Please leave some encouragement for this bride who filled out an MEQ "Marriage Encouragement Questionnaire." Before commenting, please remember to:
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- Speak to your Husband, your Maker, to know what He wants to say to this brokenhearted bride.
- Keep it SHORT.
- Encourage sharing 1-2 Promises.
- Bridge to the course He used to lead you along your Restoration Journey.
- After 3 MM Comments and the comments are CLOSED for this session, please continue to encourage by confirming what the ministers are saying by replying beneath their MM Comments.
“Every fact is to be confirmed by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” 2 Corinthians 13:1 - When YOU are the final 3 Cord of comments supporting o/o/o/ this bride, please CLOSE this session and paste this at the end: "Thank you, we have a 3 Cord of comments supporting \o/\o/\o/ this bride. This session is now CLOSED."
Please Note: We ask that you reply to this post ONLY if you are an IOU Student working towards qualifying for your Marriage Minister Certificate.
Next to your name, we must see your IOU Level, for example:
| I am: |
| Female |
| Country: |
| United States |
| What language do you speak? |
| English |
| I'm here: |
| Seeking restoration for my marriage. |
| What is your current marital status? Please be sure to choose the one that BEST describes your situation. |
| Married and my husband lives with me. |
| Have you read the book "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage?" |
| No |
| How did you find our ministry? |
| Online testimony |
| Now, please tell us about your situation and why you have come to us for help and what has your husband/partner said are the main issues or problems he has with you and your relationship? |
| I never wanted to get married of have kids because of my own experiences My husband and I met in middle school we both grew up Christian households my parents married 35years now and him raised by a single mom. My husband grew up hoing to church 4 times a week and was a practicing believer when we began seriously dating in 2014. This drew me back in as a believer as I was always little faith and a skeptic. My husband was my best friend the funniest person I know as well as the kindest friend. I kept him in the friend zone throughout most of high school because I always told him I was too damaged which he still resents me for since I dated two other people in high school and not him. we have since been married 8years and together for 9 1/2 for 7 of those years we have dealt with sick parents the death of a parent being financially responsible for parents having kids financial issues. i have depression and anxiety and I was molested as a child so i struggle with physical affection my husband has always had a bad temper but declined therapy so has never been diagnosed with anything he loves affection and will want to display it everywhere but if i decline he feels like it is him. During disagreements if I bring up something he would get mad and storm out for days on end but no matter the disagreements I took him back I was the one who would make plans for dates or vacations spontaneous outings or gifts made holidays and birthdays special and I always felt taken for granted especially with the way he would speak to me so after 7 years in 2021 after he cursed me out at dinner and threatened to leave as he had always done I left the restaurant after begging him to get into our car he insisted he would not he had a plan to leave in that moment I thought about how this cycle was going to affect our two small children 2 and 13 months at the time and i decided to let him leave i got home first and put all his things to the door when he finally got home I explained that he didn’t ned to come further he could grab his things and go like he planned he looked very shocked since I had never called his bluff this way. He left and in three days he was back explaining that the place he thought he could stay he no longer could I told him he could stay but I made up my mind I still wanted him to file for the divorce like he said he would he said he didn’t want a divorce anymore and I stonewalled him for that whole year we were not intimate and I was not being a Godly spouse my husband chased after me and i would turn him down I wanted to make him pay for how he had treated me and see how he had taken me for granted but vengeance belongs to the Lord. Alot of our many fight was me pushing my husband to earn more since we had two kids and he never made more than $14ph when i became unexpectedly pregnant with our second child i had urged him to find better pay and I felt like he wasnt trying he played his video game a lot and in 2023 we suddenly had to move and our rent was higher at our new apartment this was stressful being a mom and the one responsible for juggling our check book and everything else I was the breadwinner and I mentioned this to him in arguments about him need to find better work and Im understanding now that I emasculated him with the way I said it it was not my intent I was only worried about us as a family being ok so in November of 2023 my husband randomly got accepted to work for the post office however since we have no childcare I had to risk my job and stay home with the kids my husband now has decided he has checked out of the marriage because of how I made him feel for the past three years hardly acknowledging how we both ended up here my husband has being friendly with female coworkers I checked his phone logs and he speaks to them all day while they do routes they buy each other lunch and I put a tracker in the car and he has been lying about where he is and the time he gets off me doing this has pushed him further but we are still intimate but he is hot and cold i question him sometimes a lot because now im insecure he tells me he could never cheat but based off of his lies idk I dont ever see him doing that but again idk who he is anymore sometimes when we get into arguments he says again how he is checked out and wants a divorce but as i said the next day after we go right back to kiss we are intimate he takes me out to eat he brings me food and he said he still loves me and wants me but doesn’t want to be married and im so confused I been praying and crying to God to soften his heart I know I went about things the wrong way it was not my place to punish him I was just so mad. I feel like a robot because no I do not work I watch the kids all day and i am lonely I have been having suicidal thoughts and I feel like it would be better if i am not around my children wont be burdened by my MI or healing from a broken home and my husband would be free of me. Idk what to do to think positively other than to pray but it always ends up with me sobbing and pleading with God and I just dont know anymore |
| Please use the space below to simply speak to God, in your own words, pouring your heart out to Him. |
| Father God I thank you for hearing me and answering me as you always do. I ask that if there is any un forgiveness in my heart lord I release it and ask that you please renew my mind and my heart so that I can walk in forgiveness. Lord you said in Matthew 19:6 what you joined together, let no one separate I am standing and believing in your word and your will for my Marriage I believe that nothing is too hard for you and that you have softened some of the hardest of hearts and you will do it again in my marriage and that my marriage will be restored. I know that you will bless my home and my children and they will see a Godly example of love and marriage you are a God of resurrection yes nothing is too hard for you lord. I and standing on your word lord despite what it looks like in the physical I know that you are working your word will not return to you void and my marriage will be restored and it will be a testament to the glory of the lord. I cancel every distraction and evil plan from the enemy And I will keep my eyes on you lord in the midst of the storm you have the final say. I know that you have already answered me you will is done all is well I thank you lord. Amen |
| In order for us to minister more effectively to you, please check what concerns apply to you: |
| Suicidal. Depressed. Abused or molested as a child. |
| Finally, please choose how you would like us to conduct your Marriage Evaluation from the choices below. |
| Posting your questionnaire Privately to an assigned IOU Marriage Ministry Student. Sample |
Dearest Bride, it is with tears in my eyes that I read this today. So many of the things that I read here seem like it could almost be my life years ago.
First of all, I was molested as a child and it influenced so many of the decisions I made in my life. It is so very important for you to talk to the Lord about this so you are able to heal and most importantly forgive. I cannot stretch how important forgiveness is in the healing process. You don’t have to face your offender(s). This can be between you and the Lord.
This lesson is very important:
https://hopeatlast.com/c1/d11-chapter-9-gentle-and-quiet-spirit/
Another very important thing is to stop snooping. Stop trying to catch your husband in the act, you are driving him further away. What you need to do now, is stop looking at your circumstances and your marriage, yes it will be difficult to do, but so important. Start concentrating on your relationship with the Lord. I was suicidal, I thought that the world would be better without me. I started reading the Psalms and Proverbs every day and it lifted me out of that cloud of depression. Here is a reading plan that works amazing. Please keep to it even though some days the enemy will try to convince you that you don’t want to. This is a spiritual battle for your life and you need to surrender and trust that the Lord knows what He is doing.
https://encouragingwomen.org/psalms-proverbs/
Please do our course and complete our journals, pour your heart out, and let Him heal you. I have some suggestions for you, but I don’t want to overwhelm you. I will give you some links to read, but join our Telegram group and we will give you more suggestions:
https://loveatlast.org/hhm/tdh/
I see you have not read How God Can Restore Your Marriage yet, please start reading it.
https://hopeatlast.com/c1/
My dear, know that with God, absolutely nothing is impossible. Start filling yourself with His word and you will see the change in you, your children, and your husband. Know that each woman here, loves you very much and we know the hurt and pain you are going through, but we also know that there is so much more that you are missing out on. Start living the abundant life like we all are. I know this is going to be a journey and at times you feel you would want to give up, but push through that and you will see the finish line. Let the Lord become all in your life and see how He makes you into a new person. When you look back, you would not believe it.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Ex14:14.
When I was going through my restoration journey, the Lord used “be still” a lot to me. I would repeat it to myself often while on the phone or in person and wanting to complain or cry to my husband. The Lord would tell me “Be still, Hope, be still” I also was not intimate with my husband for a very long time using it as an ultimatum. I was full of pain, sadness & bitterness. It’s hard sometimes but know that the Lord has all the control and with Him ALL things are possible. We must draw near to Him and surrender.
One of my favorite verses I would remind myself of what love is…it’s not full of pain, sadness or bitterness but: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Also please read the Restore your Marriage book (first chapter here https://encouragingbookstore.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/How-God-Can-and-Will-Restore-Your-Marriage-Ch1.pdf) it’s what first helped me along this journey and as Yvonne suggested please start the courses and journal.
I have felt this brokenness before and also did a lot of tracking and snooping. I know you’re in a lot of pain and I know how heartbreaking it can be but you must put the Lord first and give up control and give it to Him. https://hopeatlast.com/c2/d15-the-freedom-of-letting-go/
He can heal any broken heart and I encourage you to trust that God will work in your husbands heart.
My husband and I have been restored 2x. The first time He said he loved me but wasn’t “in love” with me anymore and left, the second time I told him to leave. It’s hard and tiring just know that the Lord hates divorce but has all the control and with Him ALL things are possible.
Dear precious bride I am so very sorry about all the hurt you have gone through.
All the snooping, all the trust issues, sounds as if you were writing about my life because I did the snooping, the mistrust, even telling him to get a better job, but it made me so tired. So I want to encourage you to please let go of everything and give it over to our Darling Lord and trust Him.
“The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit— a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God. “For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back. In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you,” says the LORD your Redeemer.” I54:6-8 https://www.bible.com/bible/111/ISA.54.6-8.NIV
I agree with Yvonne please do Course 1 – https://hopeatlast.com/c1/ and to please fill in the journal at the end of each lesson, because there you will get the chance to pour out your heart to our Darling Lord.
Because you mentioned you were molested, I want to encourage you to please listen to this podcast I did with my own sister, who was molested while I was with her in the car – https://encouragingwomen.org/healing-love/ and because you mentioned that you are suicidal, I want to encourage you to please listen how I found my healing – https://encouragingwomen.org/alive-with-a-purpose/
I really want to encourage you to please work on a real intimate relationship with our Darling Lord, put all your focus on Him, all your trust in Him, He is the One that can bring restoration in every area of your life and I am excited because I know you are going to come and share testimonies with us.
“Thank you, we have a 3 Cord of comments supporting \o/\o/\o/ this bride. This session is now CLOSED.”