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We received the following question on RRR:
“If you continue in emotional and spiritual adultery, with your husband as your first love, your husband’s first love will not be you—but the OW.
How can you change that?
How can you possibly let go of someone you care so much for; someone you want so much?
Well, if your husband came to you and asked YOU the very same thing about the woman he was involved with, what would you say?
What solution would you give him?
Whatever it is might just be the place where you should start.
Please clarify….What do you mean what solution would I give him and that then that’s what I should do? I don’t know what solution I would give.
Proverbs 16:9 NIV
[9] In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.
https://bible.com/bible/111/pro.16.9.NIV
Dear beloved bride I understand how you feel, I also struggle to letting go. My Beloved show me a balloon with everything in it and to let the balloon go. I’m letting go and not give up like giving up but letting go and giving up to give it for Him to take.
On the passage you don’t understand is when the earthly husband is first love, first in everything, his heart is with the other women. When the Lord is our first love first in everything the earthly husband heart wil change. What solution? I really feel only the Lord can answer this question,because only He now the right words to give him. Seek God, and ask Him to talk through you .
Dear Bride, letting go is not easy. All the brides that He leads here, struggle with letting go of their earthly husband, BUT once you find your First Love, the Love of your life (https://loveatlast.org/), it is easy.
Letting go is not giving up and moving on, not like the world teaches us, like Kristy shared, it is letting your situation go into the loving hands of the Lord to do what only He can do.
Let me try to explain what He showed me in this paragraph through my own testimony; when my heart was still very much yearning for my earthly husband, and my thoughts were consumed with him and restoration, my fh’s heart was very much turned towards the OW and he wanted nothing to do with me, in fact he tried his best to get as far away from me as possible.
Then something happened, my heart turned towards the Lord as my Heavenly Husband, I found my one True Love, the one that filled every void inside my heart that no man could ever fill. He healed my broken heart, and I was able to let go completely. I started to radiate with His love, to such an extent that my fh accused me of having somebody else. I found joy and peace in the midst’s of my situation, and my journey became enjoyable, I found the Abundant Life.
So I would like to encourage you to sit with the Lord, sit in His presence and just talk to Him, ask Him to fill your heart with His unconditional love, ask Him to heal your broken heart. He will. He wants to be on the throne of your heart, where He should be, no matter what your marital status.
He also led me to share this post from Janine with you: https://encouragingwomen.org/if-the-lord-isnt-your-first-love-you-are-missing-everything/
Hello, my sweet friend!! Letting go is so hard, I remember when my journey toward healing started I was clinging too much to my husband! Letting go means that instead of pursuing your husband, wanting to talk to Him, or being around him all the time, we surrender emotions and feelings to the Lord, and re-focus our minds to spend time with Our Beloved and in His Word!
The first in our hearts should be the Lord always! When we seek Him, abide in Him, and pray, our minds are renewed and our focus turns away from our circumstances and look up, to where He is and what He wants to offer us!
I want to highly recommend these chapters that helped me understand “the letting go process”
Chapter 6. Tell it to Your Husband: https://loveatlast.org/ryr/c6
Chapter 17. Enjoy Your Separation: https://loveatlast.org/ryr/c17
Take heart, my dear, Our Beloved loves so much, He loves the sound of your voice and will help you through every step of this trial season! You are not alone, you are deeply loved and we are here to support you!
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I guess I will have to keep praying so far even in spending so much time daily talking to the Lord I don’t feel him as my HH and I don’t hear Him. I feel like I have no peace and am just alone in this I have really backslid in holding onto hope. The loneliness is too much I have no one I’m with my children alone for 14 months now and I crave adult conversation and company so badly it doesn’t seem fair I don’t feel His presence I just feel very much alone especially physically I crave physical company and connection very much and I just want to give up on all of this. My heart is also hardening towards my EH I just don’t want to feel this pain anymore and I would never do to him what he’s done and continues to do to me. Our children won’t even speak to him now. I feel like we are being held hostage in this situation accepting of all of his actions and hurts towards us. I need a shift to happen soon. I just can’t take much more. I’m mostly and especially tried of crying every single day,
Dearest Rafa, I can relate to so much you shared, I was also alone with my children for a long time. My heart was hardened, until my HH took me on a journey to forgive, I needed His help to forgive, because I did not want to forgive, but He helped me and did it through me.
Even if you do not feel His presence right now, He is there right beside you. I had to ask Him, beg Him to help me to let go and turn my heart towards Him, to remove my fh from the throne that is His. And He did, it did not happen overnight.
He led me to share this lesson with you: https://loveatlast.org/fc/living-the-abundant-life/chapter-4-when-do-i-give-up/
And also my playlist in which I shared my journey towards forgiveness: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcDW8pvJ8F5W11zxS9EWp6X7R6hwPjYeH&si=c0LSZIP4V264j0a8
Thank you I will look at the links. I thought I was at a place of forgiveness but I’m not I’ve also backslid there especially around the OW I have no forgiveness for her in my heart right now. None. I know it’s not Godly but so far I am not there at all. Instead and I’m just being honest I find comfort in Proverbs and what it says about the ill comings of the adulteress. I am really struggling there very much.