Almara, how did your restoration actually begin?
My journey began around 2 months ago after my husband decided to leave. One morning he left for work and he just did not come back. During this period, I heard the same thing from everyone— that I should not take my husband if he tried to come home, much less attempt any sort of reconciliation. But I was convinced that this was not what I wanted and despite the pain that I felt, intense pain at being abandoned, I tried to find something to give me the strength to believe for a miracle. That's when I met RMI and my life changed forever!
How did God change your situation Almara as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
Through the lessons I was given after filling out the evaluation, I could finally see what had cause of our marriage to be destroyed. It wasn't due to his abandonment but on account of my contentious and selfish behavior that drove him away. I was very demanding of my husband, not respecting his limitations and never accepting his opinion on anything. At that moment I repented and asked Him to change me.
I prayed every day and leaned on the faith He gave me by reading the testimonies of others who had gone before me and accepting the fact that I could or should not do anything to try to bring my husband back. Do nothing except to wait on God. And so, I did.
Each time I'd become weary, or times when I fell, I was supported by the Word and especially in the verse James 1: 5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, ask of God, who gives freely to all with great joy."
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Almara, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
The faith dictated in the Bible in numerous passages was the most important principle that I adopted in my journey of restoration. Thank God for RMI who showed me the power of writing down verses and carrying them with me! Along with the verses on faith, the other important thing that He taught me were all the verses telling us as wives that we must be submissive to our husbands out of respect for God. I understood that it was not self-denial, but respect, and I got rid of my pride and arrogance, an attitude which made me superior to my husband since I had more financial resources than he. That had been my reason that he should not have a say and why I didn't believe I needed to accept or abide by his decisions. Through the Word, I came to understand how foolish I was and learned that I should act meekly, with a gentle and quiet spirit.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Almara?
The most difficult moments came at night when I felt the deep loneliness, longing for my husband and the moments when I wanted to do something in the flesh to get closer to my restoration. It was in these moments that I realized that the loneliness I felt was in fact lack of faith since when addressing the Lord— there He was, and never once had He left me alone. As I asked Him to feel Him more, I was introduced to the concept of a HH and eagerly took the Finding the Abundant Life Course and Living the Abundant Life Course courses (I'm on Moving Mountains at present).
Once I had my HH, He taught me that through faith everything happens. When I thought there were no changes, or I could not succeed on this difficult journey, He’d say, “Almara, just ask Me for wisdom” and almost like a magic spell, minutes later, I would receive an email from my husband, giving me the confidence that I should believe in things I did not see, and never to lean on anything I saw. My faith was growing and today I know that, as Erin says, nothing is impossible with God.
Almara, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point was when I decided that I would be putting Him first, making Him my First Love! Focusing on Him and Him alone. I came to the place I read often in many of the RMTs; I began not really wanting my marriage restored. But then, as so many did, surrendering just like my HH surrendered to His Father saying, "Not my will but Yours be done."
Shortly after this, one morning, I felt it important to send an email to my husband (since we did not see or keep in touch) and humbly showed him that I recognized my mistakes, that I understood why he was filing for divorce, and ask him for forgiveness. I also mentioned that if he did not forgive me I would understand, but that he should follow his life seeking God, regardless of our marriage. I was hesitant because I didn't want to get ahead of the Lord, so I asked Him to show me this was His plan. That's when remembered that I had neglected to reply with a gentle answer when he'd written to me about filing for divorce. So, I obeyed and sent it.
Tell us HOW it happened Almara? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Almara, did you suspect, or could you tell you were close to being restored?
Once again, I just have to give RMI my thanks and say—God is wonderful! My marriage, as promised, has been restored. My husband has been at home for 3 months now. And from the moment he came back, he continually says that he loves me and regrets everything that has happened. To my surprise, he acknowledges that despite the sufferings we experienced, it was necessary because we now approach God together! He says we finally we see our behavioral errors and the deviation of the Divine purpose for marriage.
My earthly husband was shocked by how much I’d changed and this I owe to the faithful following of the RMI guidelines and the faith that I gained from the love of my HH. I have learned that it is only through meekness that changes do happen; that the contentious woman who once existed was responsible for the ruin of my marriage. I followed the principles of the RMI, which faithfully reproduced the doctrine dictated by the Lord that most of us have been ignorant of and why we have rampant destruction of so many marriages in the church.
I experienced the pain of longing, the pain of abandonment, and even the insecurity of not knowing the principles marriage. But I fought against all this through the faith in knowing Him as His bride and following the carefully laid path along this journey. Learning how to always be praising God, no matter what happened that was devastating and, in the moments when I weakened, I sought wisdom through the Father's teaching. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, that all give freely and do not reprove, and it will be given." (James 1: 5)
God is wonderful and fulfills all His promises. Believe, "We do not heed the things which are seen, but the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal, and the things which are not seen are eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:18). It is true that at times I thought of giving up, believing that things were too slow to happen. Yet because of my love for my HH, I continued on this long journey that at times, seems endless. But, believe me, all of you who are waiting. God knows the right moment and if I had deviated from the principles, trying to get through this journey another way, all the while that He was preparing my restoration, surely the result would be disastrous. Dear bride, have faith and believe. God is never late. He always comes and operates on time even when that time is late.
“Wait. Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the Lord” (Psalm 27:14)
Waiting is necessary, He acts only when we rest in His Word, when we let go of anxiety, and when we have proven we have learned to wait.
The restoration of my marriage came at a time when I realized that I just needed to trust Him, follow His teachings and not deviate from the lessons, letting my husband go, not questioning, or doubting the work that He was preparing. God knows our desires, our needs and hears all our requests, and only asks us to wait with faith, without ever being discouraged.
Even though the trials may appear hopeless and you feel helpless, as if you are alone, do not give up, don't stop believing, do not despair, continue to take His hand and walk along your journey, continue to believe, keep on seeking His face, make Him your HH.
Once again, I am very grateful to RMI who taught me everything and brought me so close to God that it made me realize that I did not have to fight for my husband but only to be close to the Lord, being the only One who I really needed, really wanted. Since He forgives everything, hears everything, He does not criticize and the best of all is that I learned that there was nothing I needed to do (fight with the flesh), because it was indeed a spiritual battle and if I have Him as my Protector and my Husband, why waste any energy but in praising Him?
He is wonderful! Do not give up, for right now He is working to fulfill your desires, for He probes your heart and knows what is best for us. Surrender to Him, let your husbands go, for God hates divorce and will bring your loved ones back, and you cannot imagine but your loved ones will come in a "reformed and improved edition," and the best of all this is that your loved ones will be transformed as well. Just in the same amount as you have been transformed, by His love!
I love my HH above all things. He changed the course of my life by showing me that I was not a wife, but a bride chosen for Him.
Today I am honored to be submissive to my husband, for I know that this submission is not self-denial, but simply obeying what God has determined that we women should do, be subject to our husbands. That is where my satisfaction lies, for this I rejoice, is the Lord's heart for wives. And I do not care what anyone may say, what anyone might think. I obey my husband and respect him: "Likewise, ye women, be subject unto your own husbands: lest some should not obey the word, because of the manner of their wives, be gained without a word" (1 Peter 3: 1).
My husband is aware of this, and my beloved bride, while I was here, thinking that I was suffering in isolation and was fighting my pride and my anxiety, crying and mourning, my husband who was living in his mother's house told me he was doing the same and feeling the same way. As I could never have imagined that my husband who left home saying that he did not love me and that he would never return, he would be suffering due to our separation! I could never have imagined that was happening.
My husband longed for me to look for him, to send him a message, or to create any excuse to ask him to come back. Yet I did nothing of the sort, due to the lessons of RMI that told me not to do it. What happened? My husband, obviously through the work of God, abandoned his pride and shame and sought help to restore our marriage himself! He found the same HopeAtLast.com, took the same courses for men and today we are happy and together!! Every day we thank God for not having given up on our marriage, and for having withdrawn from our minds the idea of moving on alone or ever looking for anyone else.
Thank you, my Heavenly Husband!!!! I love You for all Your love, for the work you did on me, and for all the tribulations You presented to me and asked me to go through holding Your hand. Thank You for without the fire there would have been no transformation of me or my husband and I would never have recognized that we, His children, needed You alone!!
Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Almara?
Yes. I recommend reading the book A Wise Woman first and then How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. I read these books in this order and then reread these books several times and continue reading and re-reading. It became my bedside reading along with my Bible.
Also, the courses where both my husband and I agree helped us the most. Learning to journal in talking and hearing Him speak to us.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Almara?
Either way Almara, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
May you have the faith. Believe that, however difficult it may be, if we faithfully follow God's principles and the teachings of the RMI, your marriages will be restored. Rejoice in the expression "God hates divorce," and give Him the work of restoration, for whatever you ask for in prayer, believe you will obtain.