me to keep hoping in God that my EH will soon take his rightful place as spiritual leader of our family, for which I have now given way.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through?
The most difficult moment for me was when my EH came home first and then left only after 15 days, so I went back to questioning what was going on because this happened. His leaving again meant reopening wounds, being rejected again, and again being abandoned. But every time I had already advanced more in my restoration and more importantly with my beloved HH. His grace alone could support me.
What was the "turning point" of your restoration?
Like all other women that you tell that indeed comes a point that we have no need for any other person to survive, and we realize that we do not need more than what He’s already given you— that all you want and need is to please your HH. And in truth He becomes everything for you, He's the only One who can fill any void that is in your life. It is then when you experience indescribable peace. Peace you get to experience only when you feel the protection of the Almighty on your life and know that no one can touch you if He does not allow it, and when they do, He will provided each and every time that this happens— whatever trial, it always turns out for our good. Is that with HIM we have nothing to lose, because everything is win win with Him. And without a doubt the unspeakable joy that is experienced with having a loved One like Him—with the Lover of our soul. No one will ever be able to love the way He does.
Tell us how it happened? Did your husband just walk in the front door?
In my case, the confirmation of the news came from enemy’s hands. One day early in the morning in my sleep, the doorbell rang and I did not even want to open it. My sister and brother were visiting at our home and thought it was a cousin of my brother who had come to see us, so I asked my brother who opened the door and to my surprise, it was my EH who entered my bedroom and asked me to borrow the car keys to pick up some of his things (I imagined me, because that had happened the previous times it was to collect his belongings from the house where he lived with the OW). I said yes and he went and told me that if I would not take the car that day would it be okay for him to take the car to work, and so he did.
I told my sister that the Lord had done it and she couldn't believe it, My sister still was afraid that I made a mistake, but I did not want to comment, but being wise I left it to my beloved HH. Suddenly I received a message from the OW attacking my faith, but at the same time confirming me that he had left her! My sister, my brother in law and I started to shout of victory and praise the Lord for what He had done. It did not take long to confirm our restoration via the message I got from the OW where she confirmed their separation, of course she launched hateful words to shake my faith, but I knew He was confirming something that my earthly husband had said. Most importantly, though there had been rumors, God faithfully closed the womb of the OW and she was not pregnant.
This time, my EH's return was gradual. He said he preferred to leave his things at my in-laws, invited us to go out that night, and then asked if he could come home. He asked permission to stay more than one night. He told me that he loved us so much (meaning me and our daughters), that something was stronger than him, and then asked me if I would accept him the way he was now, and I said yes. I told the Lord that He was all I wanted or needed and since then he’s been home a full nine months.
Did you suspect or Could you tell You Were Being close to restored?
In fact it was my EH who asked me to pray for him that God would deliver him from where he was trapped and that God would return to his family. So yes, I sensed it was close.
Would you recommend any of our resource in particularly that Helped you?
All RMI resources were vital in my journey of restoration and are up to today. Restore your Marriage, A Wise Woman, Word of Their Testimony, Devotionals, Encourager, and Be Encouraged eVideos. But thanks to my beloved HH opening doors for me, I was able take the RRR online courses watch the Be Encouraged eVideos with Spanish subtitles.
I also loved the Question and Answers book, and to get ready for my husband to return, workers@home. Actually all the resources that are available here are so helpful, indeed they are an invaluable aid.
God, may You always bless the life and ministry of Erin, and all those women whose praise reports encouraged me!!!
Do you have favorite Bible verses that you 'would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?
“That they may know that this is Your hand—
That You, Lord, have done it!”
"It was not with their swords that they took possession of the land. They did not gain victory with their own strength. It was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your presence that did it, because you were pleased with them." Psalm 44:3
My beloved HH gave me this verse because it’s the truth that only HE could do this. Too often I began to think that I was doing so much, for all the humiliation that I was going through, for all that I had endured, restoration was my reward, but the truth is that I do not deserve all that God, my Lord, my Savior has given me. It is not for what I have done, but according to the good pleasure of His will. Just as salvation is undeserved, I do not deserve what God has given to me and anything I could have lost is nothing as compared to the eternal bliss of having met the Man that I now know today. My HH.
Would you be interested in helping Encourage other women?
What kind of encouragement would you like to leave Women with in conclusion?
As for me, I’d like to encouraged you and let you know what I held onto, and that was to remind myself whenever a situation that threatened my stability (stability I've found at RMI by finding my HH) that when anything difficult arises, is to know how much God loves you. That HE is the One in control of everything, not man, and when He allows any circumstances that may be contrary to our eyes or is devastating, that HE has a way to turn them into blessing. So when something bad happens to you, like it happened to me, that you can be glad and excited, thinking that something good is going to come out of whatever difficult thing happens— and be aware that difficult things will happen.
Women, I would encourage you and let you know that God will restore your marriages, but the truth is that for it to happen, restoration needs to be secondary, and then it will happen. Today I invite you to bathe in the Love of the Lord, to rejoice in Him and believe that His Word does not lie. Delight also in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. And when you are going through and living a sorrowful or painful life— expect that something amazing is going to happen. Your best days are living day-to-day with our Beloved, the Lover of our souls, because the truth is THIS is what matters most. All glory and honor and the honor to our precious HH for ever and ever!
~ Arminda in Mexico