Whitley, how did your restoration actually begin?
Well, it all started when my son got sick and I took him to the pediatrician. My son's pediatrician said that if it did not improve to inform him. My son did not improve so I sent him a text message asking him what I could do. From there every day I received a message from him asking if my son had improved and soon we became friends. He began to compliment me on my wonderful mothering, but when that happened, I tried to change the because I was uncomfortable. It wasn't planned, when we became friends, but at the time, I didn't see the harm being friendly with my son's pediatrician because it was easier if he had a problem.
My mistake was being too innocent or maybe stupid, because I simply had not realized what was happening. In one of our conversations the doctor said that he liked to write poetry and that’s actually is my passion. I'm a teacher and I have written a lot of poetry myself, but nobody ever cared. So, when this man actually wanted to read what I wrote I got really excited. That day, even though I had lots, I sent him just two to read.
Of course, I was finding it strange having received so many compliments from him, it seemed he was texting me every day with a new topic to discuss but I just enjoyed the attention. So, just to be sure it was okay, I decided to copy part of the conversation and I emailed to a friend.
Then one day, I was trying to help a friend who was also having problems in her marriage and asked my husband to send her an email for me. My account was open because I had nothing to hide. That's when he saw all the pediatrician's messages that I’d emailed my friend that I’d copied from my phone. He was furious. That day he packed a bag and he left home for 4 days. When he returned he had separation papers for me to sign— even though nothing happened.
How did God change your situation Whitley as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
I have been a Christian since I was 19 but I had fallen away. Many times, I would not go to church in order to stay home with my husband to make him happy. Little did I know that having this attitude, not just about church, but putting him first above everything— proved I was unintentionally putting my husband in first place. When everything happened, and my husband said he wanted a separation, I finally turned to God for help. I had the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage but had not read yet. I don't remember who gave it to me, or why, but there it sat.
Desperately I searched for a church close to home but when I read HopeAtLast.com, I knew that it wasn't a church I needed. It was Him I needed. From there I made the Lord my number one priority. I started reading the RYM book and taking notes. I read everything that could to keep me close to God. I began succeeding in many things in my life, moving forward, one day at a time. I remember that my husband spent four days in our country house and when he came back he had already made the decision to divorce me. I told him that I thanked God for going through this nightmare because only then did I realize that nothing could take the place of the Lord in my life.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Whitley, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
I asked God for wisdom and patience, but the basic principle was to overcome evil with good and winning my husband without a word. Keeping silent. My husband made it a point to try to humiliate me every chance he got, he told me horrible things, played jokes on me, posted things on social media, but each time He said to say nothing, do nothing. God helped me get through it. Silence is the most powerful weapon we have and what will win most battles. To all of you who are hoping for restoration, wait solely and exclusively on the Lord. Put all your hope in Him.
Dear Brides, I do encourage you to read Finding the Abundant Life especially "Your Best Protection." All of us ladies are longing for protection, we have this written in our DNAs, so why not take some time to really think about an innate basic need for every woman? We know what our Savior did for us, and what He is able to do if we Trust Him, otherwise, we may live our lives as unfortunate and needy women while we have it all taken care already by our HH. With all my heart, I encourage you to read about your best protection ever - your BRIDEGROOM.
As I’ve said, I highly recommend the course, this Finding the Abundant Life book!!! My faith has been improved so much more than anything I’ve read, and my whole life has been improved by the principles that are taught.
He does have a great life for us all, for all His BRIDES. Sometimes HE IS going to deliver us from the evil, but other times we are going to face the evil, so we need to learn to be loving towards the ones that are trying to harm to us. As soon as we learn to listen to HIM, and to quiet down in HIS arms enjoying HIS companionship, it will be the speed to find peace for our souls and genuine joy.
Speaking simplistically, summarizing everything—all we need is the assurance that He is with us, HE LOVES us and takes good care of us. That's what HE DOES, that’s HIS nature, HE IS OUR HUSBAND.
As soon as we discovered that we are just fine in the exact situation that we are in, the position we are because HE is the One who will continue orchestrating all things for our good, because we love Him and because HE DOES have a plan for our lives.
Through this book, we are guided to forgive others, expect less from people that surround us, to forgive ourselves, to be glad about our waiting time, to be grateful about every detail of our journey. Michele helps us understand this great TRUTH with this book. She helps all of us Brides, to find our abundant life that is HIDDEN IN OUR BRIDEGROOM.
In the end, time doesn't matter anymore, once we are delighting ourselves with our BELOVED. The scenario doesn´t matter, HE IS GOING to be there with us, and we can trust HIM, HE always takes great care of HIS BRIDES. Please learn how to enjoy the BEST, HIS COMPANIONSHIP IS THE BEST!!!
An abundant life? I already have it, He gave it to me long before my restoration, and I do belong to HIM, HE is my abundant life!!!
Whitley, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point was from the beginning when I made it clear that I would no longer leave my first Love. I told myself, told God, told my HH that He was first, but I’d always spoken about my EH constantly. My feelings for him were evident and where he was in my life, number one and an idol. Once I TRULY was faithful to my HH, the most amazing things happened. First, no more pain. No matter what I heard or didn’t hear regarding my EH, it didn’t affect me one bit. What a MIRACLE yet it’s everything RMI tells us, Erin says, and each RMT I read says. But I just didn’t get it and I only fooled myself that I’d let go and my HH was first until then.
The next thing is that my EH feelings for me CHANGED. This happened before, but each time before, I’d quickly make him and my marriage my idol again, only to have my EH turn away and reject me again. But once I didn’t care, once my HH was truly MY FIRST LOVE, I just didn’t care when my EH was nice to me. This caused him to begin pursuing me! Another miracle but again what this ministry has told me from DAY ONE.
Tell us HOW it happened Whitley? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Whitley, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
How it happened started when I got pregnant two months into my RJ. Though he'd filed for divorce, it was clear he had feelings for me. So, since we were still married, and based on what I learned from RMI, I was submissive to his advances. Yet, rather than be my miracle, my pregnancy was awful. My EH became horribly distant, but I did not ask for anything: no support, no affection. To my EH it was as if I was not pregnant.
Once my son was born and he started to talk more to me, we began to have a good relationship, but there was still a great chasm between us. It was clear he wasn’t fully in, so I asked if He would show me restoration was taking place. My EH was still not wear the wedding ring and it bothered my family a lot. One day after hearing from my family how shameful this was, I was telling God that the sign that my marriage was being restored was when he put the ring back on. That would be the sign this was His will.
Then one day as I was leaving the bathroom and he came in from the other room saying he had thought I deserved better and I saw he had his ring back on. In all, my journey lasted a year, but the TRUTHS and my TRANSFORMATION will last for a LIFETIME.
Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Whitley?
First I would recommend the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and reading the Encourager and of course, the online courses offered by RMI. It is very important to always remain close to everything that leads you to the Lord and this ministry does that. Discovering your HH and the Finding the Abundant Life Course is when your life will really change.
Also, if you sense you’re not being blessed and there’s something stopping it, I’d look at tithing to your storehouse. This is when my miracles stopped being stolen the moment they happened. Read how to surrender and trust Him and where you’re spiritually fed.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Whitley?
Either way Whitley, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Give your heart completely to HIM. Allow yourself to be broken, then SURRENDER yourself to Him. Ask for forgiveness for your sins. Speak to HIM always as if it were your last prayer. Trust. Believe His promises. Ask for WISDOM. Say NOTHING. Quietness is your best weapon. Seek God more and more. He will hear you. Discover your HH. Fall in Love. Make Him number One. I do not know how long your fight will last but be sure that God gives you Victory. Do not rush, it's all in God's timing, not yours. Mine lasted a year, yours could last more or less. God knows what each of us has to go through in order to change. Find your HH early on so you can enjoy your journey.