“I love those who love Me; and those who diligently seek Me will find Me.” P8:17
As I always share with these anonymous posts, the reason I share these questions we are asked is because there could be a women out there who is hurting needing encouragement and has the same questions desperately looking for answers. Please don’t withhold encouragement if you have any words of hope and comfort to share with this bride in the comments.
I have been praying for my husband’s salvation for 10 years. We have been married for 8 years. He left last year Oct and I have been standing. My journey with My HH and Abba Father is better than it was before my husband left, a journey I do not regret nor would I change, despite all of the devastation.
My husband has made the OW (also still married) pregnant and has filed for divorce. God told me in an almost audible voice … That “my life is the stage on which he will display his glory,” at midnight one night, the night before divorce papers arrived the next day. I had total peace upon receiving the papers and have left the matter in the hands of the Almighty counsellor.
God has put it in me to continue to love my husband and by God’s grace and choice, I have forgiven both of them (she is my friend), I pray daily for their salvation but also for restoration of my marriage and family. Her husband is a dear friend of ours (my husband’s best friend) and I prayed that God would put love back in his heart for his wife and for the restoration of this marriage as well.
Given the opportunity, I will raise my husband’s daughter as my own. I dreamt witches were casting spells over her one night, I attacked them in my dream and woke up and immediately prayed over her.
He is still gone and holds onto the OW because of the child (2nd trimester)
My question to you is … Am I being selfish to stand for my marriage and stand between the baby girl having both parents to raise her. Should I not give my life for hers and walk away, is that not what Jesus would want me to do? This is a new life, for whom God has a purpose otherwise He would have closed the womb as I prayed for many times, but He is Sovereign. Since the news my Husband and Lord has told me only one thing … ” Get out of my way” when I wanted to text my husband, I was disobedient and was deeply hurt when my husband said it’s not fair on the OW that we speak. I knew immediately that this was because I disobeyed and repented. Since then my Lord is silent other than I felt to add prayers that God blesses my marriage, causes us the cleave even more and warfare prayer against the enemy that has been so active in all of this in my husband’s life, he carries deep childhood wounds and watched much adultery in his narcissist father’s life.
Tonight I poured my heart before the Lord asking for healing because the pain burden was too much today. And for a moment while in deep deep pain and sorrow … I had a thought ….maybe it must be my life for hers. It is the first time I am unsure I am hearing my Lord speak or the enemy? Must I give up my life for hers (the baby) and let my husband raise her with the OW and no longer stand. Is this what Jesus wants from me? My life for hers? Does my marriage come before the life of another human being? Surely I do not know now. My husband abandoned my two daughters and I and though he tried to cling to the girls they are so hurt they do not allow him to contact them. They are his step daughters, he raised them from very small and he is the only father they know. They believe he will return saved one day. This has become a clear as mud now for me. Can someone please prayerfully reach out to me. None of your books that I have read speak about a child and I am unsure now.
God Bless your ministry.
Dear bride, in seeking my Husband for what He would like me to share with you, the 1st thing that came to mind is “Seeking God” which is a chapter in the RYM book that you may have read https://hopeatlast.com/c1/d16-chapter-12-seeking-god/. I would like to share what it says:
“I have found that no one but God knows the answers you need—no one including me, anyone in our fellowship, a counselor, your pastor, nor anyone else. God alone has your answers.”
Experience the Freedom of Letting Go https://hopeatlast.com/c2/d15-the-freedom-of-letting-go/ by focusing on your relationship with the Lord by becoming His Bride https://loveatlast.org/his-bride/.
To help shift your focus because right now focusing on your EH, the OW and the baby will cause you a lot of hurt and pain consider reading and journaling one of our courses to help you heal emotionally and spiritually.
Find your Abundant Life that He died to give you despite what you are going through you can still live and find the life of immense joy and peace He died to give you https://loveatlast.org/finding-the-abundant-life/
You also mentioned that you are Facing Divorce https://hopeatlast.com/c3/facing-divorce-course/. This course will help you learn how to embrace adversity—enthusiastically and without fear.
Lastly I would like to share a podcast I did with 2 brides who experienced “Baby with the OW”. They have opened their hearts to share their testimonies and their journey to healing https://youtu.be/40lWTwfauJ4?si=jxFh82o91Y2DWiFY
thank you for your encouragement.
Chère épouse ton histoire est très émouvante. chacun de nous a son histoire mais toute on un seul principe c’est laissé la volonté de dieu se faire c’est lui le juste juge.le fait que tu garde la foi durant cette épreuve est déjà une bénédiction et je suis fière de toi continue le bon combat.dans mon histoire il n’y avait pas d enfant mais une autre femme mais le message du seigneur était très claire il n’y aura ni ni divorce ni séparation .que ton cœur ne se trouble point crois en moi et en jésus. c’était dure parfois de rester ferme à cette foi de mon message de notre seigneur car l’autre femme ne lâchait pas prise.apres j’ai dit la vérité à dieu que je veux la grâce de croire fermement à son message et dieu m’a permis de croire et de lâcher prise.jai commencé à aider plutôt d’autre couple en partageant le blog de rym .les conseils lus dans femme sage batit son foyer .j’ai oublié mon propre mariage et d’un coup mon mariage a changé l’amour, la paix la joie sont revenus mon mari a changé et il prie chaque jour maintenant dieu travaille chaque jour sur nous deux mais la crainte de dieu est revenu dans ma maison et c’était ma demande chaque jour auprès de dieu durant mon parcoursde restauration.et aujourd’hui l’autre femme a disparu. alors ma belle épouse ne force rien ne te juge pas dit la vérité à dieu sur ce qui est difficile pour toi de faire n’essaye de plaire à dieu soit toi même il est notre papa,notre epoux.et demande lui ce que tu veux tant que cest juste à ses yeux il te donnera ce que desire ton coeur .écoute sa réponse et sa conduite à tenir.fait de lui tes délices en obéissant à sa parole.lâche prise et tu verras sa gloire.sil veut que ton mari revienne il reviendra.il ta dit sache que je suis dieu alors accroché toi à cette parole.il est dieu et il fera les miracles pour toi comme il le fait toujours.
Translation:
Dear wife, your story is very moving. each of us has our own story but we all have a single principle, we let God’s will be done, he is the just judge. The fact that you keep the faith during this ordeal is already a blessing and I am proud of you continue the good fight. in my story there was no child but another woman but the message from the lord was very clear there will be neither divorce nor separation. let your heart not be troubled believe in me and in Jesus. it was hard sometimes to remain firm in this faith of my message from our lord because the other woman did not let go. after I told God the truth that I want the grace to firmly believe in his message and God m allowed me to believe and let go. I started to help other couples by sharing the rym blog. The advice I read in wise woman built her home. I forgot my own marriage and suddenly my marriage changed love, peace joy came back my husband changed and he prays every day now god works every day on both of us but the fear of god came back in my house and that was my request every day to god during my restoration journey.and today the other woman has disappeared. so my beautiful wife don’t force anything don’t judge you tell God the truth about what is difficult for you to do don’t try to please God yourself he is our dad, our husband. and ask him what you want as long as it is right in his eyes he will give you what your heart desires. listen to his response and his conduct. make him your delight by obeying his word. let go and you will see his glory. if he wants your husband to return he will come back. he told you know that I am god so hold on to this word. he is god and he will do miracles for you as he always does.
thank you so much
Dear precious bride, while speaking to my HH now He gave me the verse:
Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!
And read what the New American Standard Bible says
“Stop striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted on the earth.”
Put all your focus on the Lord, don’t take your for one second of Him.
thank you for your encouragement.
Hello my sweet bride, I just want to encourage you to simply Seek the Lord for everything, He will give the correct answer to all of your doubts and will heal your heart from everything that you are going through.
This chapter has had a great impact on my life when I feel completely lost and fearful; Chapter 6. Tell it to Your Husband: https://loveatlast.org/ryr/c6 and this one for healing: https://loveatlast.org/hhm/. Our Beloved, who love you deeply and cares for you, will answer all your questions and will give you His peace and a new life!
thank you for your encouragement.
Dear bride, i would encourage and comfort you with these two promises tells us
PSALM 34:7-10 GNT
His angel guards those who honor the Lord
and rescues them from danger.
Find out for yourself how good the Lord is.
Happy are those who find safety with him.
Honor the Lord, all his people;
those who obey him have all they need.
Micah 7:7
But I will watch for the Lord; I will wait confidently for God, who will save me. My God will hear me.
before you do anything, be still and know that Jesus is our God. He knows all things and has the right answer for every question. Seeking God is the first thing you should always do. believe that He is a rewarder of all who diligently seek Him. Because you have come to a point where you are not sure whether what you think you hear is from your Heavenly Beloved or not, is doubt. which is not from our Lord. Be aware to the scheme of the enemy. Your Lord will clearly give you the answers you need. Please read this https://loveatlast.org/living-lessons/week-9-two-way-communication/ and feel in your heart what He is telling you.
However, I would encourage you to turn your EH and OW in surrendering to God for His will to be done in yours and their lives. This isn’t always easy, which is why I would ask you to read the “Freedom of Letting Go” lesson in Course 2 Day 15. https://hopeatlast.com/c2/d15-the-freedom-of-letting-go/ This lesson and the testimonies of other brides who have already been able to let go, helped me so much. To finally let go off my EH and all things that i was see happening. Turning your focus to Him instead of your situation will bring you so much peace and joy. Because He has your happiness in mind and wants nothing more than for you to have a hopeful and good future. Take the hand of your Heavenly Man and let His Word heal you. He’s all you need to be happy.
thank you for your encouragement.
thank you for your encouragement.
Dear sweet bride,
I would like to first encourage you by saying that I have been in a very similar situation to yours. My EH ended up getting the OW pregnant 2 weeks after I became pregnant with our 2nd daughter. I too felt the same way as you with thinking and feeling guilty for wanting my relationship restored when there was now another child involved. I will tell you that this helped me completely let go of my EH and any desire to restore my marriage. The more I let go the happier I became because I knew I could get through anything with My Husband. I was so loved and taken care of that I knew what I had couldn’t compare to what I thought I was missing with my EH not being there. As I removed myself from the situation, my EH and OW would constantly fight. Which resulted in my EH coming to me and our home to seek safety and shelter. My EH ended up returning after both children were born and stayed for less than a year and left again to be with the OW. So again the Lord asked me to let go of my EH and marriage. But this time I was pregnant for the third time. It broke me entirely as I didn’t know how I would take care of three daughters alone. However, I was reminded again of how much love my Honey has. I needed to go through this multiple times to truly let go in my heart and put my Honey first. Please be encouraged and know that God has a very special plan for your life. I would highly recommend all the resources the other ladies posted and additionally read testimonies from other women who have been on this journey. It encouraged me to see what other women were going through and see how the Lord was changing them. My family is now restored and what was once lost has now been given back with much more. Trust in Him and keep your eyes on Him not on the destruction going on around you. He will take care of you.
“The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.””
Exodus 14:14 NLT
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
thanks you so much for the encouragement
Oh my dear. How absolutely devastating this must be for you. No comfort we are giving you here will even begin to heal your broken heart like He will. You asked us a question on what you need to do. We cannot presume to know. He has a plan for each one of us. It is wonderful when we hear from Him and our path is clear and we feel we are doing something, but then when it is quiet, it becomes terrifying because now suddenly you are walking blindfolded into the unknown. What should you do? I make myself crazy trying to find answers on what to do next and He gave me a Psalm that I go to in times like that when nothing is clear and I really want Him to answer me on this, but He is silent.
“ My heart is not proud, O LORD, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the LORD both now and forevermore.”
thank you so very much
Dear Bride, reading your question and the comments, I felt SO much compassion… it is a pain that only those who have gone through those trials can understand. I was devastated when my husband confessed to having lost a baby with OW a few months before we got married. My Beloved knows how much it hurt me because I always thought I would not marry a man who would have children were not mine, and although the baby did not live, it existed and exists in heaven, something that hurts me because I was struggling with perfectionism in my life (https://encouragingwomen.org/tag/perfect/)… But He brings healing. He and only He, only His love could remove that stinging pain from my heart. I know that my experience does not compare with yours, as the pain of each one is for different reasons, but in the end, deep and sharp pain makes the heart bleed.
My Beloved says: “I send his word to heal you and deliver you from his ruin” (S10720). Immerse ourselves in His word and heal from Him… Immerse in it so that He heals every wound in your heart.
My Beloved reminded me of this word for you: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Esdras+9%2C+10&version=MSG
And this lesson: wLL 13 “False Guilt and Forgiveness” https://loveatlast.org/living-lessons/week-13-false-guilt-and-forgiveness/
thank you so much
Dear Bride,
It breaks my heart to read your situation and during my prayer after reading you my Beloved has put the following on my heart and I have felt the urgency to write it on the blog as soon as possible:
Look for what was your first promise, the promise that He gave you when you made the decision to restore your marriage… I believe that in that decisive moment the Lord has given almost all of us a promise, which is the one that has propelled us in the beginning and kept us afloat during the journey.
If you are not clear whether it is the Lord’s will to restore your marriage or not, go back to Him and ask Him to show you a promise on which you will build your journey back to Him according to His will, whether it is through a restored marriage or as His Bride. Read lesson 5 “Missing nothing” of the course “How to be Blessed”. https://elanimador.com/como-ser-bendecida-falta-de-nada/
https://encouragingwomen.org/htbb/
I can relate with you in that I have at times been overcome with doubt as to whether or not the Lord really wanted to restore my marriage. In my case there is no baby on the way, but still the enemy has managed to try to plant doubt and, at down moments, confuse me.
So, for some time now I have been collecting all the promises the Lord has given me during this year of my journey with Him. Having written them down with dates in my diary, I have been able to put together an itinerary, which is exactly what we are doing with Him, hand in hand.
I see how the main promise in which He speaks directly to me has been repeated on several occasions and I also see that it is incredible how close He comes to describing the situation of what happened and what is happening (at that time, it was going to happen)… I am perplexed how His Word fits exactly my situation and that of my family and at every stage of the journey every promise given perfectly described my situation, even though the text says the same thing for everyone.
But He already told us in Exodus 3:14 that His name is:
“”I am who I am”; and He said, “this you shall say to the children of Israel “I am” sends me to you””.
He is everything we need in every situation, He adapts to everything and has the best answer for every situation: creator, guardian, warrior, father, lawyer, healer, mechanic, brother, companion, husband, mentor, cook, tax advisor, relationship counselor …. He is all in all. And His Word encompasses every situation we might find ourselves in with a pinpoint accuracy. It is inexplicable how one book can do this, but that is how wonderful He is.
When the enemy has bothered me with doubt and confusion, I go through them all, chronologically, and this brings me to each situation of trial and see how He has brought me out of them, and how He has been directing me without my knowing where I was going. It’s like completing one of those “connect the dots” games until you see the picture. Now I see the “picture” more and more clearly, and I see with more certainty where it is leading me. It is the vision that Habakkuk 2:2,3 speaks of:
“Then the LORD said to me, “The LORD is with me.
“Write my answer clearly on tablets,
so that a runner may carry the message to others without error.
This vision is for a future time.
It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled.
Though it may seem to be delayed in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely come to pass.
It will not be delayed.”
Therefore, dear Bride, review your notes and your promises, and if you have not written them down, begin today to write them down. And hold fast on to them. God does not lie and He keeps His Word (Numbers 23:19). He doesn’t tell us when or how, but if He says He will do something, then He will do it. And what He also tells us is that He has the power and the desire to do it far more abundantly than we can ask, imagine or understand (Ephesians 3:20).
If what you are hearing now is contrary to what He has been telling you since the beginning, do not allow it to enter your heart, keep it at a distance, don’t make decisions and turn to Him, to ask only your Beloved.
If your Beloved is silent, maybe it is because He has already given you some clear promises and He wants you to hold on to them, to trust Him. Sometimes the Lord’s silences have their origin in the fact that He has already told us what we have to do, and we ask Him the same questions again.
I have also found very helpful to fast during those days when I need answers and I feel more confused. He always delivers clarity and peace after fasting -even if only for a day- and seeking Him for discernment and wisdom.
Oh! And also, don’t forget to ask Him for wisdom and discernment every day as He says it is available to those who ask for it.
James 1:5 “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
I believe that you have the answer much closer than you think.
With much love, Mira
bonjour Mira
votre réponse personnalisée pour cette mariée est très encourageante. sans aucun doute, elle vient du Seigneur.
hello Mira
your personal response for this bride is very encouraging. without a doubt, it comes from the Lord.
thank you so much
Dear Janine, I would like to encourage you to step back and step into your prayer closet to spend time with the Lord and to Seek Him and Him only during this confusing time.
Focus on the one relationship that will leave your heart soaring with LOVE, a love that we all yearn for, everlasting love (https://loveatlast.org/).
He is alluring you during this difficult time: “The One I am speaking about is right now on bended knee with a proposal on His lips! He does not want you to be His wife, He longs for you to be His Bride—forever!!” Taken from https://loveatlast.org/finding-the-abundant-life/chapter-3-the-love-of-my-life/
He wants to love you, heal you and be a Husband to you Who will fulfil every void you have inside. He will never leave you not forsake you.
“With everlasting LOVE I will have compassion on you”
Make Him the Love of your Life, focus on Him, and let Him work it all out for you.
“Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!” Isaiah 30:18
thank you so much