Gail, how did your restoration actually begin?
I found your website through another website when I was looking for someone who had results of a restored marriage. I was married with two kids, and my husband and I were physically separated because of his work and not by choice.
Everything was always good, we were chatting and emailing each other regularly. Our problem started because I was always checking on him. One day he just said he cannot do it anymore and said he won't come home anymore during his vacation. He slowly became cold and distant. That's when I discovered a lot of things and someone tried to tell me he was having an affair and told me her name but when I asked him, he said it was not true and I believed him, but he was really different.
We continued our usual communication but it was not the same. He would always find excuses not to chat with me and the kids. Then I discovered everything and I tried to contact the girl he was involved with through FB, my husband got upset and our problem became bigger. He became even more distant until he no longer called or messaged us anymore. I kept pursuing him like my FB group said to do. One day I called and it was the girl who answered.
How did God change your situation Gail as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
It was tough, but after finding RMI, I turned everything over to God and let go. Only a month later his company transferred him praise God so he was no longer working with the girl.
I first learned that God heals all hurts and bitterness by taking the courses. Then, I learned to forgive my husband completely. When I became gentle and kind to him, he began to see the difference in the way I talked to him and that made him want to come home when he had vacation time.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Gail, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
I learned to stayed away and never contacted him. Before learning this, I always pursued him, always thought about him, always talked about him. But once my HH became first, that's when my EH began calling and pursuing me, and as I watched his heart turn back to me and our children I was in awe at how everything RMI says is true.
I learned, too, that I had to stand on God's Word, especially when my husband didn't give us any chance for restoration. He had totally given up on us. The Lord blessed me with two women to help me believe when I became weary. I asked God for an ePartner, a woman I could encourage who was going through a marriage crisis. Instead of finding just one ePartner, God gave me two!!! I shared the resources with them, even purchased books for them both.
To encourage myself, I would go to your website and read the testimonies of marriages restored and then I would tell my ePartners (they didn't have internet access) and it would actually encourage me. We would discuss what the restored wives did and set our hearts to do the same.
Gail, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
For sure it was focusing on my HH and second was encouraging other women. Finding my ePartners was what turned my journey to become enjoyable. Before that I wasn't able to enjoy any part of my life. I struggled with everything.
To all the women who do not know what to do, the courses will help you get through the toughest of times, especially when you want to give up. Once you get to FAL, you will know you have a HH who has the love you've been longing for. You will little by little change to a better and more Godly woman and wife the more you give Him your heart.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Gail?
Letting go, deactivating my FB and then shifting my heart from my EH to my HH where it needed to be all along. I declared that one day I would be writing my testimony and here I am!
Without my HH I don't know where I would be. It became the toughest when I knew everything about my EH and the OW. My insecurities were being fed each time my EH confessed his true feelings and plans to be with the OW. Yet, spiritually I knew his plans didn't matter and as long as I focused my attention on my HH who is always faithful, I was able to forgive and love and encourage other women.
I truly thank the Lord because He has been faithful to do what His Word says He would do. Not only that, but others around me have the opportunity to witness what the Lord did for us. It was long time, but the Lord kept giving me His Word, reminding me these weren't just words to hope for, but promises He gave to me. So as long as I was faithful to Him, He would be faithful to me.
Tell us HOW it happened Gail? Did your husband just walk in the front door?
Late one night my husband had a big fight with the OW. He packed his things, left her house, and moved in with a friend, but his friend's wife did not want him there. He had no other place to go. So, he called me a day later, quit his job, and came home after living out of state with the OW.
He was broken, but the "Wise Woman workbook" had prepared me for his return. Things were shaky in the beginning. I had learn to listen to the Holy Spirit telling me not to say anything about the things he does that I didn't like, and to allow Him to complete the work He began in my husband. Praise the Lord, though it was tough, the more I fell in love with my HH the more my husband began to change!
Gail, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
Yes and no. No because things were in the natural getting worse and worse. Everyone was telling me to give up, and I agreed, but in my heart I would give it to God, and then get closer to my HH That's when I saw things through His eyes. It's something I read several times in the resources, that when things are getting worse, you're so close. So this is why I could tell I was close, but that scared me because I knew things would become even harder.
Do you have favorite Bible verses Gail that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?
Jeremiah 29:11-14 NET Bible "For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope. When you call out to me and come to me in prayer, I will hear your prayers. When you seek me in prayer and worship, you will find me available to you. If you seek me with all your heart and soul, I will make myself available to you,’ says the Lord. ‘Then I will reverse your plight and will regather you from all the nations and all the places where I have exiled you,’ says the Lord. ‘I will bring you back to the place from which I exiled you.’"
Jeremiah 17:7 NET Bible "My blessing is on those people who trust in me, who put their confidence in me."
Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Gail?
The first resource I purchased was How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and A Wise Woman. I ordered copies for one friend and my brother, too. I wholeheartedly recommend both resources to encourage every woman and man in their walk as a believer.
Later I began to purchase the books by the case (more women's then men's) so I always had them to hand out. Now when I am able to share what God did for me, more women want the book.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Gail?
YES. I think to maintain restoration everyone needs to focus on helping others. It not only keeps God on your side, but it also keeps your focus on others and not on yourself. I also find that if I'm not involved this way, I tend to want to make sure I am "pleasing" to my husband when it's by pleasing the Lord, my HH, that makes my restored marriage solid.
Either way Gail, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Dear Brides, we all want lives of abundance don’t we, living free of worrying. Here is what I would encourage you to do. Every time you surrender and give up yourself and focus on loving HIM, the more of His Abundant Life you will find and the more you will want of Him.
All you need and all you should want to love for is Him and once you feel this way, He will take care of everything else because He wants to be your Everything!!! The enemy is keen to steal kill and destroy, but our HH said that He will come to you not to judge you but so that you can have a life of abundance. It's much more than having your marriage restored, it's living a life that overflows.
An Abundant life is being secure that HE will provide each of us all we need and most of what we want. It may not be the material stuff but what's most important to us as women—an abundance of love and the joy unspeakable and peace that surpasses all understanding. Keep on pressing toward your HH because only then will you find and experience the abundant life with Him when He gives you the desires of your heart. If you want someone who will never leave you or turn away from you, it is Him.