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We received the following question on RRR:
The day has come that my husband wants to process the divorce now. I reached out to my pastor for a godly counsel and I just found out that he believes that divorce is allowed in some circumstances. 🙁
In this journey that I've been since last year since my separation, God in His mercy have allowed me to understand that He hates divorce and He didn't allow divorce. It was Moses who allowed divorce because of the hardness of heart of the people.
I'm hoping I'll be able to speak with you or anyone who might be available please.
Shalom shalom,
Concerning, your divorce in the book how God can and will restore your marriage Erin Thiel talks about it.
We know that God hates divorce, it is not you who made this request but your husband.
This part you leave to God is not yours.
I share two parts with you in the book:
So in winning without a word where Erin speaks if we don’t let her husband go it will lead to divorce.
But I want to press this part:
Called to live in peace. Tell your husband that you do not want a divorce, but that you will not stand in his way (Ps. 1:1), nor will you contest the divorce.
Tell him that you don’t “blame” him for wanting a divorce. Tell him you still love him (if the “wall of hate” has been torn down), whatever he chooses to do. “If the unbeliever separates himself, let him be separate… God has called us to live in peace” (1 Cor. 7:15).
Sweet words. Again, tell your husband that you will not contest, that you will not confront him during the divorce, and that you will not hire a lawyer for yourself. If you have a lawyer, tell your husband you are going to fire him. Tell him that you trust him and that you know that he will be fair, and that he will do what he believes is best for you and your children. The only way to win this war raging against your marriage is through kindness and refusing to fight! “A gentle answer calms wrath” (Prov. 15:1).
I hate divorce. Tell your husband that you’ve made so many mistakes in the past that you don’t want to make another one. That you hope he will allow you to not sign the divorce papers. I told my husband that since we were in a state where fault-based divorce did not exist, the process would proceed even if I did not sign the papers. Ask the Lord how He wants to deliver you and what words He wants you to say to your husband. Remember, God said, “I hate divorce.” Of course, if he persists in wanting your signature, agree to sign and pray that the Lord will prevent him from pushing you to do so. If you are no longer the derogatory wife you once were, and your husband sees a humble and docile wife, he will not continue to pressure you to do so. Don’t make suggestions to try to please your husband; this displeases the Lord. Ask the Lord! (See chapter 8, “Women, Be Submissive” under the heading “Sarah’s Obedience: Submission in Sin?” in “A Wise Woman.”) NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. However, if you have participated in divorce proceedings, all is not lost. Ask the Lord for forgiveness, and then that of your husband. Demonstrate your desire to see your family reunited by abandoning any legal action or protection. God will begin to heal at that time. “With God all things are possible” (Matt. 19:26).
Once again, if you have hired a lawyer, fire him immediately if you want the best to defend you. Then pray: “Lord, you can help the strong as well as the weak: help us, O LORD our God! For we rely on you, and we have come in your name against this multitude. LORD, You are our God: let not man prevail over You!” (2 Chron. 14:10).
I hope I have answered your question.
Be blessed
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Shalom shalom,
Concernant, votre divorce dans le livre comment Dieu peut et restaurera votre marriage Erin thiel en parle.
Nous savons que Dieu hait le divorce ce n’est pas vous qui a fait cette demande mais votre mari.
Cette parti vous laissez a Dieu ce n’est pas de votre.
Je vous partage deux parti dans le livre :
Donc dans gagner sans un mot ou erin parle se si on ne laisse pas son mari partir cela poussera au divorce.
Mais je veux appuyer sur cette parti :
Appeles a vivre dans la paix. Dites à votre mari que vous ne voulez pas le divorce, mais que vous ne vous mettrez pas en travers de son chemin (Ps. 1:1), et que vous ne contesterez pas le divorce non plus.
Dites-lui que vous ne le “blâmez” pas de vouloir divorcer. Dites-lui que vous l’aimez toujours (si le “mur de haine” a été abattu), quoiqu’il choisisse de faire. “Si le non-croyant se sépare, qu’il se sépare… Dieu nous a appelés à vivre dans la paix” (1 Cor. 7:15).
Des paroles douces. A nouveau, dites à votre mari que vous ne contesterez pas, que vous ne l’affronterez pas pendant le divorce et que vous ne prendrez pas d’avocat pour vous-même. Si vous avez un avocat, dites à votre mari que vous allez le congédier. Dites lui que vous lui faites confiance et que vous savez qu’il sera juste, et qu’il fera ce qu’il croit être le mieux pour vous et vos enfants. La seule façon de gagner cette guerre qui fait rage contre votre mariage est par la bienveillance et en refusant de vous battre ! “Une réponse douce calme la fureur” (Prov. 15:1).
Je hais le divorce. Dites à votre mari que vous avez fait tant d’erreurs par le passé que vous ne voulez pas en faire une de plus. Que vous espérez qu’il vous autorisera à ne pas signer les papiers de divorce. J’ai dit à mon mari que puisque nous étions dans un état ou le divorce pour faute n’existait pas, la procédure suivrait son cours même si je ne signais pas les papiers. Sollicitez le Seigneur pour savoir comment Il veut vous délivrer et quelles paroles Il vous demande de dire à votre mari. Souvenez-vous, Dieu a dit, “Je hais le divorce”. Bien sûr s’il persiste à vouloir votre signature, consentez à signer et appliquez-vous à prier pour que le Seigneur l’empêche de vous pousser à le faire. Si vous n’êtes plus la femme désobligeante que vous étiez, et que votre mari voit une épouse humble et docile, il ne continuera pas à vous presser de le faire. Ne faites pas de suggestions pour tenter de plaire à votre mari; cela déplaît au Seigneur. Sollicitez le Seigneur ! (voir le chapitre 8, “Femmes, soyez soumises” sous l’intitulé “L’obéissance de Sarah: Soumission dans le péché ?” dans “Une Femme Sage”.) RIEN N’EST IMPOSSIBLE. Cependant, si vous avez participé à une procédure de divorce, tout n’est pas perdu. Demandez le pardon du Seigneur, et ensuite celui de votre mari. Démontrez votre désir de voir votre famille réunie en abandonnant toute action ou protection légale. Dieu commencera à guérir à ce moment là. “A dieu, tout est possible” (Matt. 19:26).
Une fois de plus, si vous avez engagé un avocat, congédiez-le immédiatement si vous voulez le meilleur pour vous défendre. Priez alors “Eternel, tu peux aussi bien venir en aide à un fort qu’à un faible: viens à notre aide, Eternel, notre Dieu ! Car c’est sur Toi que nous nous appuyons, et nous sommes venus en Ton nom contre cette multitude. Eternel, Tu es notre Dieu: que ce ne soit pas l’homme qui l’emporte sur Toi !” (2 Chron. 14:10).
Voila j’espère avoir repondu a votre question.
Soyez benis
Sage
Dear bride, I would like to say that I agree with everything Sage shared above. All the principles she shared with you can be found in the Facing Divorce Course: https://hopeatlast.com/c3/facing-divorce-course/. This is one of the most powerful books and helped me tremendously on my journey, the principles in this book can be applied to each and every trail that comes against us.
Dear Bride, I know you are looking for someone to speak to, but can I suggest you to speak to the Lord? He knows all the answers. I encourage you to rest in the Lord during this time. “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him…” Psalm 37:7
I have also been thru a time like this and the best thing I did and I am still doing is staying in the words as I was and still am determined to build my life on the rock. If you don’t know where to start –
https://encouragingwomen.org/psalms-proverbs/
Another thing I want to encourage you to do is to surrender to the Lord. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” 1 Peter 5:6
Let the peace of God reign in you. “They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD.” Psalm 112:7