Day 22 Heavenly Husband

“Mr. God”
The Journey finding
My Heavenly Husband

• There are some who don’t believe in God.

• Others who only know a God who doesn’t care about us, the God of the Old Testament.

• Others know God as their Father in differing degrees; some fear Him, others know Him as kind and loving.

• But it’s not until you know and experience having a “Heavenly Husband” HH that you will no longer long or need an earthly husband.

* Without the Lord as your Husband—you will continue to long and look for a man and stay vulnerable to wounds not intended for His bride—YOU!

“Mr. God”

I’m going to start this lesson with the PR “praise report” below, which is a common mindset that prevents women from experiencing the Lord as their Husband.

The PR actually helped us pinpoint and understand how your upbringing can influence or block the relationship that each of you deserves—having a Heavenly Husband. In her praise report, Yvonne referred to God, rather than her HH like many women use (but even when we see women use HH, we often don’t see the kind of close Heavenly Husband relationship in her life— but we will explain more about this later).

So, used by permission, we want you to see what He showed us, and what led to Yvonne finding her Heavenly Husband, which she ended her praise report with:

I want my heart to be hidden so deep within my Lord. Do you?

Each time she used the name God, He told us to put Mr. in front of it and change the font to red.

I want to Praise Mr. God for His love and faithfulness and protection.

In the beginning of the month Mr. God was constantly showing me through His word that He is my protection. That I should find rest in Him. That I should hide in Him. So I asked, Mr. God is there something coming?

So immediately I started fearing instead of trusting. It took me a few days to allow Mr. God to calm my fears and just in time for a few trials that came one after another.

So when all the trials came and some were just a series of small things that went wrong and others were things that I really hoped would not happen to me. Let me just tell you about a few so you can understand:

This all happened within a week of each other. My EH wanted to come back and went to break up with the OW and never did. Returned the next day to fetch the children as if nothing happened. Then suddenly he took the children to meet her without me knowing and he went with her on holiday to our honeymoon spot and came back and told me about it. Through all this my dog got bitten and almost died of the blood loss and my electricity was cut off for 2 days.

In all of this Mr. God was faithful letting me know exactly what was coming and when it happened I wasn't surprised.

I knew Mr. God was there carrying me through the worst and as I was in a period of fasting, I knew I could trust Him for everything.

As I was fasting and everything happened around me, I was growing closer and closer to Mr. God. I was clinging to Him with everything I had. Every time I cried out, Mr. God would comfort me with His word.

During this time Mr. God was also showing me a sin I committed and although I did ask Mr. God for forgiveness, I had to confess to my EH. For the longest time I tried to avoid it. Ignoring that small still voice of Mr. God. I couldn't anymore and did the right thing last night. Mr. God showed me that all that kept me from confessing was my own pride and Mr. God had to break that out of me. He made everything go smooth and I so love Mr. God for making it so easy on me when I really did not deserve it as I have sinned against Mr. God.

Ladies, fasting is so important if you want a close relationship with Mr. God and to be honest, trials is also necessary for a close relationship with Mr. God. Mr. God wants to bless us so much more than we think or dream but for me it is more important to do His will because I want to spend eternity with Him.

In the last few weeks I have learned so many valuable lessons. One of them was the importance of putting all my trust in Him and not man. The Lord is so precious to me. Without Him this road I am traveling would not have been possible. He has a reason for every little thing that happens to you. You just need to trust that He does. Not feeling but knowing.

I read a wonderful quote today that said: "A woman's heart should be hidden so deep in God that a man will have to find Him before he can find her." So beautiful. I want my heart to be hidden so deep within my Lord. Do you?

And what also revealed to us that she wasn’t just using a different name for the same Person, throughout she is experiencing a “far off” God, who is waiting to judge her and the rest of the world.  I so love Mr. God for making it so easy on me when I really did not deserve it as I have sinned against Mr. God.

As the Lord’s bride, Yvonne would not think like this, but would simply be grateful for her Husband’s love, not contemplating whether she deserved it or not, nor how she “sinned.”

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love"—1 John 4:18

This means, if you don’t have a relationship with Him as a Husband like Yvonne didn’t have, and instead you too have a “far off” God, then it makes it very difficult or nearly impossible to let go of your EH “earthly husband.”

Most of you realized that the coldness your husband had towards you was due to the new woman he found to replace you. Most likely your husband would not have rejected you IF you were all he had or could have, right? So your husband was sure to get someone (or many women) who willingly would fulfill the needs a man has.

It’s the same with you, if you are NOT able to get your needs met (to feel loved and secure and provided for and listened to and understood) you, too, will never ever be able to fully let go of your EH—which shows up in how much you talk about him. It’s very much like a teenage girl who talks and thinks and writes and dreams about the guy she likes (especially a guy who doesn’t like her) does!  And you know from being a teenager that when some guy knows you like him, he is often more cruel.

It’s the same with a husband. It wasn’t until my husband and many other women (now with restored husbands) sensed their wives were no longer interested and could sense she was “in love” with someone else that things changed. And as we say in many lessons, even if you say and profess you’ve let go, it’s not until a EH sees it in his wife’s face that “she’s in love” and “in love with Someone else” that it gets his attention. And no amount of professing can change it. It’s something that is deep down that you can’t pretend. Even we can clearly see it in a PR when you can’t stop yourself from the mentioning of your EH and your focus is still on events that are the most important to you—because they involve him.

What helped Yvonne find her HH is what we wrote to her:

1/28/14 Morning Yvonne,

While SG about how to help you in your RJ the Lord led me to this verse:

“And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you...’” (Matt. 7:21, 23). This word “knew” is a term of “intimacy” and it's the very same word that was used when a man “knew” his wife in the Bible.

While reading your PR I noticed over and over who you were referring to, God which is like calling Him, Mr. God: Someone you are formally acquainted with but far from having a close intimacy with a Husband.

"Your testimonies also are my delight; they are my counselors"—Psalm 119:24

On Monday, 2/17/14, Daily Encourager “"Burden Lifted!" is a wonderful testimony that I hope will help you overcome this 🙂 so you can be free to really feel you are His bride and will naturally not only call Him by a different name, but in your alone time you may even begin calling Him names like Darling, Sweetheart or something else endearing.

Reread your PR to see the difference, also that your Husband won't break His bride, nor will you feel you don't deserve anything, but instead He'll gently hold you by the hand 🙂 until worthiness is not even a consideration. ~ Erin

Less than 2 weeks later we got another praise report:

2/11/14 “My Beloved is Mine and I am His”

The Lord is good and so very precious to me. I have been on a fast asking the Lord to please show me how I can have more of Him. How I can put Him first in EVERYTHING. During the fast, I went through some trials and now that I look back they were actually not that bad. Oh ye of little faith.

In order for you to really understand what I am talking about I will need to give you some background information. I live in South Africa, the very Southern tip of Africa. In my country we have 11 official languages (no it is not a typing error, 11) of which one is my mother tongue, Afrikaans. The way we are taught to respect elderly people and even strangers is by addressing them as "U" (the closest translation I can get to that would be "thee, thy or thou". So imagine in the English language meeting someone on the street and saying "Hello, how are thee?. (Something out of Shakespeare) LOL.

So, while I was praying to the Lord for guidance to grow closer to Him, I got an email asking me to read through an Afrikaans translation of the first chapter of the RYM so RMIEW could begin having lessons in Afrikaans. So, as the book was already translated, I took the "old translation", the "new translation" and the English version and compared them. What really stood out for me is how the new translation did away with "thee, thou, thy" and replaced it with "you". For example: instead of saying "How God can and will restore THY marriage", it said "How God can and will restore YOUR marriage". I think you get the picture:). Now replacing the "thy" with "you" made it more personal and intimate for me. So there the first seed was planted...

While hoping that my fast would bring me to a closer relationship with my Husband, instead what happened is He started to feel further and further apart. I wrote a Praise Report and these feelings could clearly be seen it the Praise Report. Oh but God...

I got a message from Erin giving me some advice on how the way I addressed the Lord was so formal, like calling Him “Mr. God” and as I read the message again, I prayed for wisdom and suddenly the translation I read came to mind again and I then I found myself asking: In my prayer closet, would I call my Husband "thee", would I call my Best Friend "thy" would I call the Lover of my soul "thou". The answer came back NO every time.

This was a big step for me going against the way I was raised and at first it felt very awkward. What is so strange is that if I would pray in English I would call the Lord You, but in Afrikaans it just felt weird.

Through the leading of the Holy Spirit I persisted and WOW, the change in our relationship. Now I know Him and He knows me!

My dearest dearest Lord, is my Husband who provides for me. He is my Friend to whom I can talk to and share something funny with. He is my Confidant who I can share my secrets with. He is my Counselor when I need wisdom to make a decision. He is my Strong Tower when I need shelter and soooooooooo much more!

Now I can come to His throne with boldness, because I belong there. I can walk with my head held high, not because I am better than others, but because I am a woman filled with the Holy Spirit.

My sins are forgiven and my past is just that, the past. I can use it at reference for my testimony but I won't regret it because the path I was on lead me to Him. Now my future is His.

I can face any trial, not because Jesus is holding my hand, but because His arm is around me and I am resting my head on His shoulder and looking at His face in awe as He is looking lovingly down at me while we walk this path to eternity…

And it’s not just that our ministers understand and embrace this principle— there isn’t a more important lesson than this one “Finding My Heavenly Husband” because it’s what my entire ministry has been about. From day one, the focus and desire of my heart has been to share with other women Who will change her life and replace her sorrow with joy!

Psalm 30:5—

”Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning.”  

Since becoming the Lord’s bride and still being called to have a ministry that reads horribly painful details from women who are abandoned, brokenhearted, used, abused, neglected and cheated on—it means I’d either have to be thick-skinned to be able to read them without becoming sad and depressed. Or, I can see the good in it. Instead of being sad, I am instead excited—because I know there IS a solution, I know there IS hope, and I know that each and EVERY woman who comes to us in despair and rejected—can be comforted and LOVED the way she deserves to be LOVED— by a Man who is longing to be her Husband!

Yet, the same trouble that most of them are facing, is the same issue that we and He are facing.

Most women come to RMIEW because there is an OW in her EH life, while, at the very same time, each of you are committing the same unfaithfulness, with an OM. Your other man is your earthly husband, your EH, that you can’t stop speaking about, wanting to be with, wanting to be restored to, yet, is still hurting and rejecting you. At the same time, you continue to treat your Heavenly Husband the very same way that your EH is treating you. And just as your EH believes he can’t help it and doesn’t even want to be free from the OW—the same is true for many of you. This, I have trouble understanding. On one hand there is The Man who died for you, who paid the price so you would no longer live in slavery. And yet, the man who continues to reject and hurt you is who you continue to seek.

“She will pursue her lovers, but she will not overtake them; and she will seek them, but will not find them. Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my first Husband [the Lord], for it was better for me then than now!’”— Hosea 2:7

God has done everything He can to remove this OM “other man” from your life so you would be faithful to His Son:

“You [God] have removed lover and friend far from me; My acquaintances are in darkness”—Psalm 88:18

“You [God] have removed my acquaintances far from me; You have made me an object of loathing to them; I am shut up and cannot go out”—Psalm 88:8

And yet, the OM, who has been unkind, unfaithful to you is who you still long for. 🙁

SAVIOR

True, some of you have embraced the Lord as your Savior and have even made it far enough along in your Restoration Journey that He has or is becoming your Lord, because you are beginning to obey Him.

“Why do you call me Lord and not do what I say?” Luke 6:46

Not surprisingly, this may seem like it would be enough, but it’s not. It’s falling so short of what He has for you, like living on the wrong side of the Jordan and not crossing over to the Promised Land.

The LORD wants you even more AND He wants EVEN more FOR you.

And it’s due to this lack that has gotten the church in trouble. She seeks after other gods and money and fame and methods to help the lost and dying of this world. But she can’t give what she doesn’t have. Remember, He was speaking to the church when He said “But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” Revelations 2:4.

He desperately wants to free you from the pain and rejection and fear and every lack of need you have. And it’s not just for your sakes, because He wants it for your children’s sake (grown, young or not yet born). He wants children to experience the joy and blessings and anointing of having a Father, the Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5) so that not only are they NOT being raised by a single brokenhearted mom, thus filling that void through peers and drugs and sex, then acting out in violence to deaden the pain. And this destructive course that most young people are on can only change if they have a mother who finds a replacement Father, by having a Heavenly Husband, so there can be peace in their home so the children can begin flourishing in every area of their lives—not in spite of— but due to the difficulties He is bringing them through!

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people.” 1 Peter 2:9.

We see the fruits of this throughout our Praise Reports, from Michelle’s grown children who are being baptized, to Rose’s autistic son who sings about Jesus. Everyone is still amazed and in awe of my own children who each have a passion for the Lord and honestly profited because of what they went through and are going through as adults and parents themselves.

Don’t your children deserve to no longer be abandoned and neglected and hurting children—but be children who are blessed—all because their mothers chose to become His bride?!?!

If you’re still hurting and fearful, it’s due entirely to your unfaithfulness to your Husband.

Like most of the Restored Marriage Testimonies you hear, there was a time after my restoration that I felt there was something missing from my life. I remembered hearing a song that reminded me of how amazing I felt years earlier, when I had no EH but only my Heavenly Husband and I longed for those days. Atarah experienced it too.

“It was Better for Me Then than Now”

Specifically for Standers

Isaiah 4:1 speaks of a time when “seven women will take hold of one man in that day, saying, “We will eat our own bread and wear our own clothes, only let us be called by your name; take away our disgrace!”

Standers want their husbands back, so much so, that even if they’re divorced they will remain intimate, proclaiming it’s a covenant, even though legally they are no longer married. In addition, many women find that they become friends, often friends with privileges (sadly as is common today), but never return to the marriage and become monogamous and faithful to their marriage.

When I first began this HH lesson, I honestly believed that if a woman came from a “standers” ministry, RMM “Rejoice Marriage Ministries” or Covenant Keepers, that they would NEVER be able to know the Lord as their Husband. Why? Because after years and years and years of ministering to women who have come to us after being a stander, women continued to pursue their husbands and I found it to be one of the biggest addictions to which I was unable to, but begged God for, a cure.

Back only a few months ago, I was still heartbroken that even though a dear friend and former minister of ours continued to financially support RMI weekly (as she always has), she never got over the addiction she had for her ex-husband. I’ve often wondered how any man could be that amazing?!?! But then I have to say how could ANY man compare to the Lord?? No one could. So I had to assume, that due to her never being able or willing to let go, she never experienced the Lord as her Husband and it still breaks my heart 🙁

It’s the very same thing as a man not letting go of the OW so he’s not free to cleave to his wife when he returns, which sadly is what RMM faces daily. The founder of one of the stander’s ministry began her ministry when her husband returned, however, he’s written books and speaks openly about “still having fond and loving feelings” for the OW. When I heard them speak decades ago and before my marriage was restored, I told the Lord that to me that’s not being restored. And that I did NOT want my husband home until the OW was no longer in his heart.

Hence when my husband said he was staying with me, but then went back to the OW for another month— I didn’t understand that the Lord was giving me the desires of my heart. My restoration wasn’t done. Had my husband returned still “being fond and thinking of the OW” it would be far from what He had in store for me. Yes, that month was the lowest point of my RJ and when, as I’ve shared, that I lost all faith in God restoring my marriage. But as I also said, it was the four women whom I had invested hope in for their marriages, who carried me through that time (and why we are so focused on you helping other women, so if necessary, they will be strong enough to carry you in your most difficult times). It was only later that I found out that it was during this month that my husband began to loathe the OW, so that after we were restored, and she contacted him again, trying to allure him again, he ran as fast as he could away from her because he couldn’t stand her.

Unfortunately, I still don’t know how to help women to loathe their husbands long enough to fully embrace the Lord until they are One, and He is first. But I am so thankful that He has shown us that being a former stander and having their husband back is an addiction that can be broken thanks to Atarah.

If you notice the LOVE that Atarah feels for her Husband, is first, and because of it, her EH is drawn to her “my husband and I are so in love.” But she got to this point or juncture in her Restoration Journey ONLY because she had her priorities straight—the LORD was first. The Lord was first in her life and first in her heart.

No, it doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a process and it’s a journey—often beginning with first understanding that you are a child of God the Father.

What’s in a Name?

For us to see how far women have traveled in their Restoration Journey, as I said, we watch WHO she speaks about in her Praise Reports. Very often women remain too “far off” from having a close and personal relationship with their new Husband because they can’t get past God Almighty or God the Father.

When we get a Praise Report from most women, when we see they are struggling, most is due to them being a “single” mom and thus they believe they still have NO husband. Most women do have faith in God, and may even see God as their Father (some go so far as to refer to Him as “Daddy”). But God, even as a Father, can’t meet the needs of a woman who has been rejected by her husband, which is why in everyone’s Marriage Encouragement, without fail, we say... focus on your relationship with the LORD, looking to Him as your Husband—since this is the reason He allowed this crisis to happen. Read what He wants to say to you and mark these verses in your Bible to read EVERY day.

“Fear not, for you will not be put to shame

And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced;

But you will forget the shame of your youth,

And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.

“For your Husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.

“'For the Lord has called you, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,' Says your God"–Isaiah 54:4-6

"Instead of your shame you will have a double portion, and instead of humiliation they will shout for joy over their portion. Therefore they will possess a double portion in their land, Everlasting joy will be theirs. For I, the Lord, love justice, I hate robbery...and I will faithfully give them their recompense and make an everlasting covenant with them. Then their offspring will be known among the nations, and their descendants in the midst of the peoples.

All who see them will recognize them because they are the offspring whom the Lord has blessed.

And what you will say, once you've experienced this is...

"I will rejoice greatly in the Lord, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, and as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring up before all the nations"—Isaiah: 61:7-11

The only way you will falter or stumble is IF you continue to pursue your earthly husband or even pursue restoration rather than the Lord.

Revelation 2:4 I have this against you, that you have left your first Love.

In the same way that we may get help and support (both financially, emotionally and mentally) from a fantastic earthly father, a “father” can’t meet the needs and be a “husband’ to us. So this is another reason why I felt led to and SG “sought God” to write a full lesson to help explain why the needs of so many Christians go unmet and why far too many Christian women commit adultery or fall into idolatry.

Song of Solomon

Song of Solomon 2:16—

“My Beloved is mine, and I am His”

For months, you have to have noticed, that the Lord has been alluring you after leading you out into the wilderness along your Restoration Journey with Him.

Hosea 2:14 “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness, and speak kindly to her.”

He’s spoken so kindly to you everyday through His word, and yet you still haven’t answered His call.

In Song of Solomon it says He came for His bride and began knocking, but she had been asleep and it was too much work to dress again.

“I was asleep but my heart was awake.

A voice! My beloved was knocking:

‘Open to me, my darling,

My dove, my perfect one!

When she finally did get up, she couldn’t find her Beloved, which caused her to search for Him.

“I have taken off my dress,

How can I put it on again?

I have washed my feet,

How can I dirty them again?

“I arose to open to my beloved;

“I opened to my beloved,

But my beloved had turned away and had gone!

I searched for him but I did not find him;

I called him but he did not answer me.

“I adjure you… If you find my beloved,

As to what you will tell him: Tell Him I am lovesick.”

If you don’t answer His call now, you may never hear it again. And I can’t even begin to tell you what you’ve missed. It’s heartbreaking.

God the Father versus Jesus His Son

The Trinity is one of the most complex concepts of the organized church. In no way do I want to or feel capable of explaining this—since I’m not sure I fully understand it myself. 😉 But, what I do understand, and what is more important, is I have experienced personally what I hope to convey in this all important lesson.

Understanding God the Father, the Lord as my Heavenly Husband, and by understanding and knowing this, I can live my life having ALL my needs met!

“And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19.

God met our needs when He sent His Son: we needed a Savior, we needed a Lord to obey who could “wash us with the water of His word” and also as a Husband, with us as His bride.

In the same way as our first relationship with our Father begins—long before we contemplate or NEED a husband—so too our relationship and need for a heavenly Father begins.

Believers go from understanding there is a God in heaven (or worse, a God who is out to “get” them), to finding Someone they can go to for Fatherly guidance, support and Someone who is simply Rock solid! God the Father.

I’m so grateful that I was blessed with an amazing earthly father. We were extremely close and I was known in my family as being his favorite. Though he’s been gone since 1995 and I do miss him, that neediness of a father (that many struggle with) was met when I was a child and even after I was grown, and a married adult. So though I now SG “seek God the Father” for wisdom and should I need to repent of anything, like forgoing my will, so His will can be done—God the Father is not Someone I spend much time with—because I am grown and because I have a Heavenly Husband.

1 John 1:7-10—

“The blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He [God] is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Luke 5:21—

“Who can forgive sins, but God alone?”

If my father was still alive (and even when he was alive and I spent time every day with him the year that he was dying), I still spent the majority of time with my earthly husband. I’m sure this makes sense to everyone.

However, for many women who did NOT have a good or present or loving earthly father, you may have a huge void in your lives that still needs to be filled by a Father. The perfect example is our former farm neighbor, Debbie.

Though both Tara and I speak often and openly about the Lord, Debbie always speaks of her Father and focuses on Him (unless she’s speaking of Jesus the Savior)—and there is nothing at all wrong with that! Debbie is clearly a Christian, loves the Lord, but what makes her focus different than mine are two things: One, she has an amazing earthly husband. Two, she never had a father she could trust.

Debbie’s father, though very present (and living and visited often until just recently when he passed away) had 5 different wives, children from those mothers, and always fought for and got custody. Debbie grew up with many “mothers” but a father who was not able to love her. Thankfully, she met and married a wonderful earthly husband, a “good ole boy” who was raised by a very strong Christian mother, who led Debbie to the Lord when she was first married.

Though Debbie does look to the Lord, as I said, she looks to Him as her Savior, the Lord of Hosts warrior who rescued her, but what she still needs is a Father whom she can trust.

You may relate to Debbie and also need a Father you can trust. As I said before, many women who come to RMIEW go so far as to refer to their Father as “Daddy.” However, it’s not what we normally allow in our Encouragers. The reason is, it’s uncomfortable, and that means we need to use discretion. It’s sort of like a grown woman jumping into her earthly father’s lap, calling him Daddy in front of you. Awkward. But in private, let’s say if she never had a father, or didn’t know her father and discovered him later in life, privately this would make perfect sense.

Let me explain this. Normally calling God the Father, Daddy, is taught or encouraged by a church—no doubt from a pastor who didn’t have a father figure in his/her life. And that’s really where and why most women are stuck in only knowing and experiencing God the Father—entirely missing the Lord, and what He longs to be—because they remain in an organized church and are led in the direction the pastor leads them.

When my children were little, while on their way to church, I explained to them about God their Father. Because this IS a part of growing spiritually. At the time, my daughters had an earthly father and were too young to really understand or need a heavenly Husband.

On our way to church, very often I would use the time to explain to them that when you’re in church, and everyone is worshipping, it’s fine to think of God as a King to be worshipped. But think of God as being a King and you are the children of the King. When everyone is worshipping, you should too; it’s not the time to go running up and sit on His lap, hugging and kissing Him.

BUT when you are at home, how much would it hurt Him, your Father, if you stood back and fell down and worshipped Him and kept repeating prayers or poems to Him? Right, He’d be hurt and lonely missing His children’s love and affection.

So I explained that church is fine, BUT when they are at home, He wants His children to jump in His lap, tell Him everything you're thinking and feeling and ask Him loads of questions. At night, talk to Him while you’re falling asleep and when you wake up, imagine He’s stayed next to your bed watching you sleep, so say Good Morning to Him.

Church, I would explain, is where you join with all the Kingdom to worship and sing praises to Him. But they as His children and He as their Father needed much more time all week long to be close. So I encouraged them to talk to their Father alone, every day, whenever they needed someone to hold them and comfort them and help them feel safe—especially when my older four children were young and their father left us. They needed to know that their Father would never leave or forsake them. If you or your children still feel insecure, here is a list of verses to read often. I will Never Leave or Forsake you.

And for any of you who have not had a loving father in your lives, it’s important that you come to know God this way, as your Father who you need to feel cares and protects and who is close to you all the time. He is not someone waiting to strike you down or catch you doing something that’s wrong to punish you. He is loving and patient and wants you to become His Son’s bride. If He thought you were so horrible, would He send His Son to die for you? Would He tell Him to take you as His bride though an adulteress? (Read the book of Hosea “Then the Lord said to me [Hosea], ‘Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress.’”)

*The book of Hosea, like Atarah, you may have read with your husband in mind, but it’s really a book written for us, His church and us personally as His bride who was/is unfaithful to Him.

Back to God the Father. For me personally, I had a wonderful earthly father, and even though he’s been gone since 1995, I don’t feel the need to ever crawl in the Father’s lap. BUT I do miss having someone wise, who loves to listen and discuss things like my father and I used to do. And that’s why it’s wonderful because the Bible does say that when we lack wisdom or finances and many other things it’s the FATHER who we should go to:

Lack wisdom? “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” —James 1:5

Need anything? “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” —Philippians 4:19

Having a wonderful Father to discuss things with or when we are in any need (financial or anything else), BUT when we are old enough to want and need the companionship of a husband, like when we each found ourselves “rejected” and “ashamed”—it is a Husband we need, who is very different than God the Father.

Our Heavenly Husband—His Son Jesus

In most evangelical churches, Jesus, the Lord, the Christ is normally confined to being thought of and discussed as a Savior. Yes! We need Him to be our Savior, first, but like a spiritual war hero, the Lord wants us to know Him as more: As a Person, as a Friend, and also, intimately as His bride! And when I said “intimately” is because this word is really about willing to being exposed, not hiding anything.

The church recognizes that we will “someday” be His bride when He comes back for us. But, when I was abandoned and rejected I couldn’t WAIT for my Husband who I needed to help me with my four small children each day, to comfort me so I no longer slept alone, and who I knew would hold my hand as I walked through day-to-day living with a horribly wounded heart.

This is why we don’t begin by explaining to anyone coming to us the differences of God the Father, Jesus the Savior, or any other Person—since, almost always the woman is in the midst of a marital crisis. Instead, we simply introduce her to her Husband because she NEEDS Him! Not when she dies, not needing to know He died for her and how to be saved. She needs to begin to be held and embraced and comforted and loved. No matter what her upbringing, no matter her religious background or lack of religion, she needs a relationship!

That’s why, when we received a Praise Report from one of our translators and Ministers in Training, someone who is farther along their Restoration Journey, yet who are still struggling or speaking about God more than the Lord or their Husband, we know we need to help her grow spiritually and get past this stage so she can experience the Lord as her Husband, where her real void and hurt is.

* This pencil sketch above is by Macy Thiele, Erin’s youngest daughter.

War Stories

Having the Lord as my Husband, I have come to understand why reading praise reports about Jesus dying on the cross etc. began to bother me. I spent a lot of time asking Him to show me what was wrong with me, when one day He did show me why by using an analogy.

My niece is married to a Navy Seal and like all men of valor, he never speaks of what he does, no war stories, not ever. And as his wife, my niece would never, ever speak of his valor knowing how uncomfortable it makes her husband feel. My nephew does what he does for his country. In the same way, the Lord of Hosts does what He does for His Father’s Kingdom. And true heros are uncomfortable when anyone talks about it— and so are their wives but in a different way and for a different reason. My niece knows the dangers of her husband’s profession, and how close he has come to dying and being tortured when captured. Even though he is a bit too old for active duty as a Seal, and now trains Seals, she doesn’t want to think about all he’s sacrificed for his country, for her, for their children. None of the Seal wives do. And if someone does talk about it, she’s quiet and tries to get away from the discussion.

Yes, He did die, and is coming back on a white horse some day, but just as my niece doesn’t want to think of her husband in any of his bloody battles or should war break out again, I feel the same way.

When we are alone, I don’t speak to the Lord of Hosts, my Husband or discuss what He did for me or for His Father’s Kingdom. Instead it’s about here and now and mostly, because He called me, about how I can help women who come to us. One new group that is ever growing is our “not yet married” group of women. Like women in the world, we get Christians who for one reason or another (we don’t ask) they have been living with and even calling the man her husband.

Though new to me, it’s not new to Him, since He met the woman from Samaria in John 4: 7-38.

Not Yet Married

We have many women who are not legally married, but due to them awakening and living as if she were married, we help her find her heavenly Husband. We encourage her to refrain from any further intimacy since her relationship with her ex-boyfriend or fiancé or partner or “father of her children” is more like a woman who is divorced.

There are a few, however, who really don’t need a husband. My daughter Tara for instance.

Like a few younger unmarried women who are or have taken our Rebuilding Courses, she is not married, she has never “known” a man, and actually has never even had a boyfriend or been on a date. One day she expressed this to me that it’s a little awkward for her to experience the Lord in the same way as 99% of the women who are part of RMIEW do. So after SG, I was able to explain it was because there was NOT that void in her life. But what IS a huge void is having a betrothed, a future Husband, who the Lord is to her now until she marries.

When I referred to her relationship with the Lord this way, as being betrothed or engaged, she  got excited and went on to say this was more of how it used to be back before, when an unmarried woman dated and gave themselves to men who they were not married to. That, actually, it was even farther back, when young women trusted their parents to find them a suitable and honorable husband. She said it’s like she had an “arranged” marriage—by God the Father—and that means, I told her, because He is Prince of Peace it makes her His Princess. And can I say, in my eyes, she’s is like a pure and untouched princess. 🙂

From Tara’s early teen years, when she committed to never dating, she’s been wearing a promise ring (many mistake it for an engagement ring) and was often told she’s like a princess, but not in the way it’s usually thought of. They say she is more like a real live princess, more like Grace Kelly who played this role in one of our favorite old movies, the Swan. In this movie, her character has been saving herself and been groomed to be a queen, therefore, she had spent her entire teen and early twenties learning how to be a queen. This meant she never had boyfriends, but set her sights on what role she would play in her husband’s kingdom—which would of course meant she would certainly not have past intimate relationships with common men or boyfriends.

As for Tara, having a close relationship with her betrothed now, the Lord, is what helps her not get antsy or get ahead of Him. She has no interest in dating and says she never even is tempted to look at anyone either. Instead, right now she’s focusing on making sure she will be a good wife, mother, homemaker (cooking, cleaning, shopping) and learning to do everything well. This, I’ve told her, will ensure that this transition from being betrothed to being a wife, will be an easy transition—one she is already well prepared for. And since she has never been close to any man (other than her father and brothers), she will have no trouble being “one flesh” with her future husband, loyal to him alone.

"I'm Not Worth"—Wisdom

Titus 2:3—

“Older women likewise…teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women…”

Wisdom From Erin

Many women remain at the feet of Jesus when He is longing to embrace you in His arms.

Yes, we do see Mary Magdalene in Luke 7:37-39, kissing the feet of Jesus, drying his feet with her hair from the tears that flowed, however, as His bride the Lord longs to have your heart full of gratitude, but not continually bowed down.

We also see when Ruth slept at the feet of Boaz (Ruth 3:6-8) but once he redeemed Ruth, and took her to be his wife.

Just as we say in each Marriage Encouragement:

We want to encourage you to  focus on your relationship with the LORD, looking to Him as your Husband—since this is the reason He allows each crisis to happen—so you will come to know Him and His love.

Assignment: Read what He wants to say to you and mark these verses in your Bible to read EVERY day.

“Fear not, for you will not be put to shame [insert your name]

And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced;

But you will forget the shame of your youth,

And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.

“For your Husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.

“'For the Lord has called you, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,' Says your God"–Isaiah 54:4-6

"Instead of your shame you will have a double portion, and instead of humiliation they will shout for joy over their portion. Therefore they will possess a double portion in their land, Everlasting joy will be theirs. For I, the Lord, love justice, I hate robbery...and I will faithfully give them their recompense and make an everlasting covenant with them. Then their offspring will be known among the nations, and their descendants in the midst of the peoples.

All who see them will recognize them because they are the offspring whom the Lord has blessed.

And you will say, no longer bowed down but embraced:

"I will rejoice greatly in the Lord, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, and as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring up before all the nations"—Isaiah: 61:7-11

~ Erin

Definition

Worthy: deserving effort, attention, or respect.

Unworthy: not deserving effort, attention, or respect.

Synonyms (words that mean the same):

undeserving

ineligible

unqualified

unfit

Bible Support

Proverbs 31:10

[Description of a Worthy Woman] An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.

Revelation 5:12

“Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing.”

CONCLUSION

There isn’t a more important lesson and principle that’s in the Bible, in my opinion, than understanding, seeking and Finding your Heavenly Husband. When I, like Atarah, began to yearn for more, I SG for how. I asked Him if I needed to read the Bible more or sing praise songs or love songs or go for long walks alone to find Him like that again. I was desperate.

What I realized was like salvation, like being filled with the Holy Spirit, it is nothing I COULD do. It was a void that only He could fill and because I sought, and knocked and pleaded, He told me to repeat what I didn’t yet feel.

Lord, You’re all I want.

Lord, You’re all I need.

Lord, You’re all I live for.

As I said, when I said those words each morning and night (and each time He’d bring it to my mind) I didn’t FEEL anything. But at some point, it began to spring up within my heart and my countenance took on a glow!

If you’re willing to let go of your EH (in the same way you hope your EH will someday let go of the OW), then I promise that repeating that phrase will change your life.

Lord, you’re all I want.

Lord, you’re all I need.

Lord, you’re all I live for.