“There is no fear in love… and the one who fears is not perfected in love” 1J4:18
Today I want to share a lesson (https://hopeatlast.com/c3/fda-chapter-9-spying-and-following/) that I learned a lot from. I never used to follow my former husband or tried to find out where he was, or confronted the other woman, but I snooped on his business tablet and laptop which I never did before I found out about his adultery the first time. I am sure if I was able to get a hold of his phone and gain access, I would have snooped on it as well. I almost never found anything, except once, and it broke my heart to pieces. And naturally my response was not good. This was way before I found RMI and knew all the principles and lessons.
The first thing I did when I saw what I saw on his laptop, was to call him and to confront him, and it caused a lot more damage than good. During the course of the adultery, I also often received anonymous calls, informing me of what is going on, and each time my response was the same, I phoned him and confronted him. And the more I confronted him, the bigger the hate wall became and the more he ran to the OW.
When we are in a state of shock and pain because of something we found out, we want to respond like the world does, not thinking, just acting on what we feel and responding out of shock. But in the end, we cause so much more damage. I wish I knew then what I know now, and that is to run to your prayer closet when you do see or find out something, cry out to your Heavenly Husband and allow Him to comfort you. Stay in your prayer closet, or wherever you can be alone with Him, until there are no more emotions involved. Then leave it with your HH and do not confront the person/s involved.
As you will read in the lesson, if you confront your eh/fh, you basically hand them over to the OW because now they know that you know and will flaunt it in front of you.
Please read this lesson and run to your Heavenly Husband with anything you suspect or found out, let Him show you in His appointed time, because you not knowing, might be your Heavenly Husband protecting you until His appointed time.
I also want to share these lessons here:
https://loveatlast.org/ryr/c6/
https://hopeatlast.com/c2/d9-crisis-corner/
I too snooped on my EH’s phone and found things I shouldn’t have ever found. I also reacted just as the world does and it pushed my EH to move in with the OW. Once I found this ministry, I was able to not confront him anymore and stopped asking questions. My Heavenly Husband protected me from a lot of things until I was ready. We must always wash ourselves with His Word to keep our minds renewed. Doing things as the world does leads to complete destruction. But His way leads to love and peace.
I also found out about the adultery when I snooped on my EH’s email. Now I know it was the bait and trap set by the enemy and I foolishly fell for it. and oh boy when I also confronted my EH the little love he had for me just vanished and instead the hate wall hit me of course, I didn’t understad the spiritual consecuences and battle of this decision, before my HH was protecting my heart among other things.
It is true that when we follow the world’s paths it will only lead to destruction.
Now I am so happy I found Him (the lover of my soul) and little by little get the understanding to walk through this journey by holding his hand 🥰🥰🙏🙏❤️❤️
Since I read the Facing Divorce Again book, https://hopeatlast.com/c3/facing-divorce-course/, two verses that sank deep into my heart, is the following:
“But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two” (Matt. 5:38–40).
“Blessed is the person who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the Law of the Lord, and on His Law he meditates day and night.” (Psalm 1).
I can’t believe that I ever bragged that I was the best detective ever and if there was something that my EH was hiding for me, I would find it out and yes I did find out many things but looking back on my life it was so very very tiring. I had made a promise to myself that I would never be lied to, but that came with so much exhaustion and I put myself in so many dangerous situations, but I know the Lord allowed me to do so many mistake so that I can warn brides what not to do and I am forever grateful that I found Him as my HH and that I can rest in Him now.