Day 8 Married

Day 8
Married

but first 3 TESTIMONIES!

WARNING: Be sure to read this lesson ONLY IF you are currently MARRIED AND you and your husband lives with you— do not read if you are Separated or Divorced or there is a Divorce Filed.

Women involved in a Standers Ministry are taught to "say" they're Married, even though they are NOT.

Women who do so find themselves confused and begin applying principles that will make a marriage situation even worse rather than better.

"For where envy and self-seeking exist, CONFUSION and every evil thing." James 3:16 NKJV

Instead, remember “...and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." —John 8:32.

If you are Separated, Divorced or there is a Divorce Filed. PLEASE click on the correct link to read that lesson ONLY.

 

Marriage Restored AFTER a Divorce!!!!

I had to e-mail you and tell you that my husband and I were remarried last Friday!! NEW RINGS and everything!!!!!

Glory to our God Who ALWAYS leads us to triumph in Christ Jesus! Our God is able to deliver us from the jaws of the lion; I am fully persuaded that our God is able to do that which He has promised!

Thank you for your daily encouragement and for the wisdom and counsel of God that you have sown into our lives through all your books, videos, website fellowship and the preparation that you have shared through the Word and your testimony to prepare me for the days ahead. I am excitedly experiencing and expecting that the latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former! Our God is a restorer of more than all we had before. God bless Restore Ministries richly! Our God is truly a Restorer of the ruins, a Repairer of the devastation of our generations!

~Faith* in Nebraska, RESTORED

Marriage Restored After 5-Month Separation!

Thank you so much for being obedient and starting this ministry. It has truly helped me. All praises go to God our Father — my marriage was restored after only 5 months of separation!!! I put my wedding rings back on after I read the significance of them, but this time with the right focus of who I needed to focus on, Jesus!!!

Soon after completely letting go and making the Lord first, my husband called at 1 a.m., asking if I would have the garage door open, because he was on his way home!!!! It worked because now I am trusting God and applying the principles that I learned in all your books and videos!!!!

Thank you so much!!!!

~Kitty* in Wisconsin, RESTORED

Amazing Successes to Restoration and Thereafter!

I was desperate for years before finding Restore Ministries — since 1995. I found you through another ministry that listed RMI as an alternative. I learned and read and reread "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage." I realized that I had dishonored God by how my husband and our family was first. I was a true hypocrite because I was not a true lover of the Lord. That’s when I began to shut up. I wrote letters to all the people I had talked to and told them my own shortcomings and sins (not my husband because I knew my first love needed to be God and not impressing my husband). Instead of how I tore him down behind his back, I began to build my husband up in our daughter's eyes, and to encourage her to love her dad unconditionally.

I learned that all I ever needed was Jesus Christ. I also learned what a treasure my husband and family truly are (that God had given me, which I began to worship over the Lord). How true that you can win the whole world, but if the Lord is not first, then your family is not with you, it is a hollow fake existence.

Mostly, I realized not to deride nor ask questions of my husband and the reason was that it didn’t matter. I learned, through prayer, that God turned the situation the way He did to change me to wanting Him more. What a surprise that I did not have to beg, nor did I have to threaten, nor did I have to scream as I had been doing. I had to let go, be kind to everyone and pray (just talking and listening to God a LOT). There were very serious changes to make in me and God is still making serious life changes in me. Truthfully, I still have a long way to go.

As I started to change and my heart was clearly for Him, God turned the situation around. After my husband came back home, I had to visit the places and do the things he had done with her (the OW). I still was dying on the inside. It was very painful. Had I not had the Be Encouraged videos, I would have cracked under the pressure.

I still have the videos, but most I have passed along to help other women (I began helping others which I believe had a lot to do with and when things changed in my relationships). A "Wise Woman Builds Her House" workbook just found a new home two weeks ago with a woman who was tearing her house down. All of these resources were so needed by others! The videos and "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" were vital to my restoration. My advice — "Get as much as you can!"

My husband has been home a little over a year now. It has been very difficult because the tests are harder and why He had to refine me as He did. Ladies, do not give up. I praise God because my husband sleeps with his arms around me and holds my hands and constantly says he loves me. I praise God because there was a time when he never said those things. And the more I fall in love with the Lord, the more loving and affectionate my husband is to me just as Erin said he would.

Here is another exciting detail — I have been married for 25 years now and I used to beg my husband to read the Word of God with me. After I fell in love with the Lord, I saw it happening to him!! He now wakes me up sometimes, and often insists on reading the Bible and praying with me. Now we read and pray every morning since October!!! He reads and explains the Word to me, and then seven months later (after I stopped going to church) the Lord led my husband to church!! He has been going now one year!!! I give all of the glory to God. I can only thank God.

~Kelly in New York, RESTORED

 

So You're Still Married—

Yet, You Feel Very Much Alone

Maybe your husband says he doesn't love you, or you've found out he's involved with another woman or some other sin. Yet...

No matter how you feel—Praise God!

Do you know there is a book and ministry based solely on how our lives can turn around in an instant if we would simply PRAISE God for every difficult thing that happens in our lives?

Begin today by PRAISING GOD that you are actually in a MUCH, much better place than 75% of women who come to our ministry—women who come to our ministry are almost always either separated or already divorced! Some women have watched their husbands marry the other woman!

So many women who are separated or divorced tell us that they WISH they could go back and undo their mistakes. So many confess to driving their husband out of their homes or foolishly asking him to leave, believing it would be better or easier. Unfortunately, things always got much, much worse!

And most women who push their husbands out (or ask him to leave) do so because they didn't realize the advantage they had. They THOUGHT it would be easier if their husband were out of the house, but as soon as he was gone they found out the TRUTH. They found the truth the hard way and wished they hadn't listened to all those people who suggested it!

Every one of us who have experienced a RESTORED marriage agree that it is difficult having a husband living in the same home who may be involved with someone else or is indifferent to us or who may be in some other kind of sin. However you simply have no idea that YOU have a HUGE advantage over everyone else because things have not gone as far as separation, which ultimately leads to a divorce. But, rather than celebrating too soon, we also want to help you keep your advantage.

Most women who come to us, as we said, are already separated or divorced. Almost ALL women, 99.99% of the women who come to our ministry, have a husband in adultery, often flaunting their girlfriend in their faces and all around town!

(This is why IF you suspect your husband is involved with someone, say nothing, don't snoop, and keep your advantage as the Restore Your Marriage book says.)

Each of the women who are already separated or divorced would do practically ANYTHING to have the advantage that you have!

Unfortunately, prior to our husbands leaving, none of us were wise enough to use the advantage we had. It took our husbands leaving us or suing us for divorce to get us to a place of brokenness where we would begin and be willing to change.

On behalf of all the women who would give anything to change places with you, PLEASE allow whatever it is that led you to this site to be enough to get your attention!

FOLLOW and begin to use wisdom not your EMOTIONS to guide you. Wisdom that our ministry will teach you. And allow wisdom and your new relationship with the Lord to change YOU. Don’t do what we did. It took us losing everything to find wisdom and apply it to our lives!

When a husband hasn’t left (yet) it is so easy to keep looking at him thinking he is the one who needs to change! HOWEVER, God sees you as one flesh, and when He begins to make a change in a couple, He begins with the heart—that’s obviously YOU or you wouldn't be here! Women are usually the heart of the One Flesh relationship, while the husband is the head.

God wants to begin by changing the heart of the relationship, once again—that’s YOU! Only then will the head change, after the heart has changed.

So in order to keep your advantage, if you know or suspect that your husband is involved with someone else, once again, follow the principles in Chapter 1 How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and say NOTHING—NOTHING at all.

 • Do NOT confront your husband or the other woman.

 • Do NOT tell anyone else; keep what you know quiet.

 • Use it to your advantage.

 • Use it to motivate YOU to change.

If your husband has already confessed his adultery (or any other sin), realize that you are extremely BLESSED, blessed, BLESSED!

Sadly, most women we know who have a husband who has confessed, and were even willing (even eager) to change, these same women NEVER personally changed and remained a contentious, often bitter woman. And due to not being broken, these same women struggled with unforgiveness for years!

After helping so many women for so many years, we have seen how this is why still being married, not separated or divorced, can also act as a disadvantage to YOU—because YOU may never be motivated enough to change!

Shortly after my own marriage restoration, I began asking women whose marriages were restored this question. “If you had to do it all over again, go through all the pain and worry and every other trial, would you do it again?” Every one of them answered, “YES!”

But even more astonishing was when I asked them “Why?” Each woman basically said the same thing, “Because of who I am now and what I have gained from going through this. I am different.”

Again, I don’t see this degree of change in women who have NOT had to experience their husbands leaving them or when their husbands did leave but came home too soon. I have seen a few change, but only very few. What I see instead is the same contentious woman who we all once were.

Yes, it’s difficult to live with a man who is unfaithful or unloving or is living in sin—and you may feel NOTHING could be worse. But that’s only because you don’t realize the advantage you have and how much worse it can and WILL get unless you change NOW!

And let us leave you with one more warning: Do NOT foolishly ASK your husband to leave either. If you do, we promise that you will live to regret it— it will eat you alive. We read this regret time after time in the questionnaires that women fill out.

 

Yes, you have an advantage!

So take it, count your blessings, and allow whatever it is that brought you to our ministry to change you and motivate you.

Don’t foolishly throw your advantage away by holding on to unforgiveness, contentiousness or by ignoring the wisdom found in our books, videos, lessons and testimonies and asking or driving your husband out of your home.

Our newly received PR from woman who is following this principle 

“Transforming EH Before My Eyes”

Some years ago when I started on this RJ, I would read how Erin would say what a blessing it is to have your husband in the home. Then, as I am very analytical, I would read how things would be so much harder when the husband returns and think, this is what I live every day. However although skeptical in the flesh, I couldn’t deny the truth of the Word of God and how Erin relates it to us. So, I never forced my husband to leave, although the devil tried and still tries hard to convince me otherwise. I also embraced the promise of the advantage. I embraced having a VIP seat to witness my HH changing my EH right before my eyes. There isn’t much written about matters when the EH is still in the home, but I still pressed into the word of God and the words outlined so beautifully in the materials that Erin has for us. I prayed and SG, to help me to discern ways I could apply the principles in my life and in my situation just as Erin and the other ministers so lovingly suggest. I still make mistakes and am learning how to be the person, wife, friend, and sibling that God wants me to be; but as my journey continues, I find myself reflecting back to those early days to see just how far I have come in my relationship with the Lord. I look back at all the ways He has touched me, carried me, gone before me, renewed me, and protected me. I could just go on forever telling of His goodness.

Now my HH is showing me the beauty of submission. He is showing me the comfort and peace of allowing my EH to lead our family. I realize now why I was always so stressed, concerned, worried, frantic, and tired. I was trying to fill a roll I wasn’t designed to fill. He, my HH, is transforming my EH right before my eyes. We had an incident on Easter, PTL, where my HH also showed me the protection He has over my children with this adultery and also how He is working behind the scenes in both our lives. Since then God, turning bad and using it for good, has provoked a wonderful change in my EH. Since, however, the enemy has really been attacking my mind telling me that it is all in my mind. Nonetheless, today while crying out to my HH and SG for wisdom, He told me that this is the way He wanted it all along. He has broken down my control everything wall and reinforced how His way is the best way. He has allowed me to see, sadly for the first time, that my EH is capable of doing all that is required of him, with His help of course. Although my EH is still active in adultery, let me give you an example of His grace. We were watching something and the gentleman said “Sometimes you have to run with the devil.” I remember thinking oh Lord, this is why we shouldn’t watch TV, which is another miracle in itself. Then my EH says “Yes sometimes you run with the devil, but then you have to say Satan get behind me.” My heart sang “and run to God.” I am just overflowing with the love of the Lord. He has filled me up and made me new. It feels foreign, since I spent so many years trying to do it my own way, but I’m grateful that His grace and mercies are new every day. I look forward to seeing where He takes me and all the things He has in store. I just want to thank Erin and all the other ministers from the bottom of my heart for leading me to my Beloved. There is so much more my heart wants to say…until the next time! Jesus loves us and I’m glad about it!!

"For we[are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." (Ephesians 6:12)

Understanding the Principles of Wedding Rings
Whether to Wear Your Wedding Rings

Whether or not to wear your wedding rings is fairly significant in regard to your restoration.

In this Wedding Rings LESSON, we hope to clear up whether or not you should be wearing your wedding rings— and to know what to do. THEN be sure to come back here and: 

Honestly, Do the Principles in this Lesson Really Work?

"Your testimonies also are my delight;
They are my counselors"—Psalm 119:24

 

Submitted by: Heather in Massachusetts; I’m Currently Divorced, I’m a RMIEW Minister.

“My New Ring”

I am so EXCITED!!! I have a BEAUTIFUL New Ring to wear. For a few months now I have had this desire for a rose gold ring. I have been talking to my heavenly Husband about it. Even though I have had plenty of ideas as to how I would get this ring and what it would mean to me, I never expected it the way I received it.

One day I was walking around the mall, I stopped in two jewelry stores. One had a nice band with crystals all around and it was rose gold. The second store had a few “engagement” like rings or “promise” rings in rose gold, but not what I was looking for. Honestly I did not know why I was looking for any ring. Four days later I received an unexpected monetary gift, I was blown away by the love.

This particular day I had not been to the gym so I went to the mall to walk. It is an outdoor mall that many people go to, to walk and window shop ;). I had invited a few friends but none of them could make it. I parked my car and began my walk with Him. I came across another jewelry store so I went inside. The minute I stepped foot in the door the lady said “Hi, you are here for a wedding band?” I looked at her and said “yes, I would like to look for a rose gold band.” She sat me down and showed me three rings. I loved each and everyone of them. She began to ask me questions. One thing she asked was, “this has a meaning and it is not about your marriage?” I smiled and said “oh, yes it is” 🙂 and I began to ask her if she knows God. She told me she walked away from her faith four years ago, then she said she knows He is pulling her back because I am the 3rd person to speak to her about her faith. Then, she left to help another customer so I took the time to speak to Him in my heart. I asked if I should purchase a ring, and if so, which one. He guided me to the middle one. When she got back she asked, “have you decided?” I said, “yes, this one please”, not even knowing the cost of the ring. She brought me to the register and told me it was on special and that she would take an additional 10% off but she had to know what this ring was symbolizing :).

I told her it is my ring from my Heavenly Husband, that I am His and He is mine. It’s a reminder that I am never alone. She rang it up and the cost of the ring was the same as the monetary gift I had received!!!! 🙂

I praised Him and thanked Him for my special ring and the opportunity to share about all He has done for me.

Today, on my left hand, ring finger, sits the most beautiful, shiny, rose gold, 12 amazing diamonds, wedding band from my Wonderful, Amazing, Protective, Providing, Comforting, Caring, Kind, Generous, Forgiving, Loving, ALL KNOWING Husband. He is always in control and I love Him so much!!!!!

“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win” —1 Corinthians 9:24