Miranda, how did your restoration actually begin?
First, I want to ask your Lord's forgiveness for not writing the testimony of my Restored Marriage each time I knew I should.
It all started in February after we had been married for 12 years. We had just come back from a honeymoon trip and we were planning to have another child.
I always used my husband's cell phone and then one day I saw a message from an OW, I went to talk to him, but he denied everything. I began to investigate, and every day I discovered other things. So, I decided I would just call and confront the OW. She confessed that she was involved with him and I responded by cursing her out and then arguing with her.
When my husband came in, I confront him and told him about the call I’d made. He confessed that he was involved with OW. I fought with him horribly and then told him he could not do this to me. He cried, saying he was very sorry. But then I started to pressure him, saying, if he loved me he would not do this to me. He didn’t say anything, but when I stopped ranting and shouting, he said, “But I don’t love you anymore.” When I heard that, my world fell apart! All I wanted to do was to die. My life began to consist of just crying. I even stopped going to work and I stopped taking care of my son.
That day I began to pray and decided to tell my mother everything. Then I asked her to help me through prayer.
As each day passed, my will to live was diminishing and I could not eat. Everyone was concerned because I was losing weight fast. My mother-in-law kept telling me that I was losing a lot of weight and I always invented an excuse because I did not want to tell anyone what was going on. I did not accept the adultery and hoped that everything would be resolved before anyone found out.
At the request of my husband, I went to see a psychologist and she referred me to a psychiatrist because she said that I was not well and needed treatment.
I could not stop talking about everything with my husband and because of everything, our life was turned upside down. At one point he told me that he had better leave the house, but I begged him not to, so he stayed but was always threatening to leave. Each time I would shout that he could not abandon me and our son, "for what God united man cannot separate." But instead of helping, this only pushed him farther from me emotionally.
It was already May, four months from when my nightmare began, and I just could not stand to suffer anymore but I did not know what else to do. Each time I prayed it seemed things just got worse. So that's when I started searching the Internet for something from God to help me and when I found the RMI I knew it had all been orchestrated by God to save me!
I immediately started to read the testimonies and found out how to order the book "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage." When I began to read the book, I could not believe what I was reading. I saw the kind of contentious woman I was, and that the problem was not with my husband but with me. The more I read, the more I convinced myself that I had destroyed my marriage. I had placed my husband in first place in my life and had abandoned the Lord. I realized that He must be the 1st in our life and because He wasn't the center, God turned my husband's heart far from me.
In less than a week I had read the entire book and throughout this same period, all I could do was cry. I cried not due to my husband leaving or saying he didn’t love me but crying because I could finally see how foolish and disobedient I was to the Lord. How I had torn my own house down.
So, after reading the book, I set off on my Restoration Journey, waking up and doing the courses beginning with reading the daily encouragement. To tell you the truth, I do not know whether I'd be alive today if I hadn't started on this new path. If the Lord had not sent me to RMI, and I started to learn every day (in the daily encouragements and lessons straight from the Word of God and these being spoken directly into my heart) I know I would have taken my life.
First, I asked the Lord for forgiveness for all my sins and for abandoning Him. Then I asked my husband to forgive me for the contentious, quarrelsome, bossy, argumentative woman I'd been. I told him I'd done this to him because of not knowing what the Bible said about marriage and due to this, I had destroyed his love for me and our marriage.
I knelt at the Lord's feet and began to pray and fast, asking Him to make me a gentle, quiet woman. A woman who wins without a word, to mold me into His likeness, and do His will in my life. I begged Him not to let my home be destroyed. I asked Him to do a makeover on me and give me a new heart.
Sometimes I would fall and talk more than I should have. I would also cry and sometimes I thought I could not take it because I knew that my husband was with me then go to be with the OW. But the Lord never abandoned me and always got me up and made me move on again along my journey.
One day at a church (before I let it go), at the end of the service, the pastor told me that the Lord had shown him that I was going through a very big battle in my life and was not supposed to give up because at the end of that big battle there would be a victory.
Time passed and one day my husband said he was going to have to work two days in a row and that he would not be able to spend my birthday with me.
The next day I called my husband and to my surprise, he didn’t answer. It was the OW who answered!! I was back at work, but this sent me into a deep desperation. I got up from my desk and just left to spend time in my car. I wanted to go back in, but I couldn’t stop crying. I called him back, told him what had happened, and instead of being understanding, he just said he was not going through this with me anymore.
When we got home I told him he had to choose either me or the OW and to figure it out. I knew I’d messed up, giving him an ultimatum, so I quietly begged my HH to bless me double for my foolishness. Thankfully he didn’t give me an answer (which I know would have been her not me). What he said was that he was going to go stay at his mother's house. He took his suitcase and put it on the floor, so he could sort things out and while he packed, I was able to embrace the gentle and quiet spirit and apply the principles I should have. I told him that no matter how much I loved him and did not want to be separated, I would no longer stand in his way, that he needed to live his life. That day, I let go.
Oh, how it hurt, but I could not resist what I knew I had to do. Let go. He said that he would go to his mother's house and I wondered what she would say. Later he told me that his mother knew everything from the beginning. He said she could not accept what he was doing to me "Glory to God," and I was thankful I'd never told her anything. When he left, he came right back from his mother's house and said that he was going to sleep at home that night but that he would go back to stay there on Saturday.
Saturday came, and he took our son to play ball and continued staying at home without packing his suitcase. Again, he slept at home Saturday to Sunday. On Sunday morning he sat on our bed and said he wanted to talk to me and that he was going to tell me the truth for the first time. He asked if I would give him a period of one month for him to sort out what was going on and not tell anything to his mother. That he thought he loved OW, only to discover that he did not like her that much, not enough to leave his home and family. He said that he liked our home, our life. Of course, I nodded and agreed.
Each day that passed I gave more and more of my life into the hands of God. Each morning he went to work and in order to get there, he drove with the OW. That’s because he was a driver for the carpool and the OW was in his van. But then I heard that the next month, July, would be her last month in his van. I heard she had been transferred to work at another location! Look how God works sisters!! He is more powerful and wonderful than our problems when we just let go and give everything into the hands of the Lord.
As soon as I discovered that the book "A Wise Woman" was available in paperback not just online, I bought it immediately. And as I began to read it, I learned so many wonderful things that RYM hadn't shown me. Oh, how could I imagine that I had to be submissive to my husband! This was something I had never done and so many other things that I had never known was God's will for my life. I'd never considered being able to stay at home just to take care of our family. I have always worked outside and divided the bills with my husband. I knew there was nothing I needed to do to make this happen. I simply believed that the Lord would make this impossibility happen. He would incline the heart of my husband to want this.
Throughout my journey, I have been learning to trust and believe that with God nothing is impossible, and He did not want my marriage to end, "for what God united man does not separate." This needed to be sown in my heart, not to blurt out and use to make my husband stay. As I did, I knew He would make every change needed to make our marriage and home life the way He wanted it to be.
I also stopped going to church because I was going alone and wanted a spiritual leader. I continued praying and fasting for God to continue working in my life and to put me in the place that He wants, and that only He can incline the heart of my husband to do His will, to put back all his desire to serve God again.
More important than anything was that our family be spiritually restored, and my husband become our spiritual leader. One day my husband told me that my prayers were working (I never said I was praying), but he said something was changing in his mind and heart. He said, "God is wonderful, isn't He?" Soon after he began to be affectionate with me, attentive and paying more attention to our son. Out of nowhere, he said that he was hoping I still wanted another child and he also said that I am different and that he loves me very much.
He said that he would not leave home anymore and that he will never abandon us. That's when he said that he and the OW were no longer together, although she still sometimes called him. But he told me not to worry, because he would always hang up. I am praying that the OW will lose interest in my husband and her heart will turn back to her own husband. I believe that the One who started the good work will do all this in His appointed time, for He is the God of the impossible.
I ask each of you who are reading my testimony to never give up giving your problems to God because when the fight feels heavy it means you are trying to do it. When you let go, that's when God comes in and changes everything and rewrites the story. Just as He changed mine, He will change yours as well. Just trust Him. Honestly, I don't have enough words to thank my Lord for all that He has done and for all that He continues to do in our family. Thank you, Erin, for your dedication to helping us through by using only the Word of God and testimonies as proof. May the Lord continue to bless you, your family and this Ministry that speaks directly to our hearts. LORD, I LOVE YOU!!!
How did God change your situation Miranda as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
The Lord called me, and I heard Him through the pain. A pain that seemed to want to kill and it was from there that He began to show me the way forward for my transformation.
Through prayer and fasting and obedience to the Lord, He began to make my transformation. We cannot do anything ourselves except through the spirit of the Lord to change us and transform our hearts.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Miranda, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
There were so many things that I learned through the Word of the God once I found my way here.
To pray, to fast, to forgive, to speak only what is necessary, remain quiet, to always obey the Lord and to give everything in prayer to Him, to be submissive to my earthly husband (something I never imagined having to do, because no one had ever taught me this ), working at home and taking care of our family (another thing I did not know and had never heard of in my life), even though I work outside the home, I have already given it to God to do his will. And so many other wonderful teachings that only the Lord could teach me through His Word given to me by RMI, on the RMI site (which I thank the Lord for having sent me here). And every day I learn more and more.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Miranda?
The hardest moment for me was when I discovered the utter betrayal; when my earthly husband told me, he did not love me anymore and that he wanted to leave me. The scorn and humiliation I went through God brought me through. Also, when I found out that my husband had lied that he was going to work on my birthday and instead went to be with the OW and I called, and she answered.
All these moments the Lord carried me, comforted me on His lap and in truth I do not know what would have become of me if he had not done it for me, because my hope of living was over. If it were not for finding my way here, I would have taken my own life.
Miranda, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
It was when I asked the Lord and my earthly husband for forgiveness for everything I had done. Next was when I stopped speaking everything that came to my mind and instead applied the principle to “win without words” as this applies to everything not just winning a husband. Also, each time I let it go, I saw things turn around. Oh, and the biggest changes occurred the moment I stopped giving my tithe to the Local church and I started to give it to RMI (my treasure house) where I am spiritually fed. Don’t expect changes to happen until you surrender and trust Him.
Tell us HOW it happened Miranda? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Miranda, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
My husband, by God’s grace, never left our home, even though he was with an OW. The day he was going to go to his mother's house, he gave up and could not go. And I know that it was the Lord who inclined his heart and did not let him leave the house.
So, I just have to thank the Lord again for everything He has done and is doing in my family, because what God has joined man does not separate. I will be forever grateful to the Lord for the rest of my life for everything He’s done and will continue to do as long as He is first.
Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Miranda?
I recommend every single resource offered by RMI. Each is wonderful and speaks to everything you are or will be going through. Don't stop with just the first book and first course. Continue your journey if you truly want restoration. Remember, each book and video are the Word of the Lord, His message. What He wants you to know in order to give you the abundant life.
Begin with the testimonies books; then read the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, do the courses; wake up to the Encourager and do the courses a second time in the evening instead of watching TV. Don't miss the book A Wise Woman and then continue to live abundantly by taking these new courses offered in order to truly make the Lord your HH.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Miranda?
Either way Miranda, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
I ask each of you who are reading my testimony to never give up. When the fight gets heavier than you can bare remember that it's His battle and then just keep a gentle and quiet spirit, so when God comes in He will change the whole story. Just as He changed mine, He will change yours as well and you will be writing your own testimony.
UPDATE: Hello RMI. We were blessed with another son and wanted to send a new family picture.
Find more encouragement and overcome the hurdle of #WWW "won without a word" by clicking on the #TAG linked to Restored Marriage Testimonies.