FDA Chapter 2. Whose Trust IS the Lord

Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD
and whose trust IS the LORD.
—Jeremiah 17:5

 

When this book was first written, it was because so many women and men continued to call and write to RMI desperate for help when their husband or wife told them he/she was planning to, or had filed for divorce. This book has helped so many people who I knew would continue to contact RMI, usually in a panic, since none of us are ever truly prepared to face divorce from a believer’s standpoint—by faith!

Even in the church they treat divorce as a death sentence, something to be feared, or something to “recover” from. However, if you go through it with enthusiasm rather than fear, by following these simple principles, I guarantee that you will be a new man or woman rather than a broken one.

The more you “renew your mind” by reading the truth in this book, the more you will replace the lies of the world with faith in your Lord. Then, the more faith you have, the more the fear you are experiencing will fade away. And, even better, what will remain will be the “peace that surpasses all understanding.” And, if you want to experience “joy unspeakable and full of glory” then embrace and feed on these truths so that you are able to go through it enthusiastically rather than fearfully with trepidation.

By the way, never, ever skip reading the Scripture verses, even if you already know them by heart. The verses will do something wonderful to your spirit. There is a “washing of water with the Word” that will cleanse your mind, soul, and spirit. It will put out the fire of fear and start you on your way to that abundant life. Begin by reading this verse:

“By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established and by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches” (Prov. 24:3–4).

By reading through this book, I believe, you will gain the wisdom, understanding, and knowledge you will need to do “the right thing” by first releasing your attorney, and to stop trying to fight against the divorce based on this powerful principle that Jesus taught us.

“But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two” (Matt. 5:38–40).

How can you do that? Simply…

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Prov. 3:5–6).

The wisdom gained by reading this book, especially the Scripture verses, will help you to know “what” to do, but the only way to gain understanding is to obey what you know is right, which as you read in Matthew 5:38–40 above is to stop resisting!!

Next comes the knowledge, which will help you discern how to handle the next crisis, and how to help guide others who are going through the same or similar crises, since this is why you were called to go through this trial. So many men and or women who focus on themselves, ignoring the people around them who need help, find that they forgo their own restoration since another principle that you need to obey is “Give and it shall be given.”

Release Your Attorney

Releasing your attorney and no longer standing in the way of your spouse’s efforts to divorce you, will take faith and trust in the Lord. This faith, I believe, will be gained through reading the many awesome testimonies of those who chose to trust in their Lord, and He faithfully “delivered them from all their distresses”!

“Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble; He delivered them out of their distresses”(Ps. 107:6).

“Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble; He delivered them out of their distresses”(Ps. 107:13).

“Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble; He delivered them out of their distresses”(Ps. 107: 19).

“Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble; He delivered them out of their distresses”(Ps. 107: 28).

Did you notice that God said this four times?!

If you want to be blessed you must trust the Lord, wholly and only. Here is what the Bible says,

“Thus says the LORD, Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind
and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart turns away from the LORD. For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes, but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD and whose trust IS the LORD. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear WHEN the heat comes; But its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit” (Jer. 17:5–8).

I wrote everything I went through in this book is utter boldness that came from watching God deliver me and so many others I have had the privilege to minister to. Our Lord and Savior delivered all of us from the “lion’s mouths” and from the “fiery furnace” as He led us “through the valley of the shadow of death” of attorneys, divorce papers, and fear that tried to paralyze us.

When I originally began to write this book, I understood what you are now facing, because I was served my papers at my door by the sheriff (when I lived in a crummy townhouse alone with two little boys). There were many lies on my divorce papers (that were fabricated by my husband and the OW), and my papers stated an amount of child support that I knew would never meet the needs of a single mom with small children. I also knew that by not going to court that I would “lose by default,” and I had no one else’s testimony to tell me what that would mean when my divorce was final.

And just like you, I too, had to “walk by faith” when everyone, including Christians and pastors, were telling me to “get a good Christian attorney to protect yourself and your small children.” And by not doing so, I was told I was being a fool and even “deserved” what was going to happen, because I would not try to protect my own children.

However, this time, years later, God saw fit to have me walk an even greater walk of faith. This time when my husband sued me for divorce, I had six children living at home, and he was determined he would pay no child support at all. This time I was asked to take thousands and thousands of dollars of debt that he also refused to help pay. This time the Lord asked me to enthusiastically sign the papers agreeing to all this and more because, dear one, He wanted a testimony for you!

“And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death” (Rev. 12:11).

Because of the testimony that the Lord designed just for you, you don’t have to face your divorce with terror or the unknown. I have walked the walk in order to give you a safe and sure path. Everything that I will share with you in this book is something I have lived through.

Dear friend, our God is faithful and more powerful than any attorney, or any spouse or friend or any circumstance that may come against you! You will experience the same joy that I experienced through my divorce, if you simply trust Him and open your heart up to His love.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear…” (1 John 4:18).

And through the many testimonies of the faithful men and women who applied the principles from this book, I promise that if you have just a tiny bit of faith, you can go well beyond just peace—you will experience JOY, just as I am doing this second time around!!

Just keep your eyes on the One who can easily save you from any destruction, but instead wants to bless you. Don’t choose to allow fear to keep you from the blessings of peace, and joy. Fear is the enemy’s way of pushing Christians to do what the enemy knows will lead to their destruction. You will never gain your miracle if you operate in fear. Trust, faith, and obedience to His Word will bring about victory in your life and a testimony to share with others!

May the Lord bless you with a joy unspeakable as you release your attorney and take the hand of Jesus!

Here’s the first testimony:

All of this Happened for a Reason!!

“My husband had moved out and was living with the OW, a co-worker. He was not happy and felt unwanted in our 20+ years of marriage. Prior to deciding to trust the Lord for my marriage, I had sent him emails quoting Scripture and pointing out his sins and faults. That was the wrong way to handle things! He has since shared with me that it just made him mad, and confirmed for him that he had done the right thing by leaving!

After approximately six weeks of separation and moving toward divorce, I realized that divorce did not have to be the answer. That’s when a pastor friend across the country referred me to the Restore Ministries website. I immediately ordered their books and read them within a couple of days.

I did not immediately release my attorney. I had a hard time with the thought of dismissing my attorney, but I prayed about it, and within a couple of days I knew that I needed to follow through. Immediately a burden was lifted from me once I released my attorney! Everyone, you have to take that step! My outlook changed immediately!

I knew that God was the only one who could restore our marriage; it was only a matter of days before I began to see changes in myself, and would stop to think about what I had done to change. I realized it was not me—it was God working in awesome ways! The changes came after I began to realize the things I had done wrong, prayed for God to change me, and prayed for God’s will for our marriage. I had to turn it all over to God and trust Him completely.

My husband began to notice little changes when he stopped by briefly for the kids or the mail. A mutual friend was also telling him how much I had changed. I asked my husband to forgive me for my contentiousness in the past. Getting past those ways was a relief to me; it is so much better to live a non-contentious life! Life is much more enjoyable, and I am happier, too. Of course, this also comes from having the Spirit of God living within me!

My husband couldn’t imagine that the changes were real and that I wasn’t putting on a front, trying to get him back for the wrong reasons. We did not talk much, but would occasionally email to discuss the kids. Just as Erin mentioned in her book, he tested me at times when he talked to me. I felt this happen on several occasions where he would say something to see if I would react. I did not react, as I would have in the past, which showed him that I was really a new person.

There were several different events coming up over the holidays, and I hoped that we would attend them together as husband and wife. It didn’t happen. The kids and I were with my family in a resort area for Christmas, and I had invited my husband, letting him know he could join us at any time during the week. I prayed that he would show up on Christmas—it was the only thing I wanted! I went to bed crying and praying, but also realizing that it would happen in God’s timing, not mine. Once I acknowledged to God that He alone could know when we were both ready, that’s when restoration happened.

It was December 28, and my husband showed up at the resort. I did not expect it, and my husband didn’t know until 30 minutes prior to leaving our hometown for the resort that he would return home! He wasn’t sure why he was there, but I assured him it was God who had brought him.

Ladies [and gentlemen], be sure to turn it all over to God. When you are waiting and having a rough day, pray, and pray some more! If it weren’t for my faith, for our awesome God, and for prayer, I would not have gotten through! Do not fight in the flesh—it will only frustrate you and slow your restoration. I found that so many things happened just as Erin said they would in the Restoration and Wise Woman book. I followed her advice, read the Scriptures, and prayed, and that is what got me through. It will get you through also.

“If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.” All of this happened for a reason. God had a plan, and now my husband and I are so much happier. We are living for God, we have a great marriage, and it just gets better every day!

Thank you, Erin, for your ministry. It is so awesome how you have helped so many marriages, ours included! God is wonderful, and what a gift He has given you!

Lydia in Colorado—now RESTORED!

Back Together After 19 Months!

This donation comes with praise to God for what He has done! My husband and I are back together after having been separated for 19 months! After we had been separated a year, my husband filed for divorce, stating that there was no way he was ever going to get back together with me.

I had read your books and listened to your tapes and I must say, I was very skeptical about some of the things you had to say—they seemed pretty radical—especially the part about letting my lawyer go. But, during the months of separation from my husband, I clung to God, really pressing in to seek Him with all my heart. God was so faithful to me, carrying me through the incredible trials of separation and provided so completely for everything I needed!

At the time of our separation, I had two small children, ages four and two, and I was three months pregnant with our third child. Also, my husband had cut me off from our bank account, so I had no income. It was incredibly stressful and difficult, but as I look back, it is so amazing to see how God lovingly took care of me through everything I faced. He protected me and brought me to a place of rest in Him.

In February, after 15 months of separation, I finally decided to let my lawyer go. It was completely an act of faith because my husband was extremely hostile toward me. Also, the divorce case was impending, and we had not agreed to any financial or marital settlement. I was trusting in God to provide for me.

I felt incredible pressure from my lawyers not to do what I was doing. I don't think they were purposefully trying to scare me—I'm sure they felt like they were just trying to do their job and look out for my interests—but they gave me very stern warnings that I was leaving myself unprotected and that my husband's lawyer would try to take advantage of me. In spite of the pressure and the fear, I went ahead and let the lawyers go. I told God that I would give Him any money that was returned to me from the legal retainer I had paid.

So—praise be to the Lord!—this money is from the legal retainer. Had it not been for the wisdom I received through your ministry, I might not have ever let my lawyers go (and I would probably have ended up in divorce court). Within a month of my letting them go, my husband pulled his divorce suit! And now, finally, after an incredible journey, my husband has moved in with me and our three children. God has completely turned my husband's heart back to me. Praise God—I cannot praise Him enough!”

Darlene* in Virginia—now RESTORED

Do you have this kind of faith? Save the money that you would pay an attorney that will destroy your marriage and donate it where you will reap a bountiful harvest by helping restore marriages!