Day 3 Chapter 3 “Have Faith”

Do You Have Faith or Fear?

Fear will be one of the greatest attacks that you will need to overcome. Romans 12:21 tells us “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Fear will steal your faith and make you totally vulnerable to the enemy. When you listen to all that others tell you about what your husband is doing or not doing, instead of keeping your eyes on the Lord and His Word, you will fail to focus on Him and you will begin to sink!

Have faith in God’s ability and His desire to restore your marriage. Again, read the testimonies of restored marriages, and believe that yours will be added to theirs!

An example of faith: Peter. Read the account of Peter in Matthew 14 starting in verse 22. Jesus asked Peter to walk on water. If He is asking you to walk on water, are you going to get out of the boat? Watch when Peter cries out to Jesus—it is always followed by the word immediately. Immediately, Jesus spoke to them and told them to take courage. When Peter began to sink and he cried out to the Lord, “immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him”! (Matt. 14:31).

Fear. A question we must ask ourselves is “why did Peter sink?” “But seeing the wind, he became afraid” (Matt. 14:30). If you look at your situation and at the battle that is raging before you, you will sink! Peter took his eyes off of the Lord and the result was fear! It says “he became afraid.” If you take your eyes off of the Lord, you will become fearful.

Instead, look to Jesus and rise above your storm. When you are in an airplane in the midst of a storm, it is very bumpy when you are climbing above the clouds. Once the plane is above those black clouds, the flight is smooth, the sun is shining, and you can almost see and feel God there! Amazingly, from that vantage point, the clouds below are white and soft!

Your testimony. Another very important point is to see what happened to the others who were in the boat. (Did you forget that there were others who didn’t get out of the boat?) It says, “And those who were in the boat worshiped Him saying, ‘You are certainly God’s Son!’” (Matt. 14:33). Are you willing to allow God to use you to show His goodness, His loving kindness, His protection, and to draw others to Him? There is a great reward! This is evangelism. Others will come to you when they are having trouble because they have seen your peace despite your circumstances.

Overcome

The wind stopped. “And when they got into the boat, the wind stopped” (Matt. 14:32). Your battle will not go on forever. This test was needed to make Peter strong enough to be the “Rock” of which Jesus had spoken (Matt. 16:18). Satan (and others working for him) will tell you that you will stay in the trial unless you get away or give in and give up.

God never intended us to remain “in the valley of the shadow of death.” In Psalm 23, it says that we go “through the valley of the shadow of death.” Satan wants us to think that God wants us to live there! He wants to paint a “hopeless” picture! God is our hope, and hope is the faith in His Word that has been sown in our hearts.

Faith

Abraham. A second example is when Abraham was 90 years old and still without the child, God had promised him. It says, “He hoped against hope” (Rom. 4:18). Isn’t that good? Even when all hope was gone, he continued to believe God and take Him at His Word. We must do the same.

Act on the faith that you have. “And He said to them, ‘Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible to you’” (Matt. 17:20).

If you lack faith. If you lack faith, you should ask God. There is a battle, even for our faith. “Fight the good fight of faith . . .”  (1 Tim. 6:12). And “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith . . .” (2 Tim. 4:7) “And He [Jesus] could do no miracle there except that He laid His hands upon a few sick people and healed them. And He wondered at their unbelief” (Mark 6:5). When the Lord lays His hands on you and your marriage, will He marvel at your unbelief?

Imitators of faith. We would do well to imitate those in Scripture who exhibited faith (You can find the “Hall of Faith” in Hebrews, chapter 11). We need to act on God’s promises: “but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises” (Heb. 6:12). There are many women who have followed the principles found in this book who have had victory over troubled or even broken marriages. Their testimonies will encourage you in your faith. Believe as the song says, “What He’s done for others, He’ll do for you!” Read all the incredible testimonies of marriages that God restored on our website at EncouragingWomen.org.

Doubt Destroys

Double-minded or doubting. You must not be double-minded. Your mind must not waver or doubt God. “But let him ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways” (James 1:6–8). “I hate those who are double-minded, but I love Thy law” (Ps. 119:13).

If you have trouble with double-mindedness, you need to read and meditate on God’s Word, which is the only truth! You must also separate yourself from anyone who continues to tell you something contrary to your desire to restore your marriage. You must also always speak the truth to everyone about your faith in God’s ability and His desire to restore your marriage.

Faith without works. “But someone may well say, ‘You have faith, and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works’” (James 2:18). Show others that you have faith by your actions. If you believe that your husband will return home, act like it. Leave his side of the closet empty, his side of the bed empty, his drawers empty—and make sure you wear your wedding ring! “But are you willing to recognize, you foolish fellow, that faith without works is useless?” (James 2:20). If you believe that what you are praying for is going to happen, start treating that person as if they were changed!

Don’t get ahead of God. Don’t move. Don’t buy a house thinking it’s for you and your husband when he comes home. Instead, wait on this side of the Jordan—don’t enter the Promised Land without your husband! God is a God of waiting. Urgency is usually from the enemy.

Firm in your faith. Remind yourself of those who overcame and thus received the abundant life God promised. “But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world” (1 Pet. 5:9). Read and reread the testimonies on our website and in our book By the Word of Their Testimony. Keep the testimonies of others in the front of your mind. Share these testimonies with your family and friends who doubt that your marriage can be saved or that God is unable or unwilling to change your husband. (He changed you didn’t He?)

How to Increase Your Faith

The Word. How can we gain faith or increase our faith? “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the Word of Christ” (Rom. 10:17). Read His Word and the testimonies of others. Surround yourself with faithful women who will believe with you. Those who have stood for God will teach you and hold you up. Many times we find that when you feel like you are almost out of faith, you should give away what little you have left. Call someone you sense needs encouraging and give her the rest of your faith. You will hang up the phone rejoicing because God will fill you full of faith. Read 1 Kings 17:12–15 to remember the widow who gave her last cake to Elijah and the miracle she received!

So many come to us for help and fail to reap a restored marriage because they feel they are unable to sow into anyone else’s life as they are struggling to save their own marriage. This is unbiblical and contrary to God’s principles. Get yourself an Encouragement Partner and help her restore her marriage. You can also start an Encouragement Course in your home or church if you have leadership abilities. God used me (and others) powerfully as we ministered to others in our pain and lack—and God blessed our efforts with restored marriages!

Obedience. Don’t forget that obedience to God is paramount to victory. Don’t forget what Jesus said: “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven; but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven. And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS’” (Matt. 7:21, 23). If you practice or keep doing what you now know is contrary to the biblical principles found in this book, your marriage will not be restored!

In God’s will. If your heart convicts you that you are not in God’s will and that you are not following His principles in this book, then of course you will have no confidence and no faith to receive your request from the Lord. Ask God to “break” you so your will becomes His will.

You MUST Wait

Wait for His timing. God seems to work on one thing at a time. We must work with Him in His timing. This does not mean we need to wait to pray; it only means we need to wait for God to change the situation at the proper time. Thank God that He doesn’t dump (through conviction) all my sins on top of me all at once! Just use the time while you wait to pray. Many times the battle will continue to rage on your behalf. There may be many battles that must be fought (and won) in the war against your marriage. Just remember, “When the battle is the Lord’s, the victory is ours!”

We have the comfort of knowing that He hears us immediately, but the response may seem slow. In the book of Daniel, an angel spoke to him and gave us these insights: “. . . From the first day that you set your heart on understanding this and on humbling yourself before God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to your words. But the prince of Persia was withstanding me for twenty-one days” (Dan. 10:12–13). It may take some time to win the battles, so do not become weary. “But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good” (2 Thess. 3:13).

Personal commitment: to allow God to change me. “Based on what I have learned from God’s Word, I commit to seeking God and His Word to increase my faith in His ability to restore my marriage. I will fight fear by keeping my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith.”