#9. Testimonies of Emotional Pain & Suffering Healed!

★★★★★ “Healed from Bipolar Disorder”

Praise be to God for all these wonders that He has performed among you!
And I believe that our beloved heavenly husband is preparing my testimony too, about the release of medication for bipolar disorder, which I have been taking for practically 8 years!

I am waiting patiently in the LORD!!! So that His name can be glorified through my life too!!! AMEN!!!

 

★★★★★ “Healed from the aftermath of Psychology”

I have never been a very emotional person due mainly to my parents. I built up walls due to many things in my life like my parents’ divorce and the adultery in my marriage. My parents always pushed my sisters and I to talk about feelings because they are both counselors. It always made me feel uncomfortable sharing feelings so I built up a wall. I did this mainly because they would want us to share, but then subtly judge us or tell others. Also, I didn't want to feel because it was safer. If I didn't feel I couldn't get hurt which also led me to drink and experiment with drugs starting as a teenager.

But now coming to RMI I’ve been healed AND I am so grateful that I have this new found deeper love for the Lord than I have ever had or ever thought was possible. This was nothing I did to earn it though I tried to no avail. I tried to force the feelings but just couldn’t feel that “husband” type of love for the Lord. Even God felt distant to me. This was something that I kept crying out to Him to make me feel these feelings for Him and He has. One day it just happened. There was a change in me.

He changed me and it was all in His timing and for a reason. So much had to be broken out of me. I am truly in love. When I got to this point nothing else mattered. It was only Him. This is so much better than having a restored marriage. Now I find myself praying that my earthly husband won’t come home while I’m awake so I will be able to just have more time with Him.

It brings me to tears how good He is and how He is so faithful to answer prayers. Once He is your Husband, you can’t be hurt anymore—you’ll be healed. Though I stumble every now and then, He brings me right back to Him and it’s wonderful! I feel so blessed and loved. I have so much more faith in who my Husband truly is.

~ Christina in Washington

Testimonies of Finding Their Heavenly Husband to learn how to find your Heavenly Husband and how He can heal you.

★★★★★ “Suicide Thoughts—No Longer "Covered Up"— they are Completely Gone!”

After reading "Medicate or Heal?" I knew I needed to submit a praise report on this because around the age of 6, I was molested by my older cousin. Due to this, when I was 14 years old, I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital as an attempted suicide. I left a note and everything. Before that, I always had an issue with cutting. I liked blood, I was depressed and very suicidal. Eventually, things got better for me, I got married and I had children and that side of me was covered up. I told myself "That was my childish phase. I was a fool for doing those things. I found Jesus and my life is worth something." and although that is true, I never actually stayed close to my Strong Protector. Soon the feelings of wanting to be alone and to cut myself became appealing again.

This was even before God had shaken me and turned my EH's heart from me. So by the time that happened, I was ready for death again. I was planning how to kill myself and getting excited by the thought of cutting again and then no longer feeling any more emotional hurt. My Dear Sweet Husband began speaking to me quickly, not long after these thoughts did I realize that this mindset was not okay. This was from the devil himself and he was fighting to get me to succumb to his ways. I started weeping and thinking about how badly I needed to go back to the psych ward and how badly I needed help. Yet, my Love was fighting for me, although I didn't know Him as intimately yet, so I decided to call a Christian Counselor. I got an appointment set up with her and felt at ease. Not long after that RYM was introduced to me (that is more about restoring my relationship with Him than my husband). I hadn't gotten ahold of all the principles by the time I started going to see my therapist, but once I did I just did my best to not focus on my EH and just to tell her how I have been. I'll admit, it was nice talking to her, but she wasn't who I needed. I needed Him and only Him.

In fact, every time I went to see her, I was just praising what He had done, how He has changed me and that I was encouraged. It wasn't long before I realized that I didn't need her, or any medication. I needed Him. I needed the One who loves to love me! The One who listens to me 24/7 and the One who never tells me time is up. My Lord, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Protector, my Love. He has been everything I've ever needed, wanted and so much more! He wasted no time in getting those thoughts of suicide out of my head. He knew I didn't need any medication because what He prescribed was free! It has no bad side effects and it leaves you with the ability to show others love and give others the hope and faith that you recently were begging for!

I can't explain to you how good He has been to me. He loves me, He holds me, He helps me be the wife and mother I ought to be and He is a wonderful Husband! My Precious has saved me from myself. From my terrible dark thoughts, He has delivered me. I am not the same woman who started this journey 4 months ago. I almost forgot about her and her thoughts of suicide. I'm glad to say that they are no longer "covered up"— they are completely gone! My Heavenly Husband has shown me just how much worth I have and I never doubt my worth anymore. I never doubt that He loves me and I never doubt that He has a plan for me.

I want you to know, sister, that I was down low, very low. No amount of anything was going to change that. I wanted the pain to be gone and I thought that ending my life was the only way, then my Beloved starting talking to me and my life started feeling worthy again. But that wasn't enough, I thought it meant I needed therapy, how wrong I was because therapy did nothing for me. It was a hindrance. Once I started giving my life to Him and pursuing His love and affection, that is when I was washed clean and made new. I needed Him to fully heal me.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." Psalms 51:10 KJV

"And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace." Luke 8:48 KJV

"But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26 KJV

Remember, He will renew your life and make it better than before. He will restore what you have lost, nothing is impossible with Him!

~ Ruth in Illinois

★★★★★ “I Really Thought I was Going to Die!”

After reading today's lesson, Counseling & Psychology, I wanted to submit a PR about how the Lord saved me from the dangers of counseling and medication. I sincerely pray my testimony will help another hurting woman.

This all happened four years ago as I was granted a scholarship and went abroad to study. About one month after my arrival in that country, I started suffering from severe insomnia. I could spend several nights in a row without sleeping. It was horrible because I was feeling sleepy only around 5 a.m. when I supposed to get ready for the university. It seems surreal even to me today but I remember that I spent a period of two weeks without being able to sleep at all at night. And I had to attend the classes, to study, to do some research, work on my assignments, prepare for my exams and write a Master's thesis.

So I consulted a doctor who told me that he could not prescribe me sleeping tablets because I was too young for it and he sent me to a psychiatrist instead. The conclusions of the psychiatrist at the end of this meeting were that I was missing my country and my family. And also that I was too stressed by the fear of failure and disappointing my family. I was not convinced by what he was saying and I decided not to meet him anymore. I also remember that I told to God that I would not go back to the psychiatrist because I knew that I was not crazy and that I did not suffer from a mental disorder as he'd said. I told Him that it was He who had led my steps to this country and that if He allowed me to suffer from insomnia and even to die from it, I would accept His will. I had always thought it was my rebellious spirit that had driven me to make this radical decision, but I realize after reading this lesson that it was God who was protecting me!

Things would have ended well if I had totally surrendered, but my suffering was stronger than my faith. So I committed spiritual adultery. The advice I received from people was useless and some were totally crazy (someone told me it was my "singleness" that was the problem and advised me to have a sexual partner to sleep better!). In despair, I confided in my supervisor. I had the impression that she understood me at one point but then, I learned the hard way that I should not seek advice and compassion from a human being. While I was writing my Master thesis (which she was supervising), she sent an email to tell me that after thinking about what I'd shared, she had concluded that I was unfit for doctoral studies and that I had to think seriously of returning to my country after the conclusion of my thesis. I was trying hard to hold on and not let myself down, I did not need to hear those words coming from the mouth of someone I had trusted!

I consulted another doctor who first prescribed sleeping pills, which had no effect, so I went back to see her and this time she prescribed stronger sleeping tablets. She told me that with those I was "obliged to sleep". I took the tablets one time and not only did not sleep that night, but I really thought I was going to die— that's how badly I was feeling. After this episode, I gave up completely about going to and speaking to doctors about it and I began to pray with the help of my family. I still had a few nights of sleeplessness, but it was no longer with the same severity. Thanks to prayer and because I completely surrendered, the last months I spent in that country were less difficult. I was able to complete the writing of my Master's thesis, to defend it and return to my country without losing my mind :))

Thank you again, my God, for saving my life. I knew it was Your grace that saved me, but I understand even better today how much You have protected me. You prevented me from being deceived by the lies of a psychiatrist and you protected me from addiction to drugs that would have made me sicker. And more importantly, You taught me to rely solely on you.

Psalm 46:1-3 The Message
God is a safe place to hide,
ready to help when we need him.
We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,
courageous in seastorm and earthquake,
Before the rush and roar of oceans,
the tremors that shift mountains.
Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

~ Eliza in Cameroon
French Translator
AideMaritale.com

★★★★★ Healed from Rheumatoid Agoraphobia!!

This morning I have to praise my Heavenly Husband for the blessing and the miracle I received. I have suffered from Agoraphobia since 1993, which is a fear of places and situations that might cause panic, helplessness, or embarrassment. My HH helped me to overcome all of the fears except I couldn't get over the fear of going out of town alone. I was comfortable with my hometown area only—but I was desiring to take a road trip without a chaperone.

A week ago my HH arranged for me to take a trip to Atlanta, GA, Charlotte, NC and South Carolina and I drove 568 miles with my HH only. I was overwhelmed with joy and happiness. My HH restored my independence to roam this land He created freely without fear!

I feel that I can shoot for the moon because I can land among the stars with ease. I had a wonderful time with my best friend whom I have not seen in 12 years and my niece who is on this same RJ. My family and friends were so happy for me all they could say was "look at God" with amazement.

I was not only healed from Agoraphobia, but I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in 1991 and the few treatments I consented to made things worse so in just tried natural remedies. In 2009 I stop seeing the doctor concerning the disease.

On this journey with Him, I learn who God really is a God who long to be Gracious to me and would give me the Desires of My Heart. I wanted to he healed Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally and Physically and what a miracle my HH performed.

I had a doctor visit with a new physician and the Rheumatologist ordered several tests to see how much deterioration was present. The tests came back negative for the disease of Rheumatoid Arthritis!! The doctor was in shock—he didn't know how to explain the results. I started thanking and praising God for my healing and explained to the doctor about the healing power of God. People who knew me could tell you how I couldn't get out of bed for days because of the stiffness and pain. While on this RJ God has restored so much of me it seems unreal but I'm living proof it IS real. I love my HH so much and all honor, praise, and glory go to Him alone!! Jeremiah 30:17 "But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds', declares the Lord, 'Because you are called and outcast, Zion for whom no one cares'.

Jeremiah 30:17 "But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds', declares the Lord, 'Because you are called and outcast, Zion for whom no one cares'.

When you believe God for restoration He will restore whatever you've lost.
2Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love and a sound mind."

I learned to use the power that God gave me to speak to my mountain and watch it move! And knowing how much God loves me and protects me heals me of all my diseases.

~ Karen in North Carolina

★★★★★ “All I Had to Do Was Ask”

Praise the Lord I no longer have anxiety attacks. Prior to the start of my Restoration Journey I had anxiety (panic) attacks every morning. I had difficulty sleeping also. I went to the doctor and was given medication for both. I never thought about talking to God about it. I am a nurse so when there is an ailment I give medication. Then one morning I prayed and asked God to remove these panic attacks from me and He did. I never had another attack. I have not taken medication for anxiety or sleep in 7 months. All I had to do was ask and He did it immediately. I am so grateful for His love for me.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

God does not want us to be anxious. When you are in that state you cannot think or concentrate on Him. As soon as I asked He delivered me. Panic attacks and medication rob you of your time with God. I will not rob Him on purpose, not thru anxiety, money, or any other way that blocks my relationship with Him.

~ Kendra in New Jersey

★★★★★ “Delivered from Mental Illness!!”

I just want to praise the Lord and my precious savior for healing me of so many physical and emotional illnesses. Before my RJ began, I suffered from depression for 6 years. I saw many different doctors, took many different medications for the condition, and at the very end I saw a "therapist". After all that, they diagnosed me as being Bipolar with depression and I began taking medications for that as well. It would seem to help for a while, then they would suddenly stop working. Something deep within me told me that if I would repent of my ways and seek the Lord I would no longer have depression.

Needless to say, I never got enough courage to trust or seek the Lord. Praise Him for His patience and forgiveness. I'm so thankful He used my marriage to let me fall flat on my face (literally in my bedroom) when He allowed my EH to leave. I knew when I laid in my floor crying out to my Lord, He heard my cry and would carry me through.

The journey has been far more rewarding and painful than I ever dreamed, but the pain is cleansing me from the person I was. The Lord didn't stop until He got my attention, Thank You Jesus! I can submit this report with a joyful heart and a true testimony of deliverance from a "mental illness" that I now know was a deep spiritual illness.

I remember sitting on my couch several months ago feeling the Lord tell me to trust Him and let go of the last "mood stabilizing" medication. I said something like "Okay, if you say so, but I can't do this on my own. You have to take it from me..." I proceeded to flush the medication down the toilet.

I am speaking the truth that I was delivered from depression that day and I am not Bipolar! I am healed and a child of God, restored to Him in a healthy state. It has been 7 months and I am medication free -- Completely. PTL. Only the healing power of my Jesus and His precious blood can do this. Trust Him, listen to Him, He will guide you and deliver you! I do want to say I would never recommend anyone just stop taking their medication based on hearing what I have said. You need to seek the Lord and He will direct you once you learn to hear from Him and you know you can trust Him speaking to you. God bless.

"Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him and He will do it" (Ps. 37:5)

When I let go of my fears and my doubts and committed my trust to Him, He DID do it. He is so faithful!

"Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, He will come with vengeance; with divine retribution He will come to save you." (Isa. 35:3-4)

Fear is something I continue to deal with, yet the Lord is perfecting His love in me, as He will each of us as we seek His face; His perfect love casts out all fear. PTL

"With people this is impossible but with God, all things are possible" (Matt 19:26)

Jesus is still in the miracle business. With our health, our hearts, our lives, and our marriages. Nothing, not a thing, is impossible for God.

"He has sent forth His word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave" (Ps. 107:20)

I am still amazed and so delighted to understand more and more the power of God's word. I has indispensable power, and it will not return to Him void. How comforting and encouraging!

~ Holly in Kentucky

★★★★★ “Healed from Depression”

Before I started my restoration, my life was completely destroyed. I felt depressed and didn’t want to live. In my desperation to find relief from the emotional and physical pain I felt in those days, I became a Buddhist. After a few months, I cannot remember exactly how long, I discovered RMIEW and started to read the testimonials of many restored marriages and I wondered if each and every one of those witnesses were saying the truth. I was afraid to get excited perhaps because my hopes would be in vain. Unfortunately I was not ready at that time, but God used a lot of tests to help me realize that only He could restore me my life again. I would like to say that this process was quick and easy but it was not. Gradually the Lord has been healing my heart. But what I appreciate most is He healed me of depression. Thank You Lord!

Thank You for allowing this event in my life because now You did get my attention and drew me to You. Praise Your name for eternity. Lord You are worthy of our worship.

~Nancy in California

★★★★★ Anxiety Free

God is so good. I have been struggling with anxiety from time to time and needed medication for this, particularly over the last 10 months. I have been spending time with God the whole time fasting and praying unceasingly but I was still experiencing such huge waves of anxiety at work and was often gripped by fear, to the point where I would go into the toilet at work (a very small dirty room) and sit on the floor and cry.

Then I found your website and a light went on in my head. I had made my broken marriage and a number of other things my God.

Since then ( about 6 weeks ago) I have been repenting and seeking and praising The LORD instead of just always praying about my marriage endlessly. I decided to pray about my marriage in the morning then go to work and only praise God and pray for people around me whilst there - not my marriage. Then pray again for my marriage before bed.

It was difficult at first and it took about 2 weeks for me to just focus on God whilst at work. Then I decided to get up early to spend more time with God. I work full time ( as requested by my husband) and have to leave home at 7am to drive to work. I'm not a morning person but now I'm getting up 15 min earlier and spending a good 1/2 hour with my Heavenly Father each morning reading proverbs and praying. And I love it. Then I spend 1/2 an hour with Him at night before bed reading Hebrews. Each time morning and night I also read a Psalm and focus on praising God. I have also found praying when I can lying on the floor face down really has helped me too.

I am really anxiety free.

Whenever I feel anxiety coming over me now, I just lie on the ground and praise God. If I'm at school I go into the maths store room and pray like what I stated above. It's amazing!!

I saw my counsellor last night for the first time in 8 weeks and told her I didn't need to see her anymore and why. She was quite surprised by my countenance. She is a Christian and when I shared with her about your website, she was keen to share it with her other clients. She said I had encouraged her in her walk with the Lord too! God is so good. He is allowing me to rest in Him and not worry about my earthly relationships. I hope I can continue this regime because it's really made such an amazing difference in my life.

~ Lenore in Australia

★★★★★ Hem of His Garment

Today I want to give God praise for healing me from the emotional scars that haunted me for most of my childhood and adult life. When I gave my life to Christ at the age of 38, I knew that He was capable of not only physical healing but also emotional healing. I knew that I wanted to be healed and closer to God but I was going about it in the wrong way. I found more comfort fellowshipping with others in the congregation of my church than I did in Him. It wasn’t until I found RMI, and they taught me to focus on Relationship, that I was TOTALLY healed!! Praise God!!

As a child and into my pre-teen years I was abused and suffered great loss because of this. Sadly, I cannot look back into my childhood and say that there are any happy memories. But what I can say is that I have a wonderful present and a bright future and everything that the enemy meant for evil, God will use for GOOD!!

For many years I suffered from depression and anxiety and I would often have outbursts of anger. I tried different types of medications over the years in hopes that something would take my sadness away but everything I tried never ever helped so I eventually gave up on medicating myself. As a last resort, I tried going to a private psychologist for counseling and after the second visit, I knew that it was wrong and was NOT going to benefit me.

“They heal the brokenness of My people superficially, saying, ‘Peace, peace,’But there is no peace.” Jeremiah 6:14

“Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then is there no healing for the wound of my people?” Jeremiah 8:22

Building a relationship with My Heavenly Husband has been the most Amazing Experience of my life. My entire life was filled with emptiness and sadness until I met HIM! When I reached for the hem of His garment He reached within me and healed me by HIS TOUCH!

For she thought, “If I just touch His garments, I will get well.” Mark 5:28

How AWESOME is HE! Years of trying the ways of the world with no change but ONE TOUCH from the MASTER and I AM MADE WHOLE!

Let Him go into the deep places, He is OUR HEALER!!

“Oh Lord my God, I cried to You for help and You healed me.” Psalm 30:2

“Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them; and I will reveal to them an abundance of peace and truth.” Jeremiah 33:6.

★★★★★ A New Person

Since I've been with RMIEW and really began to seek the LORD for myself, I've realized that He is more than enough for me! For years I suffered from "depression" mainly due to childhood traumas. I tried various antidepressant medications in the past but nothing ever really made me feel whole.

As the Lord drew me closer, He began healing me. He made me into a new person. He began to show me that His LOVE for me was so GREAT that it could conquer ALL things.....and it has!

I am a living testimony that God is a Healer! His yoke is easy and His burden light. Look to Him, cling to Him, HE IS YOUR HEALER too!!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV

My Precious Sister in Christ, Your Heavenly Husband is so in Love with you! He Loves you with an everlasting Love and will NEVER, EVER reject you! Right at this very moment, He is REJOICING and SINGING over you!!! Zephaniah 3:17

Not long ago I was right in your shoes too. I came to RMIEW in search of HOPE in my desperation. Not long after, I realized it was God's intervention in my life and it wasn't by chance that I got here. It was His leading! He saw how I was hurting and eased the pain. He sees YOU too!

You are not here by chance, precious one. What He has done for so many others, He will do for You! He has a plan to prosper you and to give you a hope and a wonderful future! Jeremiah 29:11

I want you to remember what the Bible says, "For NOTHING is impossible with God". He is so much bigger than all of your troubles. Whenever doubt comes to mind, I want you to always remember and say it loud: "NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD"!!!

Love & Prayers,

~ Dawn

★★★★★ "No More Despair! Only Faith and Hope!"

Oh, how mighty is our God?! I want to praise His holy name. I had gone to see my GYN physician for my yearly checkup. I shared with him about the hurt, despair, and anxiety I was feeling. I talked to him about my panic attacks and how I couldn’t go a day without crying and I was given a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication.

Shortly after leaving the office, I had the prescription filled. I took one of the pills before I went to bed to help me sleep. The next morning, I still felt sleepy. But the next evening, I remember a strong urging not to take the medication. The Lord spoke to me that night. He assured me that if I truly was letting everything go and giving Him all of my cares and burdens then I would give Him this also. I felt strongly that I should just flush the medication down my toilet and that is just what I did. The entire content of the bottle was flushed without hesitation by me.

This was SO freeing. I have never regretted doing this months ago. Not once. Without the medication I have peace. No anxiety. When I feel the devourer coming in to steal my peace, I praise Jesus and thank Him for taking it away completely. He has now healed me from needing this medication and replaced it with a yearning for Him and His word. He has also delivered me of my desire to smoke and drink alcohol and He is now working on my overeating. I am sure I will have a praise report soon regarding my weight loss.

God is good. Be encouraged!!!

~ Pamela in Idaho

Here is another Praise Report submitted by: Pamela in Idaho.

★★★★★ “Grace & Mercy”

Oh, what grace and mercy He has shown to me this past year. It has been more than abundant. I am asking of Him to write this PR for me as I have put it off for some time. I realized a few weeks ago, it has been over a year since I smoked. I was thinking about how much better I feel. He reminded me that I would get up and the first thing I would do was get my coffee and a pack of cigarettes and “start my day”. How sad. It breaks my heart that I left Him completely out of my mornings. Now, He causes me to thirst and hunger for Him and His Word. The thought of smoking does not cross my mind. It is only because of His grace and mercy that this happened. I have quit smoking many times only to start again. I would have the craving and desire to smoke when I got up, after a meal or when I “had a few drinks”, like so many others. This time, because of His grace and mercy, I have QUIT. I am healed of this evil desire.

I have a new desire to be fit for My King! I want to protect and care for the temple, my body, He has blessed me with. I bought a copy of a 30-day devotional plan for my sister and me. We are learning to devote our eating to Him and to nourish our bodies and energize our bodies with food that gives us strength. I am asking Him to take away the cravings for food that does not.

I cannot do this on my own. He alone has caused me to stop smoking, drinking, gossiping and wanting to partake in activities that are not of Him. I no longer need medication for anxiety or pain. I have seen what He can do when I put my faith in Him alone. I don’t need self-help books, seminars, support groups or counseling. I need Him. Oh what a wonderful Counselor, Lover, Friend, Priest, and King I have in my Husband. He does it all for me. I deserve none of this grace and mercy yet He freely gives it when I look to Him for guidance. Praise His name. Oh for the blood of Jesus. Hallelujah!!

Please do not see that as the speech of a Pharisee. I am a humbled spirit. I ask Him to humble me each day. I ask Him to let me see others through His eyes. I ask Him to let me hear others with His ears. I ask Him to let me touch others with His hands. I want to show others the grace and mercy that has been shown to me. I am taking each and every day one at a time holding His hand. After all, we are not promised tomorrow.

I am so thankful for RMI leading me to His Word and principals. Now I go to Him in all things and my life is SO much easier. I trust Him with everything. "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go," is God's promise to His people. Let us, then, take all our trials, troubles, cares, heartbreaks, requests and situations to Him, and say, "Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do?" We are blessed when each morning we begin our day enquiring of the Lord. Be encouraged : )

~ Pamela in Idaho

★★★★★ “Healing”

I was diagnosed with being depressed years ago and so was every woman in my family and we all accepted this label and took the medication. I was regularly seeing a therapist but that was only to get the medicine because he never was helping, he just asked some questions and then wrote out the medication. I soon realized that the medicine was not working so he would up the dosage or try something new. I soon was not able to sleep so then I started taking sleeping pills. I would wake up in cold seats so full of fear, anxiety, and foreboding. This became so normal for me and my sister that we would discuss it like we were talking about a new dress or shoes. This went on for years and only got worse. I knew I was out of the will of God and being rebellious but I just kept on existing in this life that was so unhappy. I tried to go cold turkey and quit taking the medicine but the side effects caused such anger that I lost my job and became a person that only I can describe as dark. I hated everyone and everything and it showed in everything I did. I tried to go to church but I would get disappointed and just give up and stop going.

God finally got my attention when my marriage fell apart. As I began to seek Him and pray and fast, He began to heal the pain and the hurt that was caused by being abused as a child. He got to the root of what was really causing my pain and the drugs were just a temporary solution. I remember the day He healed me and took all of it away, by this time I was drinking a bottle of wine almost daily and taking sleeping pills and anything else that would help me sleep. The day He spoke to me about my addiction was the day I poured out the wine and threw away the pills. My healing was instant!!

There are times when the enemy will try to bring it back up but I remind him that I am healed and I no longer need those devices.

~Bonita in Georgia RESTORED

★★★★★ “Free from Medication”

I just want to start by thanking my Husband, and my Best Friend!!

For nearly all my adult life I struggled with depression and anxiety, I went from one prescription to another, my doctor even recommended upping my dose by double. Then I knew the Lord and I loved Him, but I did not have a personal relationship with Him so I continued to trust in medicine and my doctor’s recommendations to my shame. At the start of my journey with this amazing ministry, I was on 40mg of Citalopram!! It was that bad that if I had run out of my pills and had to wait to get my next lot, I would experience terrible headaches, sickness, and deep anxiety.

As soon as I began reading the lessons and Encouragers the Lord began to quietly point out that I was depending on medicine and not Him. Over the course of 6 months I requested my medication to be reduced and until a few weeks ago I was down to 10mg, Praise God. I still felt the Lord saying "child why? Why are you not leaning on Me for your peace and happiness?" So against my doctor's wishes, I finished my last dose of tablets and have not had any medication for over 2 weeks now!! I do not have any symptoms I would of had, no headache, no withdrawals, no depression, no anxiety.

Only my GOD could of done this as trust me it was my belief I would not function in society without being on medication. Now I am soooo happy, no depression at all, no anxiety at all and I feel free, I am now 100% depend on God for every part of my life and it is amazing.

I am so grateful for the Lord leading me to this ministry as I dread to think where I would be now without the love, support and encouragement from all the lovely ladies.

Thank you Jesus!!!!!

" In vain you will use many medicines but you shall not be cured." Jeremiah 46:11

~ Kerima in Scotland, UK RMIEW Minister, who can attest to how quickly God can transform us when we are broken and willing to find the relationship that changes us completely.

★★★★★ “How I could’ve been on Drugs”

Hi Ladies, I pray all of you are in the best of health and wealth and praising our Lord Jesus Christ, because He is so good!!!

I am. It is not the easiest thing to do but it is the only thing to do. I have learned and am still learning to look solely to Him. I fail several times, but thank the Lord that He said, the righteous will fall several times and get up each time. Praise Him!!!

I read an email from RMIOU recently asking ladies to send in PR’s relating to how they have been able to resist the downward spiral of depression, amongst other things. Well, I can truly say that if I had not known Jesus, I would’ve been out a long time ago. On several occasions, I contemplated suicide. That was when I didn’t pray and didn’t read God’s Word and promises. I tell you ladies, there is power in the Word! Every time I felt like that I would remember Psalm 23 “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want... He leads me beside still waters,” Oh my goodness, then you get to the part that says, “He prepares a table before me in the PRESENCE of my enemies.” Halleluiah!!!!! He, WAIT FOR IT, “........ANOINTS MY HEAD WITH OIL.” Oh mighty Jesus!!!!

Without fail, every time I felt like slitting my wrists or taking an overdose (when I thought there was really no way out, my husband has rejected me and our two beautiful children) that Psalm came through for me. That was when I didn’t know any other scripture off by heart. Even now when I get silly thoughts I know it’s because I need to dig deeper into all the things of My Lord. Then and only then do the feelings of lowness and darkness disappear.

Oh and never underestimate the power of tongues and praise and worship. Crawling out of bed at the crack of dawn can sometimes be a real challenge. But as I do it, I start praying in tongues and I keep awake and somehow stay awake and become more alert. My mood will also change then from tired and bed please to praise and worship and a lightheartedness that no medication can give.

Speaking of medication, just before I found RMI I had to go to the doctor to ask for help. I was diagnosed with depression based on circumstances and the doctor prescribed some antidepressants, of which the side-effects were, I would feel better but will go back to feeling depressed again thus the dosage will have to increase. Well, sitting in front of the doctor, tears streaming down my face with my two babies on my lap wondering if I would ever be able to cope with the separation and the ow and child, I knew one thing for sure, that Jesus would not want me to go down this road. I knew somehow that I was making a mistake but I knew too little to throw myself into Father’s arms. I wanted to, oh, believe me, I so wanted to, I just didn’t know how.

I got to the pharmacy with the girls and got the drugs. At home I kept looking at them and read about them then finally decided to take one. I went to sleep but the next day I forgot to take more and the next day I forgot again. I had another appointment at the GP to discuss how I was feeling and he was really assessing whether I could look after my children. But, God was in control! I went back and told the doctor the meds were working. He then prescribed more to last me 6 weeks, after which I was to go back for a review. I know I lied, that was bad. But do you ladies know who came into my life that week? RMI !!!

That week I started praying and crying like never before. I had to refill in a Marriage Encouragement and I was holding on for dear life. I knew I needed this ministry to teach me just so I could stay afloat to get better. I did feel better. Much better. I connected with God, I talked all day long. I went for a walk with Jesus for the first time. My circumstances were not perfect but I could tell I was in His will. I was crying loads still but not of hopelessness, it was tears of pain, relief and hurt. But no longer of hopelessness which is where we all are before we find this ministry.

We, all of us, still cry sometimes because of hurt but not hopeless. We get up again, gladly sometimes because our restoration is delayed yet again, but we are not without hope. This is the fundamental difference I think between when we were looking for help and not getting it, instead we got plaster put over our hurt that was not curing the disease. Like Erin says in the book, psychologists (and others) only heal superficially. When we finally got the help, be it RMI or another ministry where Jesus was preached and we were forced to take a hard look at ourselves, we cried but there was hope. We knew almost instinctively that we were being helped and the pus in the sore was getting extracted.

So I was saved from depression by my Husband whom you all know, yes, He is the Lord of Hosts! He is interested in me and listens and listens and I get the biggest hugs and warmth in my heart whenever I spend time with Him and just think about Him. I have been caught giggling to myself because I spoke to Him and something was funny. People always look and I sort of just walk off, smiling 🙂

I realise that I can go on and on but I have to stop now. I give all praise to my Lord and Saviour, the Lord of Hosts.

Stay blessed!!!

~Yola in the UK

★★★★★ “Healed not Medicated”

I would like to share how the Lord has been working in me since my storm began. When my EH left all I did was cry. I cried all the time. In the morning, at work, while walking in the street, at a department store when I saw couples shopping, in the shower, and every night before going to bed. It was unbearable the amount of crying I did. I cried for months. My body and even my face ached. That’s when I realized I was depressed because I did not understand the amount of crying I did at any time, anywhere and all the time for months. This was not the person I used to be.

Through this ordeal, I did seek God and prayed and pleaded to be healed, to be happy, and to stop the endless crying. One day it did happen. I no longer cried. It must have been sometime in the summer. I also noticed the crying had stopped when I went to get a medical checkup with my internist. I explained to him all that I was going through since I had some minor health issues, and when I told him about me, he was like “oh my gosh you were depressed. How are you feeling now? Were you working all this time? You needed to be on medication! Do you want some now?” I told the doctor that I was now fine. I no longer cry. I felt so much better that I no longer cried like that anymore or felt pain in my body or face. God had healed me. Those depression commercials are so right when they say depression hurts, it really is true. And only God can heal those hurts. Medication just numbs us.

To add more to this praise of being healed, during this time I was preparing for allergy season, as I get allergies every year when spring occurs, and to my surprise, nothing happened. Over and over I praise the Lord for healing me, listening and answering my prayers. I am so thankful that I never turned to medicate it and instead was healed.

Thank you, my Dear Lord, My Savior, My Husband who takes my tears and does not forsake me and heals me!

~Tania in New York

★★★★★ “Healing After 14 Years”

God is so wonderful. My mother died 14 years ago and although my father died 18 years ago, it was so difficult for me to get over my mother's death. It happened only 3 weeks before my marriage. Around this time I would be sad and depressed and unnecessarily cruel to my husband. He wouldn't know what is going on, I would get angry because how can he not know, and when I finally scream to him what is wrong, he would always comfort me. Yes, ladies, that was me! My husband knew a woman the world never saw. How can I ever blame him for leaving her if I did not even want to live with her?

So this year, I had my Heavenly Husband to depend on. It was laid on my heart a few weeks before the anniversary of my mother's death that I had to go visit her grave (I have never been there in these 14 years). I was always good at pretending she never died and sometimes I would catch myself talking about her in the present tense.

So the day after the anniversary of her death, my husband had the children for the morning and it was the ideal time for me to go. I took my Bible and made the trip. I sat in front of her gravestone knowing she was not there, but ladies do you know who was there? My Lord. I could feel His presence in the warm breeze that was blowing and I sat there reading my Psalms, crying and talking to God.

After a lot of crying I asked God, why is it so difficult for me to get over my mother's death. I always thought it was because we planned my wedding together and she had even bought my gifts already (although I did not know it at the time). God said no. He showed me something I had not thought of. I was at the hospital when my mother died but we were waiting in the car for her to be transported to another hospital so we could follow the ambulance, but she died before they had a chance to put her in the ambulance. Something I was holding on to but could never get myself to admit is that I felt guilty for waiting in the car because she died alone. She died without someone holding her hand. When I realized this and could say it out loud, I could feel peace come over me. God is indeed my Mighty Counselor! No therapist could ever have healed me in just a morning at a graveside I have no need to visit anymore.

Furthermore, as I was sitting there reading the Bible, God gave me wonderful verse. The pages flew in the wind and as I put my hands on the pages to look for my place it was open at Isaiah 49:20 The NIV says: "The children born during your bereavement will yet say in your hearing "this place is too small for us; give us more space to live in". I would like to translate directly out of my Afrikaans Bible. The first part in my Bible says "The children you do not have now". What a wonderful promise as I asked God a while ago that I would really like to have two more children.

You know God never disappoints. Sometimes His answer is no. I got a very clear no this morning for something I asked last night and God even gave me a reason for His no. James 4:3 "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

He is just so wonderful. Even correcting me gently through His word. I am overflowing with love for Him.

~ Yvonne

★★★★★ “Depression”

In the summer of 1997 I lost my father. That year would soon contain some of the darkest days of my life. I starting seeing a mental therapist and got put on medication for depression. I stayed on medication for the next three years then decided to take myself off of them. All went well until my I lost my dog at which time I found myself back on meds. After couple of years I took myself off the meds again and was fine until I lost my second dog, back on meds I went. Now some would say this is crazy but these two dogs were my constant companions, they were members of my family. My earthly husband had always said I put the dogs before him, and as I reflect back on those years, I would have to agree with him, although I did not see it that way then. Well, with my history of depression, and the medication rollercoaster I allowed myself on, when my earthly husband started talking divorce, I once again fell apart and turned to medication. The times I complied with medication, I never felt whole, there was always a feeling of numbness, sluggishness or of not caring about anything and I would just sleep a lot. I stayed on medication for three years, struggling to cope with my life crashing down around me.

I started with RMI in January 2013, and by May of this year, I convinced my mental doctor there was no need for me to be on meds. He was reluctant but said I could come off of the meds, however, he was giving me a prescription and if I felt things starting to be too much, I was to get the prescription filled and contact him. It has been six months with no meds and no mental doctor visits; I feel better than I ever have. I remember the day I sat in his office telling him I wanted to stop the meds. My heart was so happy and upbeat, I felt that I could conquer the world. I told him I was building my relationship with God and had a good support foundation. I said all of this with a smile on my face, an upbeat attitude and happiness dripping from my heart. I knew had he told me to stay on the meds, I would not have listened, I had already made up my mind to come off the meds.

It feels different this time, than the other three times I stopped taking meds. I know it is because I now have God in my life. I feel stronger and I feel hopeful; although I am in the midst of the situation that resulted in me starting on the meds in the first place. When I feel sad or overwhelmed, I pray to God and thank Him for all that He has done for me and will continue to do for me. I am focusing on God and my relationship with Him, not on my situation. I feel much better now than when I was on medication and dealing with all the side effects.

God is an awesome God, always there for us in any situation, to love and bless us abundantly. I thank God for taking care of and loving me unconditionally.

~ Jo in Illinois

★★★★★ “Beauty for Ashes”

I am just so blessed that I found this ministry. First and foremost I don't know where I would be if I had not “stumbled” on this ministry. It is my first time to write a praise report but there is so much to praise God for. I found RMI WHEN I WAS TORN and broken a few months (three) after my EH made a hurtful confession after he could not hide anything from me any more, and along with that told me how he felt about me and how we could never be happy together. Now I feel more complete and whole for my hope was on sinking sand but now it is on the Solid ROCK. One night out of pain I got a knife and gave him and I told him to kill me instead of treating me that way. That was after I had contemplated suicide, then I asked God to kill me so that way no one would know for what and why I was dead. PTL!!! I am ALIVE today more vibrant than ever and longing for God.

I was four months pregnant when this journey begun. In that pregnancy I lost fifteen kilograms and by the time I was back to work from maternity leave, everyone was asking me how I managed to lose all that weight. I was speechless, I did not know I had lost all that weight though I knew I had shed some weight that I had struggled to lose for many years. I have three children and this was my fourth pregnancy but the child birth, in the absence of my husband, was amazingly a very short labor! The nurses were the best and I got a very comfortable room in the hospital. I felt the Love of God. My baby, without any exaggeration, is the most jolly baby I ever had yet. Throughout my pregnancy I cried. I had never cried so much in my life and was afraid my baby would be a moody boy, but PTL of all the children I have, he has taught me how to laugh and praise God. I have never seen another baby that laughs, dances and claps hands like my baby. He looks for an opportunity in everything to laugh and be joyful. Surely he is a blessing and he teaches me to rejoice.

God had clearly spoken to me in a dream about my situation and told me to rejoice and not to look at my circumstances, but I worshiped my pain and rejection. I was so blind that I thought it was unrealistic for me to rejoice at that moment. Then I met RMI!! YOU GAVE ME GUIDELINES ON HOW TO DO SO MANY THINGS GOD HAD SPOKEN TO ME ABOUT. Without RMI I think I would have failed and got stuck in that pain. BUT thank You Erin for letting God use you this way. You have really encouraged me and brought me out, guiding me as in the hand of God.

Discovering certain things about my responsibility in this situation has been very painful, but PTL I know He has changed me. I have been plagued by falling many times because I didn't want to accept certain correction and besides that, I don't know how to do things any other way. But now I am deeply yearning for God to pour out a spirit of obedience up on me. All I want now is to do His will. In this journey my dear sisters, in all the praise Reports I have read, He is longing to do this to all who accept to drink from Him for Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever!! Praise His name forever!!

~Alexy in Uganda

★★★★★ “Delivered from Anti-Depressants”

I've been using an anti-depressant since 2000 after the birth of my youngest daughter. I've tried several times to stop using the drugs, but I got so sick that I always just went back to using the pills. In 2008 I felt that the Lord had delivered me from depression, but the enemy kept on convincing me that I cannot be without the medication.

Last year when my journey started with my FH telling me he wanted a divorce, everyone thought that I would have a break down since I was so "depressed". But I just turned to the Lord and asked Him to help me. So my medication wasn't altered at all. Then as the months passed I started asking the Lord how is it possible that I'm in this trial but I don't really feel or act depressed. So I started trusting Him for my healing.

Since September I started to decrease the medication slowly. Then at the beginning of January at our school, we lost two colleagues in a terrible car accident. The enemy wanted me to believe that I should increase the medication again because how else would I cope with this great loss. But I choose to trust my Father in Heaven! So on 30 January, I just said to the Lord "thank You that You've completely healed me from depression" and I didn't take my medication. Yes, I did experience some symptoms but I refused to listen to the enemy because my God has healed me - this is why Jesus died on the cross so that I could be healed. I asked a few friends to keep on praying and trusting the Lord with me to get through the first few days. And praise be to my Jesus, it is now 18 days that I've been without my medication!!

I am so thankful and blessed for what the Lord has done in my life! Especially as I'm on this journey. The Lord is so faithful! And I am so excited about what He is doing in my life.

~Illoïs in South Africa

★★★★★ “Spiritual Lenses”

The Lord is truly my Great Physician and rather than it being something I just say, I can now testify from personal experience that He really is my Great Physician.

Before I begun on the RJ, my life revolved around my EH in many ways. I would plan my life around him, concern myself with him, worry endlessly which brought me much anxiety and pain. What's more, I could feel that this was not the most healthy way to live but it seemed like I had no control over it. It had become the norm because I had been doing it for so long and on top of that, I believed I had to do it, to keep things ticking along. In fact, I didn't know there was any other way.

Not surprisingly, over time the pressure started to manifest physically and naturally. I found it hard to sleep, I was continuously anxious whether at work or at home, I started getting migraines, I had miscarriages, I was very short-tempered not just with others, but also with myself. I could feel my health declining rapidly but had no control over it. And just to mention, nothing was changing with regard to my EH even though in my own mind I was employing a strategy that I thought was helping. In fact, it was the complete opposite.

Things came to a head when I collapsed at work due to what felt like a burst blood vessel in my head and had to be driven off in an ambulance and admitted overnight for keyhole surgery on my spine to eliminate a tumor, or growth. I knew then that things were not right, but still, after I was discharged (with nothing diagnosed - which was a sign in itself) I stupidly continued in my way and continued to suffer migraines, panic attacks and anxieties.

It wasn't until I came to RMI that God, my Great Physician, started the healing process in my life. He slowly allowed my EH to loathe me and leave, and then open heart surgery began on my heart. He then prescribed spiritual lenses as my sight was completely ruined. These spiritual lenses were strong at first but gave me great perspective and changed the way I viewed myself, my relationships and everything around me (I still wear them now : )

The prescription He gave me was His Word, to consume it daily as a minimum, but as often as required. This prescription had no negative side effects, only positive, one of which was peace, perspective and joy. (I still take this prescription now 🙂

Regarding my migraines, I don't have them anymore unless I fail to take my prescription regularly. In fact, I use my infrequent migraines as a sign that I require more of my prescription or a polish/change of my spiritual lenses.

I know my Great Physician is not finished with me yet, and I love the fact that I don't need to make a formal appointment to see Him in His capacity of Physician or Counselor. I love that He works on an 'open door' policy with me and I have a personal direct line to Him. He is fast becoming my Husband now and so the stresses, anxieties, and panic attacks are no longer necessary because He is also my Prince of Peace.

I cannot begin to emphasize the importance of going to see this Great Physician, telling Him your story and issues and letting Him take care of you like no other Doctor really ever can. I would not say that Doctor's don't have their place, but I would recommend seeing this ONE FIRST and taking it from there. I can testify that I am healed, continually being healed and free.

~ Nicci in the United Kingdom

★★★★★ “Stop Medical Treatment”

Jesus delivered me from depression with His Word. When I graduated at grammar school I ended up in depression because I was exhausted! Nothing could make me happy, I didn´t know what to live for. I went to psychologist and she ordered drugs to me. At that time I found lectures based on God´s Word. After approximately one year of listening to them I was able to stop my medical treatment and I felt all right. And I am content and "clear" till this very day - I praise You my Husband!!

God and His Word are cure for everything difficult in our society. Till the time I met this fellowship I didn´t have a clue how to apply these principles in my marriage. Thank you RMIEW for showing me the truth. Now my only desire and joy is to be in Him - not only in the times of tests and difficulties, but in every while of my life.

Thank You my Husband for helping me to understand what is the most important in my life - YOU! Thank You for dealing with me such a long time. I praise You my Love.

~ Martina in Slovakia