As I was spending time with my Heavenly Husband yesterday, He spoke to me again about forgiveness that is such an important principle, because without it, we cannot have a gentle and quiet (https://hopeatlast.com/c3/day-8-chapter-3-a-gentle-and-quiet-spirit/) spirit.
I asked Him why He showed it to me again, since I know how important it is to forgive and I went through a whole journey just to forgive. He showed me that since I moved to the new town, I started to harbour unforgiveness again towards the OW other women and this time not because of the affair but because of my children.
It started out one afternoon when she came to fetch the children, although I did not see her because she stopped outside the complex’s main gate, the thought of her driving away with my children suddenly caused a sharp pain in my heart, and then anger, anger that she was willing to support my FH former husband when he wanted to take my children away from me, and as a mother herself, she is supposed to know how that would affect me as their mother. As the feelings came up, I immediately went to my HH and I talked to Him, giving Him all my feelings and He comforted me. When I still stayed in a different town, I knew she was driving them around and playing mother to my children, but it not seeing it, it didn’t bother me as much. But that incident and seeing her driving away with my children, suddenly instilled a deep pain and anger inside of me.
Since then it happened quite often that she came to pick them up, always outside the main gate, so I do not see her, but it didn’t bother me anymore, or so I thought. And that is what He showed me yesterday while I was talking to Him in the car. Again I had to ask Him to help me to forgive her, I told Him that I can’t and I don’t want to, but I know I have to, and that I need His help. I asked Him to again remove the burden of unforgiveness and bitterness from my heart. And the most amazing thing happened, it literally felt like a heavy weight lifted from inside my heart all the way up my shoulders and left my body completely. He gave me understanding regarding the position she must have been in when my fh wanted to take the children away. He showed me some things that really made me understand her situation better.
So once again, I want to encourage you to forgive. Ask Him to help you if you cannot do it on your own or in your own strength. Let Him lift the burden of unforgiveness and bitterness from you.
I want to share Erin’s Podcast, wLL77 YouTube Podcast “Bitter or Better“ with you:
I also want to share my Forgiveness Series with you:
Youtube Playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcDW8pvJ8F5W11zxS9EWp6X7R6hwPjYeH
Adina l can understand why it was so important for you to have the time that you needed with your HH. Bitterness is a horrible thing to feel. I remember when my EH fetched my daughter to drop her off for school but the OW was also in the car… I felt literally eaten up inside.. I did not KNOW what to do with those awful feelings!! I meditated on scripture but I just know that if at that time l knew l had a HH to run to and on whose shoulders l could cry on.. l probably would have felt so much better!!!
Thank you for sharing this podcast from Erin l shared it a while back but it will be so good for any new ladies that have joined and if you have not listened to this podcast and you struggle with feelings of unforgiveness and bitterness you must!!
Yesterday just confirmed that forgiveness is not a one time thing, we must forgive each and every day, 70X7 times, just as the Lord forgives us.
This is hard!!! But worth it!! I love the way you speak the truth!! We sometimes do not want to forgive, we then become bitter and feel guilty because of that! But praise the Lord that when we open our hearts to Him and tell Him every dark feeling He can heal us!! Thank you for sharing this
Adina, thank you so much for sharing this part of your struggle and journey! I have recently gone through something very similar with my daughter. I had to ask my HH to help me to understand what was holding me back. He showed me that I needed to forgive the OW for the impact the divorce is still having on my family, when recently my daughter went to see her father and his wife for the first time. My Husband showed me that I must walk in forgiveness daily. Holy Spirit enabled me to see that His forgiveness comes to and through me. If I hold onto forgiveness, refusing to give it, my heart will become heavy. Through prayer and fasting, He enabled me to let go of unforgiveness and allow His forgiveness to flow through me toward the OW. I am so grateful that He pulls me closer, higher to show me a better way to live my life with Him. And I am grateful that you have shared that I am not alone in my struggles. We can feel so isolated, believing the lie that I am the only one who isn’t walking this journey perfectly. It has truly encouraged me to read about the way our Husband has walked you through it. He truly changes our hearts.
Kathy, I fail daily, my heart’s desire is to walk the journey perfect, but my human nature still trips me up. But where I used to justify my mistakes, He now shows it to me immediately and instead of justifying, I can go to Him and repent. And sometimes before I revert back to my old nature, He stops me in my tracks, showing me that what I want to do or say, is not His way.
“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left.” Isaiah 30:21
Thank you for sharing dear Adina. I will never forget when you spoke on the WW Retreat about forgiveness and I had to admit that I didn’t want to forgive but that I had to because that is what my Darling Husband wanted me to do to not be bitter any more and I asked His help and I have to admit I walked with that bitterness for years. But that day I asked His help, it was such a relief.